He is the ocean in a hurricane
Chaotic and beautiful
Powerful as it churns deep in the sea
Leaving nothing unsettled
The water at the surface swirls
Pulling everything into the depths
Like a vortex
Holding me captive in the waters embrace
His water crashes in waves on the shore
Permanently marking the earth
Engulfing the passers by
Destroying the monotony
And when the hurricane passes
The surface settles calmly
And His gentle strength surrounds me
Leaving nothing in me unchanged
Feb 5, 2020
Feb 5, 2020 at 8:51 AM UTC
Does anything happen in the hesitation
Can time move forward
Or am I sitting on the edge of my seat for nothing
I hesitate out of fear
Because I know what I’ve known
And I’ve lost myself to a lie before
I’m hesitant to feel anything
Because everything hurts
Even when it’s good
Why do I deserve good
When did I earn happiness
What makes me worth any effort
But I’m already lost again
And I know exactly where I am
And I already feel what I feel
This is like nothing I’ve ever known
And though I feel guilty
I want this feeling to stay
Feb 3, 2020
Feb 3, 2020 at 7:03 PM UTC
The edge-
I stand at the edge of the water
Where my toes barely graze the cool tide
My heels lifted off the ground
I’m unsteady and my balance wavers
To where one breeze might knock me forward
Out into the ocean of time and change
If I just let go I could fall blindly
Let the waves pull me in
And sink into the sea until it covers me
I’m afraid to drown
I’m afraid to lost sight of the sun
I’m afraid because I can’t run away underwater
I’ve always had a way out
I always know my escape paths
But this ocean is so strong and overwhelming
The salty smell pulls on me
Stronger than any desire I’ve ever felt
To just dive in headfirst
If I could just throw caution to the wind
And actually live for once
I wouldn’t be standing on my toes at the edge of the water right now
Feb 3, 2020
Feb 3, 2020 at 6:48 PM UTC
Time is frozen solid
Like the ground in the middle of winter
It takes effort to dig down
To break through the barrier
And more ice just piles up on top
Like the snow and icicles
Falling off of the trees in the wind
Covering the fact that we’re stuck here
Time doesn’t move in the dead of winter
It stands still until the sun rises again
And spring warmth begins enter in
Thawing the solid foundation that we walk on
And we just wait
Not realizing that we’re standing still
Hoping expectantly for spring to come
And save us from this icy prison
But what if spring never comes
Time must move forward for seasons to change
Everything will stay the same
Unless someone is brave enough step out
I am not brave enough to step forward
I can’t let go of what’s here now
I can’t forget the harsh winter
There’s too much here that holds me
So when you decide to step forward
Into new spring growth and warmth
Grab my hand, and take me with you
Don’t leave me here, frozen in place
Jan 17, 2020
Jan 17, 2020 at 12:31 PM UTC
You moved on
So fast and easy
Like I never mattered
Like what we had wasn’t real
And you seem happier now
Like a weight was lifted
And your free
Free from me, as if I was a prison sentence
Did I hold you back
Keep you from accomplishing your dreams
Take away the things that make you you
Force you to change when you were with me
I never thought I had you trapped
All I wanted was for you to be happy
For you to find what you needed
And bloom like the flowers in the spring
But you left me alone
You went out searching for something better
And you found a new mountain to bloom on
You found a new sun to fill you with warmth
You never wanted me as I am
You wanted to make me into another you
You wanted me to make your life easier
And set you up for your dreams and desires
And then you wanted to leave me
Broken and used up
Silent and feeling guilty
Hurting and emptier than I ever was before
Jan 17, 2020
Jan 17, 2020 at 12:31 PM UTC
Busy people
Running to get everything done
So focused on things to do
They don’t notice the world around them
Worried people
Constantly thinking about the worst outcome
Obsessing over what ifs
Scared to truly live their lives
Tired people
Struggling to keep it all together
Disorganized and messy
Barely making it to the next meeting or appointment
Dying people
Slowly wasting away everyday
Not cherishing the little things
Not noticing that this is what makes life worth it
Jan 16, 2020
Jan 16, 2020 at 1:27 PM UTC
Today I am stepping into the water
Wading deeper until I’m covered
And the current sweeps me up with it
I will swim with the current
Following wherever it takes me
No longer fighting against it
I will dive deep into the ocean
Seeing all the new life in the depths
Greeting every new experience with open arms
I will keep my eyes open
To see the wonders of the ocean floor
To notice the details of every beauty before me
I will embrace the change
And be fully open to all the possibilities
I’m ready for a new frontier
I’ve been yearning for this for so long
And it’s finally here
Today I’m free to swim and be me
Jan 9, 2020
Jan 9, 2020 at 11:53 AM UTC
On to a new day
As the sun starts to rise
Or is it the moon this time
I’ve lost track
Of night and day
Unsure what time it is
What’s the difference
Between dark and light
The both feel the same these days
Jan 8, 2020
Jan 8, 2020 at 4:50 AM UTC
You tiptoe in the edge of the water
Sending ripples out over the surface
Affecting every living thing that exists there
On the surface is the moons reflection
Dancing wildly on the water
Moving with the current without hesitation
And the stars in the sky glitter the area
Contributing every amount of light they have
No matter how small or insignificant
You lift your face to the sky and breathe deep
Taking in the scent of the breeze
Noticing the details in the nature around you
There is harmony between you and the night
You move with grace and beauty
And it’s breathtaking how it compliments the universe
Jan 4, 2020
Jan 4, 2020 at 1:34 PM UTC
When everything was scary a wrong
I found peace in knowing someone was out there
Who understood what was happening
And maybe it’s not that you understood
But you were willing to try
And see my feelings and know my side
And then when things were harder
You didn’t just let me sit alone
But you stole my seat and made me be beside you
Instead of pushing away like everyone else did
You opened up and accepted me as I was
All broken and confused and messy
And when I begin to worry and overthink
You reassure me that everything’s okay
Instead of letting me believe I’m crazy or wrong
And when everything’s good you let it be
Instead of tearing me down
And ruining all the little things that make me me
And when I thought I could never hope again
And had no faith that things could be good
You made me believe I could be happy
It can be easy and fun and carefree with you
And I don’t know exactly what I’ve found
But I know I want to keep it
Jan 3, 2020
Jan 3, 2020 at 5:30 PM UTC