Dad always said you're either a MOD or a Rocker
Well after a few years of choosing I decided on the clobber
Pin stripe suit and a nice comfy parka
Not some grease monkey, slicked back hair, who looked like he'd not seen a bath yet
I preferred the music, the beat, the soul
They liked grit, the grind and the ***** rock and roll
And then came the final choice in which world you did bounce
Vespa, Lambretta or a Triumph in a way to announce
So did I look the hard nut sat on my BSA?
I'd rather look like Mr Cool, thinking I'm Ace Face today
Trip's down to Brighton for a fight on the beach
Before having our breakfast at an all you can eat
Those were the days where you could really have a laugh
Then a trip back home, best have my tea and an early bath
Stick on an album by The Faces or The Who
And up early for work, into town via Clapham then Waterloo
When nothing too much mattered and the world seemed easy
RAF target on my back, nice shiny shoes, that's how you'll see me.

JJB

Caring for the caring is a trait we should all be sharing
Be it a hug
A kiss
Or just a friendly pint for the craic
Their are some who have none and prey to have those back
This pandemic has hit the world hard
Dealt a costly hand to the weak and those in fear
But some have been angels who share a story with a friendly tear
So think of the few,
The help,
That lifeline belt
Who spoke those words that made you smile
For those are the ones who helped you fight on
And just take that extra mile

JJB

#Covid-19
#pandemic

200 million years since the last lot were here
AD,BC, not applicable
No religeon to now fear
For Earth has been through its toughest of showers
From the cosmos to the ice frosts
It slowly rebuilds its supernatural powers
As life as we once knew it
Steadily grows again from the ground
A third phenomenon now raises its heartbeaten head
To see what planet is left to be compound
What God of universal proportion could make this reoccur
Are they bored in their place of work
Twiddling their thumbs
Calculating their sums
Prodding with a fork, ideas of whats next, but mainly smalltalk
But something is now slowly growing
A breed to outdo the previous they had sewing
Life as they know it has a fresh new face
Something truly phenominal
To inherit this Earth and put life back in its place
Until that day
We continue to **** this planet of everything it has
Down to its very last natural fibre
From its oil and its wind and down to the sea
A home of now I could not, unfortunately, describe her

JJB

There is me
The Copper/The Nurse/The Firefighter/The man in black who drives that humble hurse
There is also me
The Mother/The Father/The Sister/The Brother/The off the clock non-decision maker
I'm paid to care
I'm afraid to even dare
You love me when I'm working
You see me hiding if not lurking
Always up the craic when on the beat
Always hiding away and crossing the street
For I am as two faced as you can get
So don't put your life in my hands or its something you might regret.

JJB

Bridges are a rule of life
As we cross one everyday
Most of them are invisible
Some subtle
But stepped over without having to pay
They link us
They heard us
Moving us all in different ways
Then some are left broken
A day we left unspoken
Kindred in leaving it at bay
Some still have a troll sat waiting to pounce
A discrepancy
Some monstrosity
That carries a debt weighing more than an ounce
Yet most have a stream that gently runs beneath
No burden
No guilt
Just a subtle flow, falling like a browned autumn leaf 🍂

JJB

I roll into the shower and feel the heat
The hot water on my head, my shoulders, my soul, but not my feet
Then I close my eyes and wish this forever as my sleep.....


SMASH!

I look around and my baby has tipped over my catheters
Well she has only just turned one, God bless her
How could I wish for a life away,
When I now have her forever in my days

JJB

What is judged on those who live days so pure
Who lay awake wondering on life
If doing good now leads to a heavenly door
I might stop swearing
I might take more care
I might imagine a life not bearing
I might
I won't
I wouldn't dare
For those who abstain from the rough
The cautious
The caring
The rare
Are an animal of which there are few
And a life I couldn't bare

The Pure

JJB

Reassigned
Renamed
Revolving still in the same way
Where night is still night and day is still day
I am now seen as a lower grade of pay
For once I stood big but now I am small
From the heights of a man
Oh, how the mighty do fall
Words cannot describe such change in life
You adapt
Quick wit
As sharp as a knife
I like to keep in and be that one-man show
Yes, I am still that guy, that guy you all know
Just watch me change, adapt, succumb
For I am that evolving planet,
I am Pluto.


