I get so happy I forget to keep my gaurd up..
And I let my mouth pour
o
u
t
the
p
a
r
t
s
of me that no one cares to hear
and when they land on deaf ears its like throwing away the only love I have left for myself and even others.. it feels like they are taking from this empty pit where my heart use to sit.
I should know these people aren't worth my dime but
I just want someone I can spend my time with
And
Not have to be afraid to forget as Im
f
a
l
l
i
n
g
Along
t
h
e
Words
S
p
i
l
l
i
n
g
out
but even without these same
feelings met,
Ill keep hoping they
will not add to my regret
Soon enough though
Ill be back to looking,
Searching for someone I can connect with so much it feels like fate
and not just another pointless date.
Someone who cares to listen and to understand that Ill only be as willing as they are
to find this thing called "love" that we hope is still real and hasnt been lost this past year.
I hope that they believe long enough just to stay and see what we can achieve.
But I know Im asking for too much..
Because
if there's
hope
why is it that all I can think of is
a chair.
and
some rope
Jan 1, 2017
Jan 1, 2017 at 4:43 AM UTC
We shouldnt have to weep in the night wishing for death
We shouldnt have to live with this unbearable weight
We shouldnt have worry about whats wrong with us
We should be able to live where our hearts work without hesitation from fear of withering in pain
We shouldnt be living in fear of wether or not we'll break down at work the next day
We should be able to sleep at night as easily as the people without depression/anxiety do...
When will we be able to wonder how we ever walked thru the fire without completely losing who we are.. will we make it that far?..
Dec 27, 2016
Dec 27, 2016 at 7:02 AM UTC
Some say that time will heal..
No.. time only dulls the pain, the reason behind it never fades.
What if when the time comes for our sins to be paid and all we have left is our wishes for a time long forgotten..
What if happiness only comes to us after death?
Dec 21, 2016
Dec 21, 2016 at 9:43 AM UTC
Sometimes the answer is so obvious we're blind to it..
Like asking a fish how the water feels...
"what water?"
Dec 20, 2016
Dec 20, 2016 at 10:18 AM UTC
Each
Word
gives
Off
a
different
Vibe
Its
Finding
The
Right
ones
That
Is
The
hard
Part
Dec 19, 2016
Dec 19, 2016 at 11:28 AM UTC
I remember the last day i seen you.
Its still etched in my memory
even tho its been a century.
Today i see you and its nothing.. maybe if you seen me a couple of days ago things would of been different but.. last night i gave up on everything completely, whats the point if at the end of the day i fall apart no matter if it was good or bad it only ends in self destruction. Sure i sound like a pessimists but i simply cant see the bright side anymore.. besides him who do i really have. No one. And im not even sure that he's really there maybe he's only here physically idk. And im terrified to find out. All this uncertainty is drowning out my voice of reason.
Dec 19, 2016
Dec 19, 2016 at 10:53 AM UTC
Ill never forget the sickening feeling i got when i watched you try to swallow a handfull of pills.. i quiet literally cried so hard it made me physically sick and everything went black with the thought of you dying... i didnt have the stregnth to stand anymore, i collapsed with the weight of your pain.. im so glad he was there to stop you, because i all i could do was scream with the air that was left in my lungs because trying to take a breath was like trying to breathe under water.. to him i am forever grateful. I dont know what it is that makes you so hateful.. everything after that seemed so... dark and hopeless. I am forever afraid, if just the thought of you not being here was enough to take the breath right out of me and make my whole world shake with destruction what am i going to do when you really do leave this world..
Dec 16, 2016
Dec 16, 2016 at 11:44 AM UTC
"We'll be home soon, so dry your eyes, we'll be okay.."
Its hard to believe youre actually gone.. i look at the world around me and its like your out there somewhere still lost.. but you've went home without me..
You were always so quick to tell us how beautiful we are and how much we meant to you.. you were always so quick to try to save us.. no one knew that you were the one who needed the saving..
Its hard to believe that your six feet under never to be seen again..
To lose a childhood friend...
Its unbearable..
Are you lonley out there, its getting too cold out side..
Im so sorry..
"I should of known the tides were getting higher"
I should of reached out and took your hand but you ran away.. too far and i just couldnt seem to reach you..
After what id heard you went through it feels like my heart has been ripped out.. id give my life to let you live.. you deserve.... deserved so much better than you accepted for yourself.
Thinking about the moment you died haunts me.. you must of been so scared.. you must of been in so much pain.. oh god.. why didnt you save him .. please... help him.. someone.. help me... i love him..
"You never said goodbye.."
Ive dreamt of you.. all i remember is that the moment i seen you i grabbed you..ive never felt so much relief from a dream.. i hugged you and didnt let go until i woke up filled with nostalgia, all i could hear was myself saying "youre okay.. oh my god, youre okay.."
And You are okay now because honestly,
Now your the prophecy.
Dec 11, 2016
Dec 11, 2016 at 9:54 PM UTC
Everyday I ask myself a question, to try and fight my depression.
Today I ask if you could, would you could go back in time?
Back in your prime?
Would you stop a crime?
Would you go back past your lifetime?
When?
What would you do?
Where and when would you travel to?
Sometimes I think too much.
Do you miss someone's soft touch?
What would you do?
Some would learn something new, start anew, or buy something brand new.
I am so sorry if I changed your point of view
Dec 9, 2016
Dec 9, 2016 at 11:36 AM UTC
My heart: "He's only going to hurt you, he doesn't love you and even if he did would you believe it? No. He only wants you for one thing and as soon as he gets bored hes gone.
My head: well i really hope that isnt true.. maybe he can help me forget what she did to me.. maybe i wont feel so worthless anymore.. but if it is true, okay, lets play this game then. I can be just as heartless as him.
Later on that night: is laying in bed heart broken and gets even more lost at sea
...its okay.. no one can find me out here.. not after so much of me has been stolen away.. you probably wouldnt even recognize me..
Dec 8, 2016
Dec 8, 2016 at 4:32 PM UTC