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Aj20
I'm 20 years old I've been writing poems for 12 years I suffer from many mental disorders but that doesn't stop me. I've had my share of self harm and addiction. I write what I feel at the time. Its not always pretty.
I have a question for you Something I need to know How do you truly Let yourself go Sink into your cover With a smile on your face How do you please Tell me this now How do you become happy When you only know to drown Smiling hurts My voice isn't used My eyes they rain All of the time How do you find happiness When you just want to die When you see the darkness So inviting So calm and peaceful How do you smile How do you heal How do you find A reason to stay
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Mar 14, 2016
Mar 14, 2016 at 1:19 AM UTC
How...
Kisses can mean so many things So many different emotions come from them We all have the idea of a perfect kiss From the time we are young We look forward to that one perfect moment When time stops The world ceases to turn Our breathing hitches Our hearts flutter That kiss for me is different though I want to feel love in that kiss I want my body to become warm I want my mind to realize it's happiness and love coming from it Not just an action two people do God how badly I wish to be kissed
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Mar 10, 2016
Mar 10, 2016 at 7:34 PM UTC
A kiss
Come here child Don't be afraid I won't hurt you I just take the pain You've tried for so long To forgive and forget Its just too much at once In your little head The voices they creep The tics they ridicule The images inside Your amazing twisting mind All you ever say "why are you being so mean!? This who I am this is me" I'm here now so come with me We will take a walk in the summers breeze You won't cry not anymore You won't hide behind closed doors Its all alright Can't you see? Its better this way You're safe with me "Looking at the reapers face Knowing full well of his evil ways I take his hand He leads me down Down down down Deeper in the ground As I see the last of the light I picture the love of my life I whisper into the dark night I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being me" I can't do it Not on my own He said he's helping Helping me cope I won't have to worry I won't always cry I won't remember the pain inside I won't see your face In the dead of night Its just an illusion A trick in my mind I won't hear your voice I won't miss your lips I won't miss the way you held my hand Come here child Don't be afraid I won't hurt you I just take the pain You've tried for so long To forgive and forget Now it's all over Trust me my friend
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Mar 9, 2016
Mar 9, 2016 at 10:57 PM UTC
Nightmare
I always wanted to marry a beautiful girl Nighttime wedding under the stars I love the stars so much The way they shine so brightly Even though they have died I love to lay outside in the summer Spring or fall and look up At the stars shining above me Wondering how far are they all It would be a dream to be married underneath them It would be a dream to visit Ireland for a honey moon See my ancestors home Irish through and through That would a dream come true To see the world with my wife by my side To take my baby on journies far away Watch as my child grows up with two moms And know they have seen a variety of cultures I want a life worth living I dream of being okay Craving to be happy Dreaming of "One Day"
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Mar 9, 2016
Mar 9, 2016 at 1:56 PM UTC
One Day
in a matter of moments the world crumbling falling to my knees the unbearable pain, the continual need to cry my strength, it's fading quickly i can't hold on anymore
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Mar 8, 2016
Mar 8, 2016 at 10:58 PM UTC
weakness
i close my eyes welcoming the darkness drowning in hurt unbearable bound and motionless waiting for time to slow and swallow me here i lie covered rooted in misery and despair as a corpse waiting for burial pleading silently for words to will my spirits to lift and set my sad soul free i finally find my way through after each fall i eventually rise   gracefully learning to cope
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Mar 8, 2016
Mar 8, 2016 at 12:17 AM UTC
behind the veil of depression
I'm so tired... I'm tired of sleepless nights In tired of hurting so badly I'm tired of crying every single day I'm tired of wanting to just cry I'm tired of the pain I'm tired of not saying I love you I'm tired of not sleeping next to you I'm tired of wanting to cut again I haven't in 2 years but I need a release I'm tired of wanting to drink every night I'm tired of not having you I'm so tired... It's all killing me Its all making it worse I just want it to go away I want it to stop I'm so ******* tired of the pain! Every broken piece of my heart finds a new way to break every **** day! I'm tired of it!!
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Mar 8, 2016
Mar 8, 2016 at 12:12 AM UTC
Tired
Depression hits when you least expect it You can't stop it You can't put it off Its like your personal hell It grabs a hold with a grip of death It doesn't plan on letting go It makes you think Makes you remember All the things you tried to forget forever Its like a disease Its feeling like you're nothing Useless Worthless waste of air A souless body empty shell Walking around like a zombie You can't sleep You can't eat You can't even muster a real smile Your laugh is hollow Your voice breaks You lay in bed Under your blanket Music up too loud Trying to silence your thoughts It doesn't help Nothing seems to help No one seems to understand I don't talk I don't sleep Don't know how to smile anymore I don't remember happiness
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Mar 7, 2016
Mar 7, 2016 at 9:49 PM UTC
Untitled
I want so bad to feel your lips on mine again I want to feel your lips move against mine Feel your hands pull me closer and touch my face I need it.. I need to feel your touch again I need to be wrapped in your arms when it's cold I need the random hugs from behind and the surprise kisses I wish I could feel that again
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Mar 7, 2016
Mar 7, 2016 at 8:21 PM UTC
Cravings