JJB

In this world we all have a double
It's you with a growth of designer stubble
Only 2 foot shorter like Barney Rubble
Strutting the scene with a jive and a walk
But unlike you they've got the talk
And being a sworn religeon they wouldnt eat no pork
Do they have the same luck in life like me, I've had none
Or did they take a different path and become a priest or a nun
Maybe they might have robbed a bank and are still on the run
Who knows what we might have done in a time of another
A new life as an imposter acting as twin sister or twin brother
Or always acting as a fraud as life is just a cover
Your double could be the kindest soul but of that we'll never know
Just the luck of the dice in life we throw I suppose
Yet they could just be the rhyming reverse off this,
Not like you,
your double, trouble

JJB

Coldish
Tepid
Slightly warmer than the fridge
Drinking from the garden tap back when we were kids
Can't have been much fun to have gained this world renowned name
For running my hand underneath the tap and pronouncing it all same
Don't touch my flannel and then onto face
Think you'd better call a plumber out if this is always the case
For its not quite hot
And it's not exactly cold
It's that kid who never done what he was told
Unenthusiastic
Indifferent
Slightly heated,
Just the way he was born
Warm
Luke Warm

JJB

I ain't no runaway from some American bank job
Nor no fisherman famous for his cod
Caught in his Cornish trawler with just nets and no rod
Rumour was I had I'd slept with over a thousand little birds
All making me breakfast in the morning with a slice of lemon curd
But seriously man, I'm just some gimp who's always been a nerd
From books of Harry Potter to even Where's Wally?
A shop for one in Tesco with a half filled trolley
Quick dash to the car on my own, such rain without my brolly
I'm happy living on my own without all your baggage
Holiday for one, a lighter plane to fill, without your **** luggage
With such weight lost, no cakes or thrills, soup just made of cabbage
Tuning my senses for a day without your pain
Its a hard long slog of which we have to sadly retrain
But a belonging I must one day regain
#JustMe

JJB

So you want to look like a celeb?
Your teeth so bright but not into debt?
Well scrape back the enamal and watch what they can do
For a round trip to Turkey is the quick fix for you,
Waltzing the streets looking like the next Rylan
Still wearing the cheap snides and the push-bike you ride on,
As they scrape back your natural front covers
Stuck on caps to look like the perfect lover
But pre-warned by your annoying sensible brother,
And now it's starting to show its disorder.
No dentist will touch you with what you have left
That money you blew to just look like the best
Now rotton and hanging by a thread,
From that modern shiny smile that could hail down a cab
To looking like you've never had it so bad,
Be careful what you wish for and to mix with rest
Just don't consider anymore, from your eyes down to your breast.
You're beautiful just the way you are
Just get the dentist to scrape that bit off,
I think its a bit of rotton tar!

Turkey Teeth

JJB

No reaction, just a ripple of shudder
Nearly 30 years, could of done less for ******
Maybe paper, a pen and then just write to her
As a guy once said, its now dead in the water

Remember those days when I finally caught her
Hearing old songs as Waterloo Sunset and Paperback Writer
Now worlds apart with no connection to light here
As I dwell with thoughts just sipping my can of cold beer

Time is an unseen evil in disguise
Falling in love then can't wait for goodbyes
I honestly thought she was the one and I'd finally caught her
But, in the end, she trickles away
Just like punching water.

JJB

A thousand thoughts before my head hits the sack
Nothing can be changed
No going back
From what happened today all odd
To dissecting it in the land of nod
But if this is going to be my last dream
Then let me live it and feel what I did mean
To that private island somewhere in the Seychelles
Then living like the devil in a world of what the Hell
Sat on a bench about to kiss the girl of my dreams
Now watching the football with my one and only team
This is the way I would like to go,
no disease,
no cancer,
no cure,
no bore,
with that, goodnight, I love you, that being my final bow.

JJB

I saw a tiredness in her face
Years of gossip
Some snide remarks
But a laugh I could not replace
What goes on
What went on
Is a tale she'll always know
If not subject to social smear
Just ask her (for) blow by blow
But don't get me wrong as she is a light not to diminish
She'd buy you a drink
Shot by shot
Under the table til the craic is all but finished
Not to leave a story unaccounted and two ends left unturned
She'd make something up on the spot
Even if future scorns and leaves her slightly burnt
For the word on the street is her everlong racing beat
What happened and where was her everyday scare
And for bones that unwrapped and to be laid bare
Had taken its toll on her face that now shows its tears

Tired

JJB

Try and try and try again
They will never be your partner
They will never be your friend
Could be making millions
If followed the ongoing trend
Sunning off the coast with champagne and a toast
Surrounded by fools who turn up for any personal boast
As you will always be my friend whose lessons I have learnt
Just thrown to the passing crowd for I always do,
Watch them all fritter,
Tastleless,
Ruthless,
Bitter,

