I cannot express how wonderful it feels
For the first time in so long
I sit down to write a poem
In which your name does not belong

Finally
Somebody else
Drifts in and out of my thoughts each day
I didn't know it was possible
Although your face is still here to stay

I don't even remember what it is like
To daydream of someone other than you
You've occupied my brain so many years
It feels strange to make room for him too

I wish he could replace you
Instead of only serve as a distraction
Though to him I am drawn
For you doesn't waver my attraction

It seems no feelings will ever be strong enough
To stomp out the ones you left in my heart
But that I have them for anyone else in the first place
In and of itself is a pretty good start

Before I couldn't even look at another
Without my stomach turning sick
Now I am hanging out with someone new
Used my Polaroid camera to take a pic

You may have moved on faster
But I am slowly losing the fear
That I will never fall in love again
Though it'll never be like when you were here

I have accepted I will never be as happy again
As I was when I was with you
But I don't need to duplicate those emotions
Not-quite-as-happy will certainly do

I admit that the first time he kissed me
"He's not as good as you"
Repeated in my head
But now I realize that you are not better
I was just craving familiar instead

After spending so much of our lives together
I don't know how to be with anyone else
But I know comparing everything
To the past can't possibly help

I understand you could never be replaced
Unconditional love for you I hold in my soul
I am not searching for my new soulmate
Finding someone who makes me smile is my goal

There may never come a day
Where he has as much of me as you
But I don't need him to travel to my depths
Only to give me an equal piece too

You never let your walls down for me
Though I bared my most vulnerable parts inside
I don't care if he tells me all his secrets
As long as he shows some sections he hides

And is willing to chisel away the armor
Your mistakes have left around my skin
I don't expect him to understand me
But you wouldn't even begin

So many memories we've shared
Things we've done
Places we went
Now I have to start all over
But that time was still well spent

I don't think he will ever coax out
The level of ecstasy you did with your fingers
But his hands give me butterflies
And a chill that lingers

When you walked out the door you took my hope
Left me with an inability to feel
But it has returned along with the sense
Wounds you inflicted will someday heal

If I am patient in the future I'll awaken
With his name on my mind first
And find comfort knowing that even if he breaks my heart
You've already put me through the worst

it's always the people that bring the most joy upon others
that are hurting the worst

For all the 2020s
you're by far
the 20 of the twentiest

What After the rain falls down ?

When everyone leaves your town ?

What After all lights burned out?

When you can't stand loud

What After you dreams come true ?

When no one is in your crew .

What after ........

When no one's there to call

Waiting loan at hall .

What After you reach the edge ?

Now no one is in your maze .

Its end to your fame,

Now there's no one who knows your name

No one is with you

Cause you leave everyone who's true.

You spend your life in lies

For sake of your coat and ties

You can't return to the them

Nor to your memory's frame

So , what After..........?