I find myself of late,
Without the words or will to write.
But it's not a quiet state,
It's clogged with bad unspoken rhyme.
I am not the brightest star,
But quite surely I'll still shine.
Whether anybody sees it,
It's all here and it's all mine.
Mar 9, 2024
Mar 9, 2024 at 10:24 AM UTC
Compressed in bed, feeling rigid,
Dreaming about animals dying.
The mornings kick so much harder-
Kick me right back into bed.
We just let the sun rise and set.
And let it be known-
I'm no more awake come noon,
No more awake at work,
No more awake in dreams:
Wading through syrupy water,
I feel that way come day.
I keep trying to speak up
But no one even sees the bubbles rise
Jun 30, 2023
Jun 30, 2023 at 3:51 PM UTC
cold, long days, im burning my lungs
inside my bedroom
2 long years of
empty living, empty minds.
my figure haunts the mattress
which haunts my bedroom
as silence haunts my ears,
my brain.
living like this,
its so easy to pretend
and so easy to believe
that im not here
Feb 12, 2023
Feb 12, 2023 at 3:09 PM UTC
Each day I sit: numb hands, numb feet
Waiting for the autopilot to take my space
So I can fall asleep in the passenger seat
And wake up in a different place
Or even drift right past tomorrow
If I'm his hostage, he's my plague
Because the bumpy road he tolerates
Always rocks away my aches
My body is held by strings
And my eyes no longer blink
So I stay in the passenger seat
And keep choosing not to think
Jan 30, 2023
Jan 30, 2023 at 5:00 PM UTC
On nights like this,
Self sabotage is all I know.
I'll ruin the things I love the most,
Until I have exactly what I deserve:
Nothing.
Jul 5, 2021
Jul 5, 2021 at 4:52 PM UTC
I thought it was homesickness
So I came home
And nothing changed.
If home is where the heart is,
I'm sick for you.
Jun 25, 2021
Jun 25, 2021 at 1:44 PM UTC
In the constant motion of calamity,
you are my tranquility.
My peace, my rest,
my heaven.
In the burning heat of the desert,
you are my oasis.
My lifesource, my rarity,
my hope.
In the unseen darkness of night,
you are my torch.
My guidance, my honesty,
my light.
In the meantime,
you are mine.
Jun 25, 2021
Jun 25, 2021 at 1:34 PM UTC
Like the seasons
I'll keep changing
But I always come back
To where I began
Aug 15, 2020
Aug 15, 2020 at 10:27 AM UTC
"I mean I think I'm happy"
And that's how it began
"Like why shouldn't I be?
Things are fine right now
I have my health, my friends and family.
I work a job and have some plans,
the future isnt hopeless.
Tomorrow still shines bright for me,
this lifes my magnum opus."
Yet in her eyes another tale
was told as clear as day.
No matter her persuasion,
to convince herself another way.
"Times do get dark-" She further added
"But what's life without some pain?
Just a set of tasks with no direction,
no need to complain."
She hid away from feeling,
for to face her own dismay
was to kneel before her sitting God
and shout rather than pray:
"No, I'm really not alright-
And I dont always know why.
But the emptiness sustains
without the confidence to cry.
Was it you who did this?
One day will you stop it?
Or shall I try at a second life
Maybe soon I can commit."
But her God replied in silence,
or maybe in the flowing of the tide.
Perhaps in the movement of the wind,
or the calls of cyanide.
"Yeah I think I'm happy,
The past is in the past.
The present day is fine to me,
Though this will be my last."
Jan 17, 2020
Jan 17, 2020 at 9:48 AM UTC
Am I ready yet
Or do I keep waiting?
Tomorrow sounds good.
Tomorrow, the following day will sound good.
Eventually, yesterday would sound better.
All except today.
Does today even exist?
I live in memories or future anxieties.
All I know now is what happened, or what's to come.
There is no presence.
I just want to feel present.
Where did today go?
Oh well, good night again.
Jan 15, 2020
Jan 15, 2020 at 10:51 AM UTC