Crash and Burn

JJB

I ain't no looker but I'll always give it a go
Had the odd ****** with some they'd call a ***
Been dealt the ugly stick with my face blow by blow
I'll leave the ugly ones alone and not stoop so low
Talking at a pub, a bistro, a bar
I'd try the poshest, the fittest, the ra-ra-ra
The ones who'd say no just waiting for a ya-ya-ya
For the honeys with the money and the Eva Herzigova Wonderbra
But I'd scan the room and those numbers I'd be crunching
As the morning comes and a breakfast I'd be munching
No complaints as the taxi they'd be funding
As I always went above my weight in a fight I'd always be punching
Now I'm not saying this to be 100% true
A bit like Rita, Sue and Bob too
But I would always see the job right through
As once I even ended up with not one but two
Now as the world seems to live on a hotbed of lies
The majority just laughed and said their goodbyes
When some just gave in with a yes and a sigh
Because Lord only knows he loves a man who does try,

Punching
👊🏼

JJB

We like to share but some times too much,
On where we went,
What we spent,
Or a flat to live with slightly cheaper rent,
But sharing is caring you say so lets just carry on...

We love your guile, your championing and thrills,
But sometimes its just overspill,
I believe the actual word is overkill,
So please just finish up and pay the ******* bill.

Yes its funny that you dressed as a dinosaur to complete some race,
And the next you dressed as a man with a tache on your face,
Is there nothing you won't do or lovingly embrace?
Except tell the whole wide world and give it a daily break.

But you don't hear a tune that is a never ending song,
So please just stop as it goes on too long,
We love what you do as of which there is nothing wrong...

Some think that it is pleasure and slightly sadistic,
And tomorrows post will be similar as we all predicted,
Because you are what you are,
a new phase of need gulping that new food of feed,
You are whats now known as,

Socially Addicted.

JJB

The wife says its Friday so work is dress down cool
But sat on the sofa everyday
Nobody wants this fool
I'm not annoyed so much as slightly bitter
Grades up until my eyeballs
Unfortunately you just don't fit here
Was it the interview and my calm, over rehearsed, relaxed speech
Or plainly just the wheelchair
Those heights I just cannot reach
So kneel down beside me to hear my lost crude witsome banter
You should try it on stage mate
What is it, a beer or just a Fanta?
As maybe I wasn't cut out for the suit and to dress everyday tall
This is what I am now,
Different, cut to size, and to some, a little bit special
I know I will never get used to being six feet five to WHAM,
Four foot and ******
But that is life
Some you miss, some you see,
and some times you were lucky to have just ducked.

JJB

Draining away without a thought in the world
Sat on Standby in a constant power surge swirl
Without it our devices would all unfurl
Back to their start date and the way they were first made
Flashing the time reset before hieroglyphics in our caves
Imagine this everyday and the time we now save
But that unthought power reliance still costs us a few quid
A yearly debit sometimes close to the lid
But let’s be realistic, it’s a need we cannot rid
For a warming cable at night keeps every house right
Until the alarm goes a bing, and the bedroom light is bright
It’s a cost we will devour as it’s not worth the penny pinch fight
But if you want to have the will and the energy to lower
Then you my friend live in a state I cannot devour
For I will let them **** and slurp overnight on my lazy need,
As they are the phantoms suckers of our power.

JJB

We all undo and ***** into a pool or some kind of meaningless puddle
Where our thought escape, linger and dwell
When sometimes all we needed was a good cuddle
Starting at the end of a ready burst bubble
It shatters, it explodes into small catch-less pieces
Just what did it hold to make it suffer
That made it implode into a time with no buffer
And disapper like the Central Park guy, Gunther
We all have our thoughts of what comes next
All these Instagrams to share and get off our chests
Before they become non-fashioned in a time of manifest
Thinking of a money spinner to make our dreams come true
What could, what would and the Ikea enigma of mahogany or tained blue
Life throws us under a bus whether MENSA or just plaim dumb
Whatever way you look at it its always the same
Life is a conundrum

