When I close my eyes I feel the air of one warm summer night
When you and I were closer than before
When the sea met the mountains with no desert in between
And we danced in the thick ocean breeze without care.
No one was there to see us blossom and flower
And it was beautiful that way
Because the bees hummed in harmony
And the sand hugged our bare feet
And the fire’s light licked your face
Casting the most magnificent moving shadows
And you and I were basking in our prison of solitude
Like the birds that tangoed overhead
But calming clouds above can be deceiving
And floating pillows turned to billows of rain
And thunder ripped us apart
It shook our houses and roared in our ears
And its lightning charred us
till our flesh seared to bone
Fire and brimstone and the end of the world.
And I never saw you again…
May 10, 2023
May 10, 2023 at 9:34 PM UTC
It’s like I’m slipping in slow motion
I’m the only one who can notice it now
But eventually I’ll fall
My gut tells me to grasp at the straws
I planted to steady me
But their roots are shallow
And stalks are withered
And when I reach up they brush past
My fingers and our connection fails
And I
F
A
L
L
I fall too fast in slow motion
For anyone to help
And all this time
I felt it inside
Knowing somethings wrong
And I said nothing
May 10, 2023
May 10, 2023 at 9:24 PM UTC
I’m tired of dreaming of holding your hand
Of long drives with just you and me
Of things that will never be
I’m tired of thinking you’ll ever love I
With your sunshine smile
And moonlight eyes
You can’t drive my car
So you sat by my side
And silently took hold of my hand
I shift gears with my left
So we wouldn’t let go
But, really, in the end
I should have known
That was a dream
That felt far too real
Now it’s something I don’t want to feel
I’m tired of waking up
From these horrid little dreams
Chalked full of dread
And leave me more worn
Than my winter tires’ treads
Apr 18, 2023
Apr 18, 2023 at 12:03 PM UTC
Fragmented:
Silk sleeve, ah! No sound
Jade courtyard, ah! Dust grow
Empty room cold and still/silent/lonely
Fallen leaf lean on doubled door-bar
Peer-after that beautiful woman, Ah! Where find?
Feel my heart not-yet at-ease rather
Translated:
O your silk sleeve! In the silent
Jade courtyard. O how dust grows
In a cold and empty room, lonely in stillness.
The fallen leaves lean on the barred double door
Through it look at my beautiful woman, O where does she lie?
I feel my heart not yet at ease, rather skipping beats
Apr 17, 2023
Apr 17, 2023 at 9:56 PM UTC
Booting…booting…booting
Power on
Channel change
Weave through channels
Comical in a moment
Historical in the next
Melodramatic then bold
Tailor made for for the masses
Everyone has a channel they like
And I tune to all
But what when alone?
No channel to choose
A dark reflective screen
Replays a dark mien
I am a TV
For you to watch
Delicately balanced
Too easy to botch
Apr 17, 2023
Apr 17, 2023 at 9:48 PM UTC
~Disgusting
Click, hold, pause…
Nahhh
Click, hold, pause…
Nahhh
Resume —resume—
Watch —
Watch C
Watch O
Watch N
~Beautiful
Watch S
Watch U
Watch M
Watch E
~Disgusting —
…
Click, hold, pause…
Apr 17, 2023
Apr 17, 2023 at 9:46 PM UTC
I want to go to the gym
I want to run on the treadmill
I want to burn off all my fat
and burn off all my skin
I want to lean out of my window
and puff the cigar that’s collecting dust downstairs
I want to slip ***** in my drinks
and sit in the below-zero weather
I want to feel a different kind of warmth
I want to fill my lungs with a different kind of air
A different kind of burn
I want to learn how to play the piano
I want to take care of my voice
I want to be better with my father
As if I have a choice
I want to be happy
I want to write this down in pen
I want to be free
But, frankly, in the end
Is it really up to me?
Dec 24, 2022
Dec 24, 2022 at 11:30 PM UTC
Both of my parents “don’t smoke”
But the pack in the bag disagrees
And the butts in the yard
Hiding spots in the car
Beer cans through which I can see
Both of my parents don’t smoke
Sometimes I think it’s a joke
When they’d smile their smiles
And lie to my face
But every secret has its place
And at least mine aren’t known
Sep 4, 2022
Sep 4, 2022 at 1:23 PM UTC
I’ve stopped saying I love you back
To the father I no longer cut slack
For the birthdays missed
And the time not spent
For the nights not kissed
And the love not lent
This Apple rotted from the seed
His love is something I don’t need
But night after night
And year after year
I fight his daemons
And face his fears
The sins of the father
Will be payed by the son
So in the end
No one’s won
Sep 4, 2022
Sep 4, 2022 at 1:12 PM UTC
I push a penny of a porch railings to feel
it plummet and hear it’s final ping
And push a nickel off at night so I don’t
notice the novel shine as it falls on a
noose
And push a dime only at dusk and
dawn, as not to disturb their daemons,
and as not to degrade their demise
And a quarter at midnight, so it’s
questions and queries with which it
quals can be quietly cast
Then I imagine myself as an inkling,
inching forward with indifference,
inquiring on the irony of indignation if I
insisted on ending it instantly, now
Jul 22, 2022
Jul 22, 2022 at 8:35 PM UTC