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AwkwardTurtle
23/Non-binary
Breathe You say that like it’s easy Don’t you know every breath hurts A knife piercing through my chest Breathe Shut up! The room is spinning. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears Like a hammer against my ribcage. Breathe Get out of here with that. My thoughts are zooming so fast crashing like racing go-karts. Breathe They tell you to ground yourself But don’t tell me to use my senses They are fried raw from the nerves Breathe Say that again and see what happens, If you want to help right now, stop. Sit, and exist with me, please. That’s all I need. Stop telling me to breathe.
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Dec 29, 2025
Dec 29, 2025 at 4:38 AM UTC
Breath
This is a letter to the people that chose to betray me Those that I had trusted with the fragile parts of my inner light, And shattered it against the pavement, like it was made of glass. you laugh as you tell me it shall in no way shine as bright. For the longest time I was broken, shattered beyond recognition. A category four hurricane brewed relentlessly inside my head, So deafening and dreadful that I couldn't hear my thoughts and leaving shards of me scattered and thinly spread It wasn't until the day that the pieces were stomped to dust, and I no longer recognized the girl that looked back in the mirror, That I realized it was time to learn my way in this crazy world. I became gentle, sweet, the type of woman of which none is rarer So this is "Cheers!" to those people that chose to break me. and thought they were going to bask in the joy of my downfall. For without heaviness and torment that was born from the breaking, I might have gone without finding that there's a light to life after all.
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Dec 23, 2025
Dec 23, 2025 at 11:23 PM UTC
Shards Of Light
Sunflowers face each other in the depth of darkness, when light cannot be found, and they are met with harshness. They do not beg for the morning, while cursing the absent sun. Instead, they rely on each other, until the dreary night is done. Why can’t people be like sunflowers, and help when the well starts to run dry? Instead, it becomes a selfish game; no one cares when the stakes are high. See, there’s this thing we don’t realize: when the day is all said and done, if we could all rely on each other, we’d be like sunflowers without the sun.
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Dec 22, 2025
Dec 22, 2025 at 12:38 AM UTC
Lessons Learned from Sunflowers
“You only get one mother.” What a weird thing to say, Because she only gets one me. They didn’t think about that, did they? “Forgive her, it’s not that serious.” As if she is the one they need to protect They’ve forgotten the fact that I was a child, Or was I the one they chose to neglect? I only have one mother; she only had one chance And she blew it, willingly trading it for spite. While everybody has always been quick to pick a side, I am forced to take up the battles they refused to fight You do not get to dictate how I choose to heal Or rewrite the years I was forced to be small. I carried wounds that should have never been given, And answered for pain that was never my fault From an early age, I had to make myself small, to be quiet, clean, and easy to ignore This, my darlings, is no longer anger, but release. I refuse to carry what was never mine anymore.
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Dec 21, 2025
Dec 21, 2025 at 2:49 AM UTC
Inherited Silence
They tell you not to break a poet. You will melt into a gorgeous poem A beautiful splash of ink, Turned to a devastating prose. I tell you, don’t shatter their essence, You’ll be rewritten into a book. A gathering of thoughts, Confessions left unsaid, The heart of a writer is untamed, Because break it, then I fear, Your story is no longer your own But to be shared with world If you extinguish the flame of a poet You will through all eternity be The undercurrents of their lines And the ghost of every page. So I beg you, dear reader Please heed my warning, There is nothing more fragile Then the sacred pulse of a poet
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Dec 20, 2025
Dec 20, 2025 at 4:46 AM UTC
A Warning to the Readers
I have always and completely despised my eyes A strange color combination of green and blue My whole life, I wished for new ones, maybe brown? I always hated them, until the day I met you. I used to totally hate my eyes, and the glasses too I’d look at them and be reminded of my mother. But you started telling me they were the prettiest things And now I see my set of eyes, and can’t ask for another I no longer look at my eyes with complete disdain Because you tell me they’re beautiful everyday Slowly but surely I’m starting to agree with you, And learning to see myself in a kinder way.
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Dec 20, 2025
Dec 20, 2025 at 12:39 AM UTC
Green, Blue, and You
The Day I knew I was in love with you I remember it like it was yesterday, because while that day flipped my world, for everyone else, it was just another Tuesday. It's silly, I had known you for maybe three months? Three months of texts, call, and stolen glances but I watched you one night as you slept and in that quiet moment, something shifted God it was scary, the way my heart stopped even for a second, as I tried to process. How could one person grow to mean everything in such a short, intense, incredible time? I muted the phone that night and I cried. I cried because it was terrifying to me The amount of space you had already taken up In my world, in my life, in my routine I cried because...I couldn't tell you about it. I couldn't tell you that I had fallen so hard. I had fallen so hard, so fast, so completely, that you'd most definitely look at me differently. So I keep these words, safe and sound, and maybe they'll never meet your eyes, or maybe you will stumble across them one day and know I've loved you this entire time.
