I remember being normal
Full of life and cheerful
Now it's a memory far-flung
Since the day you came along
Your knock made my heart beat profoundly
Not the good kind, it was unsoundly
I thought my heart was gonna explode
And I shook uncontrolled
My knees gave in and I felt heavy
It was a chilly night but I still felt sweaty
I couldn't begin to fathom what just happened
I brushed it off as an off occurrence
But who would have imagined?
It was the first of many to happen
No it's not a loved one or a friend
It's the demons inside my head
Mr. Depression and Ms. Anxiety
The demons invisible to society
Ergo my cry for help and screams of pain
Became harder to explain
You say everyone hates me
And I am to blame
Enough! Go away! Stop calling me names;
Fat,
Ugly,
Crazy,
Worthless,
You say I put my family to shame
You have made me hate own reflection
Rather than loving it, I loathe my imperfections
Can anyone hear the silent screams in my mind?
No you have made sure I tell everyone I am fine
You have ignited a fire that just burns bridges
I am concerned, I am alone, I can't keep up with this
I often want to pull the trigger ending it all
I am drained and tired, a little push and it will be curtain call
Mr. Depression and Ms. Anxiety ENOUGH? STOP! I plead for my life
I can't bare this anymore the burning is making me go blind
The darkness is ever so consuming
It's pitch black, very confusing
Some days I am Jekyll, some days I am Hyde
I have lost myself
I can no longer tell which is you and which is me
I want the normal days I remember
Where I was happy and cheerful
It has become a distant memory
I just want to be me
I beg you, I implore you, I am on my knees!
Have some mercy, LEAVE ME ALONE!
I just want to be me.
Sep 24, 2019
Sep 24, 2019 at 11:02 AM UTC
Amidst all grey, the moon peeks through
Shining a pale light, a wind fairly blue
A cigarette lit, my mind racing through
Looking for a place for my head in this world so untrue
Consumed in this darkness, the pale light is you
Saviour of mine, you are the truth
Sep 15, 2019
Sep 15, 2019 at 4:22 AM UTC
I can't explain why my heart beats lightfast
Can you hear the thumping sound? Quiet fast
When you are around
I can't explain why my knees feel weak
A giddy feeling, red are my cheeks
When you are around
Everything seems a little brighter
My soul moves to the beat of the choir
When you are around
The world conspires to perceive a feeling
For my feral heart is healing
When you are around
Sep 13, 2019
Sep 13, 2019 at 6:45 PM UTC
A boho hemmed into a perfect circle
Misunderstood and invisible
Where everyone goes right, he prefers left
The is told he is bereft
They force him to fit in
But how can he?
He is like oil in water, a hippie in suit quarters
His free spirit just won's blend in
They hammered and bent him to belong
But turns out he has been a misfit all along
For his spirit demands to be vivid and vibrant
In a rather monochrome circle, it is a tyrant
His heavy heart needs to let it all out
His thoughts, his dreams and all his doubts
His is a white noise, he seems very far out
Everyone is deaf to this boho's screams and shouts
Sep 12, 2019
Sep 12, 2019 at 2:45 PM UTC