I grew up
In a run down family,
A run down place
Where passive aggression was
The fluent language
Underhanded comments
Were considered compliments
I grew up
Where words were really
Just swords in disguise
And while we tried our best,
It was a negative place.
Where I was taught never to rise
Where positivity was a mocked
Friends seemed like enemies
And my head was always on the
Defense, defense,
Don’t cause anyone offense,
Even if what they teach is down,
Just pretend you don’t see
Because really, my darling,
No one can never be kind,
No one is truly happy
Anxiety runs in my family,
And I see it through genealogy
In our veins is depression
In our DNA is dependence
Our sight was clouded,
Full of sadness and low esteem
Where sunshine is not all it seems
Despite my environment
I realize positivity exists
And actually, it fits!
The sun shines through clouds,
I see grass with a dewy mist
Rainbows and fairies;
How did you not see this?
Because of all of these,
I do not trust
My anxieties
I know that really,
It is the enemy
Whom lives inside of me
Well, Anxiety-
Get out!
Your clouds are not welcome,
Your fog is now gone!
I open the windows
Let the morning in
Because you
Will NEVER win.
Aug 3, 2019
Aug 3, 2019 at 12:45 PM UTC
Sleep well darling,
For tomorrow is another day
A day away from yesterday’s pain and the stress of today
A fresh outlook, a fresh beginning
The sun will smile down upon us,
My dear,
For you worthy of all the happiness in this world
You are worthy of all this peace,
All this love, all this embrace
For you are wanted, and needed,
Supported and all we want is
To see that you have already succeeded
Jul 20, 2019
Jul 20, 2019 at 2:48 AM UTC
Mommy, are you awake?
The man I married, I can’t seem to keep him happy.
I try my best, but he yells at me.
Mommy are you there?
I think I’m part of a mismatched pair
My husband says he cares,
But often I feel scared.
He never hits me, and he always says he’s sorry.
That I just really irritated him this time,
He’ll get better, don’t worry.
Mommy, is this what happened with daddy?
He would raise his voice, get upset.
Mommy, how many times did it take
Before he raised his hand with the first hit.
Jul 8, 2018
Jul 8, 2018 at 2:38 AM UTC
Dear Little Girl,
Putting on that shirt,
Wishing your body was different.
Dear little girl,
Trying new concealer,
Wishing your skin was clearer.
I see you,
Watching the others,
wishing you got the same attention.
Babygirl, it isn't a competition.
Little girl,
Close your eyes,
Open your ears and listen.
You are a beauty
You are a beauty
Don't be insecure;
Be assured.
We've all felt this way,
It still goes on today.
(You are a beauty,
You are a beauty)
Your heart, it beats for a reason:
You are a work of art.
(Beauty, beauty)
Dear little girl,
Wear what you'd like,
Love your body the way it is.
(Beauty, beauty)
Dear little girl,
Wear make up if you'd like,
But know your skin is perfect.
You are a beauty,
You are a beauty!
Don't be insecure,
Be assured.
We've all felt this way,
It still goes on today.
(Beauty, beauty)
Fingerprints on your skin;
Of the creator man.
Your heart, it beats for a reason:
He made you a work of art.
(Beauty, beauty)
Don't be insecure,
Be assured.
We've all felt this way,
And it still goes on today.
(Beauty, beauty)
You are a beauty,
You are a beauty!
Aug 7, 2015
Aug 7, 2015 at 5:41 AM UTC
I watch from afar,
And suffer in silence
I say "amor y amor"
But you have resistance.
I show amar y amar
Let me be your princess
I'm gentle as a dove,
But to you I'm a mess
The way you see her,
I no longer exist
Oh how you loved her,
Yet she clenched her fist
She had the world
In her hands
Yes threw you away,
Into desert sands
I would treat you well,
I would never rebel
Your pain I could defy,
On me you should rely
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014 at 4:47 PM UTC
You guide me
I look around
Mist is all I see
The sun shines down
Through the leaves
The nature trail leads
Up to Your steps
Beautiful, white
Marble stairs
Strong and sturdy
I slowly turn
To ask
"Where are You?"
I feel calm
Even if I am
Without an answer
You have led me here;
I know You will lead me
Through the fog
You lead me across water
That is miles deep
This depression
Is my shadow of the valley
But I know that if I keep trusting
Keep hoping
And persist in prayer
You will lead me through it.
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 6:15 PM UTC
My heart is broken
My heart is shattered
The pieces fly
Side to side
As destruction sets in
Pieces fall to the floor
As I forget the truth
And believe the lies
Your false compliments
I cling to
The drugs I use
Really only bruise
They only give false hope
I try to cope,
Cover up my pain
But deep down, I know:
It is in vain.
Who will come
To mend my heart?
When will the prince
Ride up on his steed?
And re-start my heart
Against my abuser's plead
When will he
Find the key?
When will my garden's
Gate open?
He will find the pieces
That are scattered
Among the dead flowers.
And use true love
As his power.
He will mend
The shattered pieces
Put them back together
At last, I will be able to feel
Finally, my heart will heal
Because I will find
The tailor of my heart
And he will find me
Never again will
My heart need a re-start.
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 2:56 PM UTC
Here
Here is where you sat
Right upon my lap
I remember those days
When I would curl my arms around you
and you would look up and smile
I remember those days when you mumbled
"I believe in you."
And you would hold my hand
Your tiny little fingers would curl around my pinky
I would feed you hope
love
I would show you determination
commitment
And then I was deceived
I could no longer believe
You were my reason to live
But I let you go
You were my dreams
No, you were not a baby
You were a dream
Of hope
of faith
and of love.
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 2:46 PM UTC
i'm the girl who tares herself apart
because she tries to find something she's missing
i'm the girl who is scared of her own mind
because i don't know how to control it
i'm the girl who used to cry herself to sleep
because i didn't know how to be "good enough"
i'm the girl who has a secret that will change everything
i'm the girl who gets stronger every fall
i'm the girl who makes jokes about things i really don't think are funny
i'm the girl who doesn't know what love feels like
but can give it to whoever needs it
i'm the girl who's more than an age
i'm more then what you think of me
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 2:39 PM UTC
She looks so nice
Nobody hears her cries at night
And her beautiful voice-
Is her only choice
What's going on at home,
Nobody knows
Nobody sees
But honestly,
I can see
Cause that used to be me
(That used to be me)
Her problems, her trials
She makes them so small
A true follower if Christ...
And I saw her in the paper
Nobody heard the cries
Under all her ties
Confidence, she shows
A true follower of a Christ
Her heart:
Breaking
Hurting
Crying
She keeps it to herself
No one seems to see
And at every cry, came a sigh
Heaven watchin' over her
Can't seem to find
My mind,
Must be in a bind
Saw her in the paper,
She's gone
Father finally killed her,
Filled her withies
And we hear the sighs,
We hear her sighs.
(Written around May 2011)
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014 at 11:40 PM UTC