I used to think words “their presence will be with you” was a way to soothe people experiencing loss. I now have the misfortune to realize it’s true. Maybe in time it will be comforting, but right now in the middle of heartbreak it’s devastating.
I showered today and when I opened the door I was waiting for that vocal, former fat cat, to push his way inside to lick the water from the shower. Three bowls of perfectly good water and the shower was the preferred selection. When I opened that door I felt him there, where he always waited, but quickly realized what I was feeling was not him, but the expectation he would be there.
Later on in the kitchen doing the dishes. I check behind me to make sure he’s not at my feet, waiting to end my life by tripping me. Or guilting me because I stepped on his tail. Yet I still tripped even though he wasn’t there.
Items on the floor the same size as him I immediately think is him, always being in the same room as me, always watching over me. I see him out of the corner of my eye everywhere, still not accepting he won’t be there again.
It’s not just one heartbreak, but many. That must be the presence they speak of, but it hurts more than expected.
Nov 14, 2025
Nov 14, 2025 at 8:05 AM UTC
I put all my faith in the good I thought I saw in you
I ignored those who truly loved me
Those who knew you would destroy the best in me
I foolishly gave you my trust
I defended you until I was blue in the face
I killed myself wasting my last breath on you
May 13, 2019
May 13, 2019 at 10:01 AM UTC
All your fears come true,
you were just there in lieu.
A body to warm his bed,
a soundboard to ease his head.
You always were a placeholder,
again forced to grow colder.
Soon there will be nothing there,
no words or love to show you care
Mar 30, 2019
Mar 30, 2019 at 9:27 AM UTC
Everyday at three fifteen you appear in my thoughts.
Routine urges me to reach out to you.
But by three sixteen I remember why I won’t,
you aren’t worth my time.
Mar 26, 2019
Mar 26, 2019 at 12:14 PM UTC
One day I’ll stop pausing my life for you.
I’ll let it play out the way it was meant to.
No longer a main character,
you’ll become an extra in my tale.
Mar 18, 2019
Mar 18, 2019 at 10:55 AM UTC
This song mixed with that scent,
the final blow.
What was already cracked,
is now destroyed.
Mar 11, 2019
Mar 11, 2019 at 9:29 PM UTC
I become frost bitten responding to your words.
My limbs grow numb at the same time as my mind.
My hands grow cold at the same time as my heart.
My fingers turn black at the same time as my soul.
Mar 2, 2019
Mar 2, 2019 at 9:29 AM UTC
Every song brings an image of you into my thoughts.
Good and bad, even some missing memories.
A foggy feeling knowing that you were there.
Knowing I was safe I let myself go.
But now I hear those songs and I yearn for those absent moments.
Feb 15, 2019
Feb 15, 2019 at 9:49 PM UTC
You dismissed me immediately.
You didn’t even bother to look me in the eye.
I stood there wondering how you decided so fast.
You had looked so kind,
I thought maybe this one is different.
I decided to be brave, to cross that line.
Within seconds you made me regret it.
I wasn’t ready.
Now it will take even longer.
I fill my mind with reasons to make up for your silent rejection.
Feb 15, 2019
Feb 15, 2019 at 10:02 AM UTC
I waited for you to say those words, to finally admit you cared.
By the time you said them out loud, I was already ensnared.
To someone new, just as broken as you.
Do I truly yearn to hear that phrase,
Or are you all just a game I play?
An intricate way to feel desired,once I have you I’m no longer inspired.
Feb 8, 2019
Feb 8, 2019 at 8:05 PM UTC