50RR0W - Hello Poetry

Quietly I sit here in this empty space. Much like a waiting room. I wonder if I'm going at too fast of a pace. I wonder if I've caused my own doom. It has been some time since we last spoke. I know your life is hectic. Occasionally I reach out, like a poke. But I feel like it may be neglected. I wonder how you're doing, How have you been? But I know you keep on going, Not looking back on the past, the had been. I know you need your time, You need your space. Its been two years in time. I'm surprised you'd remember my face. But I hope you're doing well, It seems like you're doing fine. Just focus on yourself, I'll just watch the time...

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Jul 21, 2019

Jul 21, 2019 at 3:58 AM UTC

50RR0W

Forgiveness

Quietly I sit here in this empty space. Much like a waiting room. I wonder if I'm going at too fast of a pace. I wonder if I've caused my own doom. It has been some time since we last spoke. I know your life is hectic. Occasionally I reach out, like a poke. But I feel like it may be neglected. I wonder how you're doing, How have you been? But I know you keep on going, Not looking back on the past, the had been. I know you need your time, You need your space. Its been two years in time. I'm surprised you'd remember my face. But I hope you're doing well, It seems like you're doing fine. Just focus on yourself, I'll just watch the time...

20

I know you're out there, having fun. While I sit here still thinking about what I've done. You've already said you've forgiven me. But... that was the old me. Day by day I struggle with these changes. Trying to grow and tend to these bandages. The wounds will forever be fresh. No healing can be do to this flesh. I hope one day you can see these changes I've made. I'll be waiting here in under this tree, in the shade. While I watch the sun rise. Maybe one day.. together we can fly.. , once more.

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Jul 5, 2018

Jul 5, 2018 at 1:27 AM UTC

50RR0W

Passing Thoughts

I know you're out there, having fun. While I sit here still thinking about what I've done. You've already said you've forgiven me. But... that was the old me. Day by day I struggle with these changes. Trying to grow and tend to these bandages. The wounds will forever be fresh. No healing can be do to this flesh. I hope one day you can see these changes I've made. I'll be waiting here in under this tree, in the shade. While I watch the sun rise. Maybe one day.. together we can fly.. , once more.

12

Some times I sit here and wonder if I still exist in their mind. If I'm really there or not. Or if I'm just a ghost from a past they long want to forget, or, If I'll be remembered when they're ready to see me once more. A year approaches fast and all I can really do is smile and shrug. Do I not care anymore? Do I not love them anymore, or, Is it because I've accepted things that have come to fruition from these events? I want to think on these things but I fear I won't find answers. Well, the Answers to Questions that I am unaware of still existing. Then again, do I really want to know, or, Do I really want to forget?

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Mar 12, 2018

Mar 12, 2018 at 2:13 AM UTC

50RR0W

Or

Some times I sit here and wonder if I still exist in their mind. If I'm really there or not. Or if I'm just a ghost from a past they long want to forget, or, If I'll be remembered when they're ready to see me once more. A year approaches fast and all I can really do is smile and shrug. Do I not care anymore? Do I not love them anymore, or, Is it because I've accepted things that have come to fruition from these events? I want to think on these things but I fear I won't find answers. Well, the Answers to Questions that I am unaware of still existing. Then again, do I really want to know, or, Do I really want to forget?

15

How do I do this? How do I deal with this? What to do I take? How much do I take? These medications being shoved down my throat. "Take this! Try This! Have you done this yet?" I see all these suggestions.. But all I see is time wasted. I know what I need but I don't know how to get it. The one who holds the cure is 1000's of miles away.

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Mar 12, 2018

Mar 12, 2018 at 2:07 AM UTC

50RR0W

Drugs

How do I do this? How do I deal with this? What to do I take? How much do I take? These medications being shoved down my throat. "Take this! Try This! Have you done this yet?" I see all these suggestions.. But all I see is time wasted. I know what I need but I don't know how to get it. The one who holds the cure is 1000's of miles away.

10

What is this silence that seems to remain in place? The only thing I hear is the ringing of white noise surrounding me. Its the only thing keeping me sane. Slowly it fades away leaving complete emptiness. I close my eyes and focus on my own sounds. Breathing, Heartbeat; To keep myself in check. None of it seems to really matter anymore though. The one thing that used to keep the silence away has faded into nothingness. Leaving me with only myself to use as a weapon against it. I must remain strong. I must remain loud. I must remain.

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Dec 1, 2017

Dec 1, 2017 at 2:19 AM UTC

50RR0W

Silence/Sound

What is this silence that seems to remain in place? The only thing I hear is the ringing of white noise surrounding me. Its the only thing keeping me sane. Slowly it fades away leaving complete emptiness. I close my eyes and focus on my own sounds. Breathing, Heartbeat; To keep myself in check. None of it seems to really matter anymore though. The one thing that used to keep the silence away has faded into nothingness. Leaving me with only myself to use as a weapon against it. I must remain strong. I must remain loud. I must remain.

12

Stop it! Just stop it all! I don't want this anymore. I don't want these tainted memories! You're constantly there, even when you're not. I can't seem to escape the madness in my mind. Every time I close my eyes you're there. Grinning at me. Why do you torture me so? What have I done to deserve this?! I've done what you've asked and let you be yet here you are still plaguing me! What more do you want? I'm tired, drained and done with all of this. I just want to lay in bed at night and sleep with no issue. I just want to move on with my own life and be happy. I just want to be me again. But you're there... holding the half of me I need to be whole again.

