I had issues, dear,
I had them too.
I confronted them.
The comfort too.
I felt the issues,
I let them fall.
Calls from the future,
I took the call.
There is the part,
they won’t tell.
The part where I fell,
stood up,
stumbled,
fell.
Calls from the pain yes,
pain does not show.
You feel it right here,
In each ****** bone.
And when it crumbles,
it crumbles hard.
Believe it’s sharp,
A glass, a shard.
When the pain calls
The issues answer.
Where is she?
Who is she
now?
And does she miss me?
Issues may ask
Within those issues
we find new desires.
And let ourselves graft,
help yourself
craft
a desire to breathe,
To live,
to see.
Uncomfortable, yet
as fresh as the sea.
When the pain calls
The issues answer.
Where is she?
Who is she
now?
And does she miss me?
Issues may ask
I’m taking no calls,
that was my last.
No longer docked,
The seas are too vast.
Apr 11, 2019
Apr 11, 2019 at 2:05 PM UTC
Beautiful,
cold.
Woman’s might,
a heart of gold.
Strong grounds
Courage retained
Respect found
Boundaries obtained.
New ball game,
bounce back.
In her name,
a life hack.
Feb 2, 2019
Feb 2, 2019 at 7:23 PM UTC
What does it mean to feel anxious?
To feel a feeling,
a simple feeble feeling.
It is bigger than you know and
it's bigger than you,
you know?
What is it like to lose all rationale?
No comprehension,
a simple tiny tension
Dormant, yet always active...
on standby.
You try and take a stand but he
grabs you,
chokes you,
shrinks you,
with nothing but his hands.
Be glad not to understand, if you don't,
for Anxiety is but a cruel old man, and he won't
stop pushing,
stop unpicking,
stop telling you fake news
til you fit right into his shoes
And he says it all with conviction, he does
but he will not convict you, he can't.
So, disembody his truth,
the subordinate and inconsequential statements.
He is but an intangible being,
with no vision of the world that you are seeing,
no reliable perceptions
no means to perceive.
He is not here, not in this world, and not in your heart
and there it is; his real truth, that he attacks your heart
Since he doesn't have his own.
You're not the one with a problem,
Anxiety is.
May 7, 2018
May 7, 2018 at 8:58 AM UTC
Miniscule and tender
Not much can offend her,
not much can phase the girl
Will Peace ever try to befriend her?
Melancholic and complacent
Her bygones always adjacent
to the being that she can be.
But you can’t say where her grit went.
Strength and tenacity
Replaced with insanity?
Knows not if “it’s a part of me”
but it’s sure got authority.
Introspective and aware
Forms herself an untouched lair
Carefully crafts and moulds so
she cannot be found in there.
She digs, and she burrows,
No hope for tomorrow,
Just an empty darkness,
An empty dark sorrow.
Tight and confined,
Yet far from blind.
Suffocated and held captive
by the subconscious mind
Nothing left to lose,
a choice to choose,
The rocky road to recovery
Or a bruise, some blues, and *****
Apr 14, 2018
Apr 14, 2018 at 11:28 PM UTC
You
the gaze you wear
a gentle stare
kindness and love
All of the above
I'm yours.
You
I waited a while
for a wholesome smile
took days and years
but now you're here
I'm yours.
You
those earnest ears,
our dreams and fears
Started with harmless flirting
now? never more certain
I'm yours.
You
to start I was weary
the Past has been scary
We gave it a chance
and you make my soul dance
I'm yours.
You
two hearts that need feeding
no longer bleeding
now sing a sweet song
where they belong
I'm yours.
You
We're now planting seeds
and that's all we need
On our way
day by day
I'm yours.
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 3:35 PM UTC
I have never had power
I have had quiet
ears ringing. closed doors. locked latches. computers.televisions. a mind.
I have had loud
ears pulsing. slamming doors. broken latches. heavy breath. a body.
I have never had a voice
I have had waves of screaming. sarcastic laugh. distracted listener. belittlement.
I have never had freedom
I have had you will do this. friends aren't allowed here. keep these things quiet.
I have never had confidence
I have had hidden tortilla chips. body in mirror. seeking another. fear of eye contact.
I have never had calm
I have had lingering rage. harboring fear. persistent inadequacy.
I have never had support.
I have had pick a side. figure it out. go away. get ready. you're fine.
I have never had a self
I have had starving. ***** in showers. lack of opinion. seeking of clues. hiding. drugs. alcohol. friends who accompany my demise.
I have never had a passion for life
I have had unfamiliar bodies. missed classes. suicidal ideation. hopelessness.
I have never had healing.
I am trying to find it now.
I am.
Jul 13, 2017
Jul 13, 2017 at 7:33 PM UTC
You had the last say
but I walked away.
You will not see me
not ever again
Jun 21, 2017
Jun 21, 2017 at 9:57 PM UTC
Self awareness came.
I smiled
Conscious I’ll be fine
I smile
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 3:46 AM UTC
The past is where she
once lived.
But she has moved home
since then.
She loves every
moment;
every laugh she
feels now.
I heard she once thought,
‘You fail
to love yourself, dear.
Move home.’
So, she packed her bags.
She did.
But, left them there with
The past.
And went on to build
her dreams.
She believed and she
loved her.
It’s this that saved her
Her life
And she’s saving it
for life.
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 3:42 AM UTC