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Dec 19, 2025
Dec 19, 2025 at 7:58 PM UTC
The Day I Knew
"I really had fun chatting with you today, I can't believe I let the afternoon get away. you're very intriguing, what can I say?" "eighteen hours on the phone? oh my. once again time has passed us by, but I could talk to you forever, I won't lie." "I'm starting to really like you, ya know? It's stupid how fast these feelings can grow and for some reason, I just can't let it go." "You're gentle, your own quiet brand of kind so I'll stick around, I hope you don't mind If I tell you every beautiful thing I find." "you're pushing me away, you silly fool, I'm not going anywhere and won't lose my cool but you have me breaking my own rule" "I can't fall for you, I'm no ******* good God, I wish I was just misunderstood I don't know If I could love you like I should" "I only live once so I'll take that chance I'll let myself fall, no second glance. you make me want to change my stance." "pushing me away again, what the hell? I can't figure you out, I cannot tell but I do know this is not farewell." "welcome back, I missed you my dear good God do I wish you could be here so I could help you erase all the fear" "please don't push me away again, I can't guarantee I'll be here when you decide you're ready to begin" "yes, I know what I said. I am well aware. try as I might, I couldn't let myself go there. We'll talk later... if you still even care" "You are infuriating, and frustrating, and I don't understand half the things you do and God so help me, I'm so in love with you."
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Dec 19, 2025
Dec 19, 2025 at 7:57 PM UTC
Echoes in My Phone; A Timeline of Texts Never Sent
"I really had fun chatting with you today, I can't believe I let the afternoon get away. you're very intriguing, what can I say?" "eighteen hours on the phone? oh my. once again time has passed us by, but I could talk to you forever, I won't lie." "I'm starting to really like you, ya know? It's stupid how fast these feelings can grow and for some reason, I just can't let it go." "You're gentle, your own quiet brand of kind so I'll stick around, I hope you don't mind If I tell you every beautiful thing I find." "you're pushing me away, you silly fool, I'm not going anywhere and won't lose my cool but you have me breaking my own rule" "I can't fall for you, I'm no ******* good God, I wish I was just misunderstood I don't know If I could love you like I should" "I only live once so I'll take that chance I'll let myself fall, no second glance. you make me want to change my stance." "pushing me away again, what the hell? I can't figure you out, I cannot tell but I do know this is not farewell." "welcome back, I missed you my dear good God do I wish you could be here so I could help you erase all the fear" "please don't push me away again, I can't guarantee I'll be here when you decide you're ready to begin" "yes, I know what I said. I am well aware. try as I might, I couldn't let myself go there. We'll talk later... if you still even care" "You are infuriating, and frustrating, and I don't understand half the things you do and God so help me, I'm so in love with you."
Continue reading...
36
I saw that re-post the other day, "Does knowing me more lead to loving me less?" I couldn't get myself to scroll past it the question echoing in my mind I know that question, I know how that feels I ask myself too, in the quiet of the night the world asleep and my thoughts loud Wondering if closeness always ends by aching, pain, disaster, and distance There's only one thing that I do understand: Knowing you only draws me closer. As I learn each "favorite" I wonder why Would you ever double that you are worthy. As I learn each desire, hope, and dream I hope you reach each and every one You tell me you're "a lot", you're so convinced You're scared of the door to your mind and what would happen when you finally let it open. You're scared to let me inside, to let me see you on the bad days, the quiet and heavy days, the days you just don't recognize yourself I need you to know that they don't scare me. Those days won't change how I see you. They won't make you any less worthy of love. They make me want to stay longer, listen harder hold space instead of leaving it empty Knowing you more leads me to loving you more It draws me closer to you with each day With intention and gentle patience, I will not be looking for the exit, but searching for a seat in the front row.
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Dec 19, 2025
Dec 19, 2025 at 7:55 PM UTC
Closer, Not Less
Today, you told me you met someone new. The part of me that is your friend, smiled, because you deserve all the beautiful things this life could ever offer you But there is another part of me, the one you almost loved, The one in love with you I carry the warmth you gave her, the way your presence eased their tension. You never saw it, it was your second nature. So I write words, endless words, on paper, on scraps, an quiet nights. Each page folded and placed away, a small box of everything between what was and what never got the chance to be I remember how you noticed the small things, The shifts in mood, thoughts never spoken You looked in the spaces between moments, in places I didn't know to hide my darkness. And for a while, being seen like that, almost felt like being held. So yes, I am happy for you The part of me that is your friend hopes it works, that it is beautiful and that you have found the love you deserve But the almost lover in me, quiet, ashamed, and oh so tender Keeps the door unlocked, a window open Just in case the world ever decides it's time to send you back home to me
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Dec 19, 2025
Dec 19, 2025 at 7:54 PM UTC
The Almost Lover