JJB

A two for one bargain but is it really worth buying?
Let me have a think, yes, I am England
His new girlfriend seems nice but I prefered his exe's likes
Let me ponder this change, as, I am England
His greatest goal he ever scored but in a one all draw
This can't be the case, hmm, I am England
Our men once ruled the waves but now dwell in their mancaves
Again, sadly, I am England
We once told our jokes and the birds to grab their coats
Now not a whimper, we can't offend, I am England
Saturday on the terrace, baying for blood, to the opposing crowd
Now, keep it down, not so loud, I am England
With a backbone and more front than Brighton Beach
You can't say that, it's out of our reach, I am England
How times have changed, from the sensitive to the utterly deranged
The lefts have taken the rites, yes, I am England
Comedy was a laugh but now is an early bath
Citizan Khan to Mrs Brown, God, please mend this, I am England
We once soured like an eagle, now a drip like treacle
No losers just a runner up, this has to stop, I am sadly England
A photo taken of nearly every meal eaten out
I'm starting to think we all live in doubt, I am England
Yet you cannot say a thing incase of somehow offending
Again, hate this to say, I, my friend, I am long lost England.

JJB

Growing up we only had fizzy pop whilst chasing busy bee's
How times have changed from bike shed kissing and climbing trees
When Pac-Man was fun and kirby was free
And dads car seatbelt was just an obscurity
Panini stickers at school were all the rage
Even Spurs were good sung on by Chas and Dave
Mum collecting the Texaco vouchers with just ten more left to save
Your big sister all dolled up and heading for a rave
But times move on and in a cinch weve changed for worse or better
We tut at the simplist of things whilst choosing brie or feta
Labelled as the primest of souls with a tendancy of 'oh just let her'
Sat in the mall with 2 screaming kids and Bernie her Red Setter
Fourteen years old and already knowing a Latte from a Cappacino
I was sat in my room, not a penny to spend, happy with my Beano
How times move on, straight past our eyes, it's just how life goes
A kid on a swing, always pondering things, on how the wind blows
It'll circle again, this life with new friends
To some other wandering kid, always starting a new trend
And off it goes again.....

Life

JJB

Split!
Now I aint talking bananas
I'm relating to the time that the Yanks just ended it
Not of Gods nature to mess around like this
Scientists should look for all cures
Not dabble in the extreme whilst taking the p*
It's not an episode we want to ever see again
The spread of its explosion
Of which still leaves some in pain
No megalomaniac could start again with Eve followed by Adam
Unless they went utterly delirious,
Yes,
Up and Atom!

JJB

Those automatic doors slide aside
A nod from the cashier sat reading a TV Guide
You don't want food but it's always worth a look
Ten glass doors of refrigerated crap
Might have a bite and forget that diet book
From a Ginsters cheese and onion slice
To a Scotch egg with Coke, I wouldn't think twice
Still forty five miles from wife and my home
This'll plug that gap, from some microwave dinner and her everyday moan
A quick glance at the mags including Readers Wives and the over Sixty Fours
Hell, why look up there, that's what the mobile phones are for
So sat in my Volvo XC90 in the car park just stuffing my face
We've all done it knowing its a selfish disgrace
That secret pre eating of food which we all really and truly embrace
And of the self rightous it would really really annoy
But you only live once,
you naughty naughty boy.

Garage Food

JJB

Waking up and checking the battery on your unplugged phone
(why did I check Facebook at 3am and not plug it back in?)
74%
The start of any relationship at blistering pace then the brakes apply
(It happens to us all and we don't know why)
74%
That dream holiday, the arrival, the meet the people, the leaving to head home as youve just had enough now
(With the bragging that just ends up in a row)
74%
Discovering new shortcuts on that upgraded mobile phone, I'll never get bored of this!
(A month now gone and someting better already on the list)
74%
Augusts new car off the line and youre proud to say its yours
(January hits and its now become a bore)
74%
Netflix has a new hit and its grabbed the worlds attention
(It's now series six and its falling to bits and needs a formal suspension)
74%

We all seem to plod on at this number on a daily basis, and it does us all well.
You don't need to be one hundred percent all the time, or we'd all just mope and dwell.
So raise a smile when needed, and speak to those who sometimes need it.
For life is too short to for hang ups and woes, it's just led how you see fit.

JJB

Two words that I'd longed to hear
A death of which had no cheer
That hero of many a long year
Where Mos Eisley pirates would begrudgingly raise a beer
For once a crazy man who had no fear

And as he spoke those words to his son Kylo Ren
He knew he had regained his trust
His one and only Ben......

