In this bed I sit
Looking at the vast amount of sheets where
You should be.

In this bed I fit
Feeling small and lonely in a space fit for
Three of me.

My mattress has several dips,
Perfect for your hips,
As you hold me and I hold you.
Together, us, through and through.

I do not need you to
Grind against me
Or whisper dirty words.

Instead I want you to hold me
Feel me with your hands
And of those depressing thoughts
Purge.

Kiss me tenderly,
Kiss me softly,
Kiss me like no one else has before.

Look in my eyes and
Tell me there’s no fear
For tomorrow, next week
Or for the coming year.

My mind is blank
and all the thoughts rush in:
Hold me tightly
Never let go
Don’t let it pass,
Don’t let it go.

Instead of you here
or me there,
you are there
and I am here.

From there you cannot
Hold my face
Kiss my eyelids or
Tangle our legs together
as we sleep.

From here I cannot
Play with your hair
Feel your dimple as you smile
(that beautiful, wonderful smile)
or touch my lips to your tattoo
as I whisper its meaning
And kiss your soul.

But I from here
And you from there

Can think of
The things we want most
And tell each other
Of our thoughts

Though we are desperate
To touch, to feel,
To love
And want no more than
a simple
goodnight kiss.

You sit in your bed
And see me far away
Wishing I was there.

You sit in your bed
And wish it all were real,
And at that empty space you stare.

And at this moment
We both think,
“You belong in my bed.”

Just because my two hands are rough
Does not mean I long less to touch.
The thought of the feel of skin on skin
White hot at merely the thought of sin.
Bless our souls and hope to go through
The pure white gates, just me and you.
As we stifle a giggle, laughter within
And uncontrollable lust akin,
I hope so much the keeper does not see
This heavy darkness within me.
The weight of sin may keep me away
From the things I wish to keep,
But I will do what it takes to stay
So that you never have to weep.

O how I yearn to break
The barrier between us
To feel feelings so true
Those so real, those so just.

If I could...
I would have the

long
looong
looooong

s
k
i
n
n
y

legs of a model,

A TINY

   tiny

     t

   iny

WAIST,

beautiful hands

(to wear those byooooootiful RINGS),

and flowy, wavvvvvy locks.

I could wear any sunglasses I wanted

(not just the ones with nose pads)

And still look modest in shorts.

I could be a bit taller,

taller than this

FIVE

FOOT

FRAME

and still look good

in peeptoe

l o
u  bo
u    ti
n     sssss.

I would have glowing

smoooooooooooth skin.

BUT

Despite

wishingwishingwishing

for the perfect body

I still love my

palm-sized lumps,

my blemished spotted uneven skin,

my thick thighs,

and my ugly hands.

At least I can wear high heels

to make me

TALLER.

Comforts of the sheets
Lights through the window stream in
I don't want to wake

Every setting sun
Always leaves me wanting more
Each day without fail

Before I was born
Watching over us, living
You are beautiful

Silently watching
Observing their quick actions
Sitting, watching, hope

Never letting go
Or so you may like to think
Stay in this moment

Memories of youth
Fade fast, die fast, can't look back
Wish to remember

Breathe in and breathe out.
Just be calm and don't look back.
Just be confident.

I have implored them,
"Please stay seated. Wait a while."
Stubborn compliance.

I know you're anxious
To walk out, to leave, be free.
A moment longer....

"Why does it get dark?"
"The Hand of God takes the sun.
Sleep well now, my child."

"The sun is still up.
Why would you need a light now?"
"Wait 'til the sun sets...."

Each beat of my heart
courses all your love
  into my blood. (Blood.)

And with every blink,
I send you a kiss.
  Can... can you feel them?

I find a faint scent
reminds me of you...
  happens to you too?

A reciprocal;
yours to my being.
  You make me feel whole.

Each day how I long
to hear you whisper
  a simple, "hello..."

Those

who have used his gift

see they must give

          Him what we want

to yield the trip

most near

the blue above

In my own skin,
I fit like a glove.
In my own skin,
I look as I always have.
In my own skin,
I look in the mirror
And see someone unfamiliar.

I slip into my skin,
And it irritates my entire being.
I slip into my skin,
And I feel like I’m sinking.
I slip into my skin,
And for so long I wriggle
In order to lessen the struggle.

I move in my skin,
And the material chafes all over.
I move in my skin,
And the resistance grows stronger.
I move in my skin,
And it doesn’t seem changed at all
To those who don’t look and never see me fall.

In my own skin,
I fit like a glove.
In my own skin,
I look as I always have.
In my own skin,
I’m screaming for my life,
and no one’s here to listen.

He is nothing.

No more shall he be my beloved,

No more shall he control my actions.

Stop.

He is no longer my anything.

He shall now be only a regret,

In turn for a memory.

Let go.

He is nothing.

Days spent remembering,

Now were spent in vain.

For the memories have now gone,

In return for something sweet.

Regret turns to remorse,

then anger and hate.

Revenge I first see

In the eyes of this man.

He is nothing.

No more to me.

No more to any one.

He is nothing.

Nothing.

Him.

Time is running out
Pressure starts to build up and
Things begin to change

So inconvenient
To have so much going on
Oh, what have I done?

“Darling, it’s crunch time
Please excuse my attitude
Times are getting rough

Don’t take it that way
You know that it’s for the best
Please don’t hate me”

I stopped wanting you
Don’t have the heart to say it
You’re just like the rest

Things don’t change for me
I’m just not that person now
“Don’t say you’re sorry”

That you scream at me
I can not understand why
You’d hurt me like that

Time flies by, we change
But at least I think we do
I have, anyway

You’re disappointed
I’ll look back and remember
You almost loved me