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Nov 19, 2017

Nov 19, 2017 at 12:49 PM UTC

50RR0W

Terror

Stop it! Just stop it all! I don't want this anymore. I don't want these tainted memories! You're constantly there, even when you're not. I can't seem to escape the madness in my mind. Every time I close my eyes you're there. Grinning at me. Why do you torture me so? What have I done to deserve this?! I've done what you've asked and let you be yet here you are still plaguing me! What more do you want? I'm tired, drained and done with all of this. I just want to lay in bed at night and sleep with no issue. I just want to move on with my own life and be happy. I just want to be me again. But you're there... holding the half of me I need to be whole again.

15

Here we are yet again, Nights that never seem to end. I'm laying there wide awake. Still wondering about what mistake, I made. Part of me wishes you'd return my texts. Another wants to meet your face with my fists. The struggle between whats right and wrong is so real. I'm not sure what exactly I'm supposed to feel. Anxiety, Depression and Emotional Distress. Has all left me in such a mess. I just want to know... ..where did I go wrong?

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Oct 19, 2017

Oct 19, 2017 at 2:52 PM UTC

50RR0W

Still Fighting.

Here we are yet again, Nights that never seem to end. I'm laying there wide awake. Still wondering about what mistake, I made. Part of me wishes you'd return my texts. Another wants to meet your face with my fists. The struggle between whats right and wrong is so real. I'm not sure what exactly I'm supposed to feel. Anxiety, Depression and Emotional Distress. Has all left me in such a mess. I just want to know... ..where did I go wrong?

13

Hello my good friend, Darkness! How have you been? Me? Oh I've just been a mess. Going back there time and time again. Where you ask? Oh I'm glad you did! Its the bottom of a flask! I know I know, God forbid. I come here from time to time. Just trying to find somewhere to put my mind. It beats the pain and agony that puts me in a bind. But its a better than being left behind. Now I drink to forget the old! To make way to new and better! No this does not make me cold. But it also does not put me off kilter. Oh no, is it time for you to go?! I'm sorry that you couldn't stay long. Now don't be a stranger, you can always come say hello! Because you'll always be there if something goes wrong.

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Sep 18, 2017

Sep 18, 2017 at 1:20 AM UTC

50RR0W

Friend

Hello my good friend, Darkness! How have you been? Me? Oh I've just been a mess. Going back there time and time again. Where you ask? Oh I'm glad you did! Its the bottom of a flask! I know I know, God forbid. I come here from time to time. Just trying to find somewhere to put my mind. It beats the pain and agony that puts me in a bind. But its a better than being left behind. Now I drink to forget the old! To make way to new and better! No this does not make me cold. But it also does not put me off kilter. Oh no, is it time for you to go?! I'm sorry that you couldn't stay long. Now don't be a stranger, you can always come say hello! Because you'll always be there if something goes wrong.

20

As I stare up at the sky I have the memories we made flood to mind, The good, the bad, the ugly and all of the kind. Sometimes I wonder if you think of them too, Though, that is probably just me being a fool. The times we had together were some of the best in my life, Too bad you had to take them all under the knife. You sliced, you diced until there was nothing left. All of it seemed as if it was an act of theft. You ran and hid in a far away place, To a place where you thought you would be safe. And I honestly wish I could say this next to your face, You are nothing but a waif. I treasure all the memories I still have even though the may bring me pain, Nothing will stop my attempts in my campaign. You can run and hide all you want, But nothing can escape this taunt. I hope that you can see your foolishness and selfishness, And see that the whole thing is just a giant mess. That you'll come out of the darkness that you think is your shield, And be left in a place where you can finally be healed. The memories I have left I will always hold and cherish. And I hope that what we once had can be reestablished.

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Sep 17, 2017

Sep 17, 2017 at 2:20 AM UTC

50RR0W

Remembrance

As I stare up at the sky I have the memories we made flood to mind, The good, the bad, the ugly and all of the kind. Sometimes I wonder if you think of them too, Though, that is probably just me being a fool. The times we had together were some of the best in my life, Too bad you had to take them all under the knife. You sliced, you diced until there was nothing left. All of it seemed as if it was an act of theft. You ran and hid in a far away place, To a place where you thought you would be safe. And I honestly wish I could say this next to your face, You are nothing but a waif. I treasure all the memories I still have even though the may bring me pain, Nothing will stop my attempts in my campaign. You can run and hide all you want, But nothing can escape this taunt. I hope that you can see your foolishness and selfishness, And see that the whole thing is just a giant mess. That you'll come out of the darkness that you think is your shield, And be left in a place where you can finally be healed. The memories I have left I will always hold and cherish. And I hope that what we once had can be reestablished.

22

Hello and welcome to this fuck-fest of a show we call life! Where everything you do is held to you on the blade of a knife. But no need to worry you'll be perfectly fine! Because you're definitely here for the rest of your eternal life. But do not fret you'll be perfectly okay! Just sign here, here and here and you'll be on your way. Down the hall and on the left, Is where you'll find where you'll life will be kept.

0

Sep 17, 2017

Sep 17, 2017 at 2:13 AM UTC

50RR0W

Shelf Life

Hello and welcome to this fuck-fest of a show we call life! Where everything you do is held to you on the blade of a knife. But no need to worry you'll be perfectly fine! Because you're definitely here for the rest of your eternal life. But do not fret you'll be perfectly okay! Just sign here, here and here and you'll be on your way. Down the hall and on the left, Is where you'll find where you'll life will be kept.

8