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Aspen
Genderqueer Poetry from first hand experiences. / Originals from napkins, scraps, margins.
You came to live inside my house, crossing the threshold that does not say 'Welcome' You made your bed, and now you will not wake up "When will you leave?" But you don't hear me, and the sun has gone away.
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Mar 18, 2023
Mar 18, 2023 at 3:56 PM UTC
Grief Coming
How many times can i write the exact same thing In so many words, before they mean nothing at all The underlying message, always the same. I’m losing the war inside my mind.
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Dec 17, 2020
Dec 17, 2020 at 10:31 PM UTC
This Hurts
I had never expected roses or the tenderness reserved for lovers But I never anticipated rough hands that pushed and pulled, an unwanted pain deep inside my body Hot water not hot enough to scrub your touch away Bruises like hickeys, i can feel you pushing inside Your hot breath in my ear asking if I liked it A broken yes sounds like a moan but I’m crying You think it’s from ecstasy I’m shaking, you go faster thinking I’m having fun You like it being bigger than me being stronger I’m afraid your bigger your stronger When it was over you told me I was lucky “Most girls don’t ****** when they first lose their virginity” A shaky smile, on my mascara streaked face skin crawling, my shaking legs near collapse Fear The hot water is cold
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Oct 12, 2020
Oct 12, 2020 at 12:06 AM UTC
TW// ****
This aching inside it eats me Even when there is nothing left It eats away at the nothingness until I am nothing
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Oct 11, 2020
Oct 11, 2020 at 11:35 PM UTC
Only it remains.
There are no words to describe the way I can feel so empty so full In this one body It feels like there is no limit to it all No limbo Only free space for this hole inside of me To grow
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Sep 15, 2020
Sep 15, 2020 at 10:04 PM UTC
Little Body
Making love, you don't care about blood, it is sweet – that I am your prey.
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Sep 6, 2020
Sep 6, 2020 at 10:31 PM UTC
[ Making love, you don't ]
And by making an enemy of my body, I found true peace In destroying it.
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Sep 6, 2020
Sep 6, 2020 at 7:50 PM UTC
Self Harm
To feel my heart shatter in the very center of my chest, pain so strong I fall to my knees. The void, he laughs in my face.   “no, just this once. let it stay,” I begged. Only a second, I felt nothing again.
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Sep 6, 2020
Sep 6, 2020 at 7:49 PM UTC
Beg
My soul spoke volumes as it cried through my chest. Nothing would be so pure, so painful. Nothing like hearing the soul speak after years of silence. Hurt. Screaming it begged, to be set free, “please, let me go.”
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Aug 17, 2020
Aug 17, 2020 at 2:44 PM UTC
I’m dying
And to hear you scream that I’m not the same to my crumbling face Destroys me.
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Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020 at 8:25 PM UTC
Speechless