I find it funny how you came in and changed everything. You turned my world upside-down as I know I did to yours. What I don't find funny, though, is how once everything on my end fell into place, you took what I gave you - compassion, friendship, love - and threw it back at my face, shattering everything you put together in my life into a million little pieces. All the while, you looked me in the eye and called me your best friend. You called me the best thing that's ever happened to you. You told me that I brought out the best in you. And while that may be true, I thought the very same thing about you. But you let me down. Dropped me on my face. Shattered my heart. Because while I loved you, you loved hurting me and leading me on down a path of nothing but tears and destruction. You crushed my soul, but drove me to find the man perfect for me that you will never ever be.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 10:21 PM UTC
this is not about you
and I am done writing about you because all you really ever were was 3,000 almosts that never meant anything in the end
I'm not writing about how much I love you anymore but about how much I absolutely loathe your menacing brown eyes that glitter and gleam with fire
I'm not writing about how beautiful you are but how terribly rotten you are
to the very core
I'm not writing anything about you anymore at all because that is exactly what you want from me
I feed your ego
you never loved me
you just loved the
attention
and this is not about you.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 2:23 PM UTC
lost
i am completely and utterly, lost
lost with you, lost without you
i remember when it all seemed to make sense
when life was pure bliss, exhilaration
i remember what is was like to be excited to spring out of bed at the very crack of dawn, anxiously awaiting the possibilities of what experiences the day could bring
and now
i wake up feeling like the dreams i unconsciously create are much better than anything i can do while being awake
i wonder where all the joy escaped to
did you steal it from me?
because, you sure seem to be enjoying yourself
you once told me everyone deserves eternal happiness
but then you brutally ripped the smile straight off my face
you extracted all of the pink in my cheeks and the color from my eyes
i never thought of you as a thief
but then again,
you are a lot of things i never thought you'd be.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 2:22 PM UTC
the truth is I don't find comfort in looking into your eyes and not feeling weak in the knees, it feels so good to finally feel something other than pain and regret. although my mind and my heart may be in a constant quarrel between " I can't love you" and "I can't not love you" i believe that loving you is inevitable. it can't possibly be my fault that your chocolatey eyes pierce my soul and there's no way I can help the fact that your happiness alone is enough to make my day. maybe this is just my role in society to play, maybe right now I just happen to be the girl who loved a little too much, and im not sure that I know exactly what that means for me or how it will devolve, but there's one thing I am sure of. I am sure that your ghost will live within the depths of my heart for a long time. maybe one day I will be more than just the girl who loves too much, maybe I'll be the girl who was loved just a little too much, by you.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 2:20 PM UTC
To forget you, I thought I would delete our messages.
Our pictures together, even your number.
I then remembered all the memories are carved in my heart and burned in my mind.
Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 10:58 PM UTC