Hey Kid

JJB

Wasn't life simpler before the Internet
That Sunday phonecall to the parents
And a stroll to the bookies for a bet
Catch up on a Friday in the pub or local bar
Have a laugh and a chat with mates about,
The footy, the birds, their next best car
And always the one who will tell the odd little lie
About the women he's had and flings he's spun
But reality is sat in Fleet services eating a pork pie
Holidays on Teletext with the Algarve at 99 pound
Flicking through to the exchange rate quickly
Right, let's book, who's looking after the hound?
Kids had Short Circuit who could read a book in seconds and say Johnny 5 alive
Such a cumbersome machine on tank like tracks
But on this we all did thrive
When affairs were conducted in phone boxes and coffee shops
Where no one carried a camera to grass you up
And then the husband finds out to bang down the door,
Never mind, KNOCK KNOCK!
If they're simpler times now, then on your head be it
But give me that 20 minute load up cassette games, and the choke on my Punto FIAT
For I loved simpler times,
That's just the way that I see it.

JJB

I've become so stressed
Every little thing,
from what dress to a salad with cress?
I have forgotton what makes me even tick
What makes me smile,
from words on the crossword to my morning sick
And from my tick onto my tock
What still fits ,
What do I wear from my joggers to a frock
To calculate my brain from maths to a sudoku sum,
these used to be so easy
Jeez, what have I become?
My legs just keep kicking and are now so restless
A kick now inside out,
this babys just wants h** final exit
Still months to go but getting all so bigger
Every day some more weight on,
I cannot wait for its final ****** trigger!

JJB

No date no time
Just in these arms of mine
Nothing could prepare you
That tea your final brew
No last words
It would have been somethimg absurd
Obviously to just make you laugh
Thundercats on TV with that ginger brat Snarf
A cartoon to throw me back to my youth
Oasis on the wireless with aint that the truth
Those final tears as we cuddle and regretfully cried
A day never to be relived again
The day I died

JJB

Thats nice
Oh, I like that
It'll look good on the shelf
Now stuck in that drawer, gathering ill heath
The football programmes
The bottles of bleach from the Tenerife sun-tan
The school nativity play from your neighbour Stan
All shoved in the closet
With the receipt for the apartment deposit
Gathering dust for that day that you want it
Forgotten in the turns of time
Like that vinegar once bought decayed in brine
Stuck in the cupboard behind the lemon and lime
We look at it and always sadly mutter
I love it
I'll use it one day
This endless debris of useless, worthless, selfless,

Clutter

Restraints, complaints, lifes been on the taint
Thrown us into a world we'd all never known
Lockdowns and get downs but not to no jazzy funk
A life we've all unwantingly been thrown
Whats right
Whats wrong
We didnt think it would last this long
Still covering our face from the deadliest of bugs
The nay sayers
The everyday prayers
The fools on life support who just didnt care
Anxiety attacks
The toughest of men who normally have your back
Just break down when their world immedietely turns black
There is a light though in from this 2020 tunnel
As we grab it to the ground and hit back with a pummel
Suffocate it in a headlock and **** it as it stumbles
For we are better than some poxy Chinese manmade curse
We'll watch it die and lend it no nurse
As we are stronger than this and not here just as a rehearse.

Better Than This.

JJB

A cupboard full of cups all of which are assorted
Some you like
Some you loathe
Some should just be aborted
Now I can't throw that away as it's not mine to drink
A present, a holiday place when at the time you didnt think
That football you team you despise but your partner just loves
Or their unicorn standing tall releasing turtle doves (come on)
But you frown and leave them to be
Pushed to the back so that no one can actually see
You pick the same 4 mugs on a daily basis
One for tea, one for lunch and your favourite, your secret
Its a sad state of affairs when you have your priorities
Which is best for a cup-a-soup over your mug of tea
But I think this is what makes us a total breed apart
We stop
We think
We look in the sink
As a cup of tea is the only way to start.

JJB

I'm ******* at saying goodbyes
I'm ******* at using chopstix to catch fireflies
I'm ******* at emotions when I just sit and sigh
I'm ******* at love when all I do is cry
I'm ******* at my job when I just sit and daydream
I'm ******* as fishing when I want a whopper only ending up with a minnow or a small bream
I'm ******* at film endings when all is not what it seems
I'm ******* at most things,
but that's what makes life wonderful,
topped with a bit of squirty cream!

******* is just normal, trust me.

JJB

Nobody is ill
Nobody has died
Nobody has spoken of bad

But something is missing

Something just isn't right
Something is wondering tonight
Something is hovering like a kite

In that gut reaction

Pulling at you like traction
Pulling apart those mathematical fractions
Pulling at those grey cells for a little sanction

But there its sat lingering

Just toying and tinkering
Just hanging on out of the sinking
Just leaving you lost and still wondering

That horrible feeling

JJB