I could daydream about a better life.
Where you are not anywhere near me.
I could scream myself to sleep at night.
Find a way to be somewhere else.
Don't want to be where you are anymore.
You are at the lowest low.
You've got a twisted plan.
To take with you as many people as you can.
And you plea for salvation.
With your fingers crossed.
And try to explain.
That you aren't willing to change.
A man can if he wants to.
I remember when i used to look up to you.
That everything you said was true.
Is that not what little girls are supposed to do?
Who the hell made you in charge?
I have these horrible thoughts.
That you'll smoke till cancer kills.
Or that you'd swallow a bottle of pills.
Just so you could disappear...
Its horrible to think these things of someone you love.
Even more that your my blood.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 4:17 PM UTC
It's not okay,
To push people away.
But that's what I seem to do.
Every single day.
I can't let anyone get to close.
Even though I wanted you the most.
I can't let anyone in,
Because then, I'll get attached to them.
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 12:32 PM UTC
Fight for what you want.
Even when others give up.
You are your most important person.
Its all on you.
To push through.
You know what you have to do.
Jul 22, 2014
Jul 22, 2014 at 4:41 PM UTC
I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep
when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since
when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference
when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good
when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic
when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories
when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me
when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure
when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry
when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach
the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed
Eat.
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 3:40 PM UTC
I'm the owner of my mind.
This is me.
The keeper of my heart.
This is me.
The vessel of my soul.
THIS IS ME.
The voice of my thoughts.
I'm my own person.
I see though my own eyes.
My perception.
I hear though my own ears.
This is what I receive.
Through my own lungs I breathe.
And it makes me want to heave.
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 11, 2014 at 11:17 PM UTC
Things aren't always as they appear.
You never truly know the ones that you hold dear.
It's painful, that the truth always comes at the point of a knife.
And the fears we have, come to life.
When the knife went in your chest.
You had to lie down to rest.
But it was a farce.
The pain wasn't anything too harsh.
They assure you, you will recover.
Aren't we suppose to love one another?
And these feelings that we hoard.
Small things that can easily be ignored.
And it's such a shame.
That we always know who to blame.
Cause I never saw this coming.
You would think it unbecoming.
I've always known what to do.
To put myself in a better mood.
And it hurt, everyone could see.
It just wasn't enough to **** me.
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 11, 2014 at 9:23 AM UTC
I know you still have my heart
stored somewhere I'd never
think to find because the
space between my ribs
always feels so cold,
causing them to
see only the
heartless
side of
me.
gd
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 11, 2014 at 9:14 AM UTC
They say that time
Slips through your fingers
Like sand
But it’s not really true
Sand is much easier to hold on to
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 3:55 PM UTC