The first time they said I was suicidal
It hurt much
Felt like a lost kid
Thought my last minutes were seconds to go
It hurt much
Tears couldn't well up
Words couldn't form
Honestly truth hurts
The first time they said I was suicidal
Already saw it coming though
The smile hid much than they could see
Cried on the silent nights
Whispered wishes to my love
Held onto the pillar he built
The first time they said I was suicidal
Felt like second to me
Plus the nights spend pleading for a new world
A world with a no-human logo
When I held a knife to my dear-chest and thought this is it....
The first time they said I was suicidal
Pinned a key on a kids head
Wasn't scared of the pain caused,
The blood shed reminded of how suicidal I was
Second after my own suicide thoughts
The first time they said I was suicidal....
Wasn't that big of word
Wasn't that small of expression
Took the blame
What if I cut my ankle twice just to see red?
What if the smile means keep off?
What if I was really suicidal?
The first time I was suicidal....
I wasn't suicidal
If we could find the 'blame'
Only if we could, then anger would it be?
@taytay
Oct 1, 2020
Oct 1, 2020 at 4:24 PM UTC
Everyone I love goes away,
What I have become,
My sweetest dead rose in the midst of a flower season,
Blending in- mixture of confusion,
Real ones ain't of first sights,
Fake ones.. Their smiles coat it all,
In this black hole without ending,
You trip and only till you drawn,
Cause everyone you love goes,
Always tripping on the dark side of life,
It's all sugar coated fake
Nov 23, 2018
Nov 23, 2018 at 7:24 AM UTC
Education has changed her,
After all it's its aim to anyone
Or everyone,
Instead of the castle she needs,
a penthouse is build in her,
Education has given her a degree,
Instead she needs an exploit,
Exploit of talent or a different path...
She wants to live a different life,
Still education doesn't allow,
Education has changed her,
In a positive way to people's ego,
Though negative to her universe,
They say learning builds you,
Or what is done today determines tomorrow,
She doesn't wanna be,
The she she is today...
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 2:30 AM UTC
You know that you're falling,
When your breathe becomes hectic,
Or the blood that flows through you....
Doesn't appreciate it's path,
When your heart breaks it's record
Rejecting the science laws,
You know that you're hitting a rock,
When you fall you in love deeply,
En' you're scared of letting go,
But when falling you don't see it,
People's words become useless,
En' when you fall,
You know that you knew it before.
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 2:23 AM UTC
Do you miss me like I do?
Do you cry at the thought of those days?
Do you regret having met me?
Does it hurt when one mentions my name?
I'm told you're not worth tears,
But how do I stop them
It's so strange how someone mends a shattered heart,
Breaks it again, like its nothing,
Someone you knew so much,
Becomes a stranger to you,
The most painful part is...
How do I tell my friends that you left,
Without reason,
How do I stop missing my past,
When trust was not an issue,
Cause I'm scared of crashing again,
I'm scared of meeting new people,
I'm scared of moving on,
The past feels better than my future,
But I can't blame anyone
When I gave the chance,
Oct 18, 2018
Oct 18, 2018 at 12:45 PM UTC
They say in my generation,
A Bob is worth popularity,
Worth a bride or groom,
Worth two kids and lots of trips,
They say in my generation,
Jail is not a word....
In a rich mans tongue,
But how?
How couldn't I see that you found my money,
How couldn't I see...
Money can't buy joy but heartbreaks,
I've never thought of my signature,
On a divorce script,
Let's blame fate though,
Cause karma is a *****
Gain in sunrise, lose on sunset,
Though I promised heaven,
Hell exists too,
They say whats meant for you,
Will always find its way back,
I'm done waiting too,
This is my heartfelt final note,
Before the divorce sign off...
Oct 7, 2018
Oct 7, 2018 at 2:20 AM UTC
When I say I'm rich,
I don't have to have a coin on me,
When I say that I drive,
Doesn't mean I got a car on me,
But when I say I own property...
Don't find for 'mine' house,
Don't look at my clothes and laugh,
Or my unleashed talents,
Neither my wishes that swing on that shooting star,
So why can't you look into me,
Smile and admire,
In that standard working ego,
See...
No one gets into a sleepless mourny night,
Wakes up and scowls to the sun,
So I'll look richer in my broke days,
Cause depression is some hidden ninja,
Only you can see!
Oct 7, 2018
Oct 7, 2018 at 2:12 AM UTC
I don't understand why....
I keep waiting for you,
I keep staring for a call,
On the usual sidewalk,
At least your glimpse,
It keeps bruising me,
But I can't refrain,
I can't!
I hope for some small talk,
I hope for honesty,
I hope and hope and still hope
And keep hoping till I bleed,
I still don't get it....
Sep 25, 2018
Sep 25, 2018 at 3:57 AM UTC
I've always sought love,
I've always thought of it as....
Castles in good nights dreams,
Birds fly in a chill weather,
Or some poem to spill my emotions,
So I sought like never,
After all I'm Hunter,
But now I'm staring into loves eyes,
Before me is a puzzle I can't solve,
One I've always dreamt of,
I'm dying inside,
Buh I can't read her mind,
So I spill the grains,
A risk worth it.,
Sep 17, 2018
Sep 17, 2018 at 1:05 AM UTC
It's there but we can't notice it,
Eating up solidary minds,
Ain't empty...
Though full of answers,
Makes feel alone even in a crowd,
People call him "nerd",
Though they know it.....
Speech is silver,
Silence is golden,
Makes feel the untouchable,
He smiles but screams his soul out,
Determination,power, ambitions, courage,
Live in the grave of words to him,
So he's writing out silence,
Cause words from from the heart are hard,
But from the soul are harder,
Silence feels like the right mask,
Always golden!
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 4:35 PM UTC