When my father asked me what the basis of our relationship was,
I couldn’t give him an answer. Now, as the aftertaste of it -
that bitter tang of overripe mandarins -
Sits heavy under my tongue and on my teeth, I can say,
it’s because I love fruit.
I saw you,
faded and frail, in early winter.
Had seen the promise of sweet giving, of tired roots aching for warmth,
waiting.
You had tried to cut yourself down,
so I became your giving tree.
I tended to you, gave you many of my firsts.
In a way, so did you. At least that’s what you told me.
You had promised me growth.
That you would tend to me
As I did you. That we would create our own harvest.
Apple orchards, cherry blossoms, bountiful vineyards.
I had taken your word to heart.
It was sweet, cloying nectar.
I let it smother me, sink into my skin.
Let it seep into my veins.
Let it ferment.
I was drunk on your touch, worshipped
the saccharine velvet of your skin,
Like supple nectarines.
You didn’t mind the gentle scrape of teeth
or nails, of wandering lips, my curious hands teasing, testing.
Tracing the ink outlines of sacred swirls and ancient patterns
Adorning an ignorant and undeserving left arm.
Nor did you mind the growing rift, the root rot festering,
the mandarins that were left out on the counter on those hot nights,
the fruit fly that fed on them.
You could not be bothered to bat the fly away.
Worst of all, you forgot to mention
Orange never quite suited you.
May 29, 2018
May 29, 2018 at 9:56 PM UTC
If I could kiss constellations against your skin, I would turn you into the night sky
So that every one could look at you with the same wonder and admiration as I
If I could kiss every color against your lips, your mouth would be a watercolor sunset on the horizon
My love,
If I my hands could mold forever into something tangible, into something you could put into your pocket, I would let my fingers trail across our bodies until we could last until the end of time
My dear,
You are marvelous
You are one of the most beautiful creatures I have every encountered
If I could pour my love into you like concrete I would. Let it harden, stay nestled in every inch of your heart.
If I could breathe life into every dream of yours, I would go breathless
Would make the world as perfect as you would like
As beautiful as you would like - a rose garden on every block
A technicolor sky
Darling,
If I could condense my love for you into writing, I would be the best poet there ever was
May 29, 2018
May 29, 2018 at 9:50 PM UTC
There was a list of names
So many is lost count
Of each lover that tainted his lips
Whose skin he touched
Before touching my own
And each song he sang to me was from their album
And my shoes fell into their footprints
Why did I let him deconstruct every brick I had put together
Why did I gag on her breath for so long
Couldn't even remember what he tasted like
Because her strawberry chapstick was embedded on his lips
Her perfume on his clothes
And when I looked him in the eyes I swear her iris reflected back at me
Like he was seeing through me
Like they were always one step ahead
Like they were always the leading role and I an understudy
Why did I lock up my dignity and throw it away for so long
Thought if I could tuck in my demons they would rest easy
Put my thoughts on hold anytime there was something amiss
Why did I stay through every late night phone call that rang from her bedside table
And every lie he picked from his teeth
Why did I make a home in an unsafe place only to complain when my sanctuary was invaded
Why did I settle for a boy who simply did not want to be alone. And I was a shoulder on those rainy nights where his phone couldn't reach hers
And I was a mouth when hers was too far to kiss
And I was always second best
Giving myself up in battle for a man who commit treason
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 11:56 PM UTC
And if all the colors came together
To form the purest rainbow
I think I would still prefer your eyes like the pacific
And if the stars came down and danced before my eyes
I think I would still prefer to count the freckles that litter your body like the night sky
Darling
You could hand me all the time in the world
A clock with infinite hours
And it still would never be enough time at your side
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 11:54 PM UTC