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lover Apr 27
I’d love to sleep in her arms
To understand why I leave you there
I bet she doesn’t shy away from phone calls
I sit in the waiting room clenching my teeth
You are in the other corner tapping your feet
No one calls us to bridge the gap that told us we where incomplete
Or dying
they always made us wonder why we weren’t good enough
To be together, obsolete
I know you see it for what it means


It’s daytime in the waiting room and it’s quieter than the screams you’re used to
I wish someone held your hand as you took your first steps
When everyone told you you was weak
I believed you were strong


You’re a mirror I talk to when I want to know me
I ask you to tell them about it if it’s bothering you that much
But your meaning defines your deceit
I don’t blame you for using a fake surname or using a lie to come to terms with the politics of loving no one

I like to think that you govern my emotions
Because there is a party here you’d like to lie about attending
One with a genuine pretence for the future
A bit like our prime minister

She’s wearing a mask just to protect herself from spending time in hospital
It pays well
She knows those floors and walls as well as I do
I was a patient there, she ran the ward
She took my blood and placed it in a tube
I waited to see if it could tell them how much I loved you
It couldn’t
So I didn’t say anything

You make me feel like I could handle a pandemic
You also make me feel sick
  Mar 2021 lover
Victoria Jennings
What do you do

When a man loves you

With his entire soul

And you

You just don't think you can

But you want to

You want to out of ease

You want to so that he'll be happy

You want to love him

The way he loves you

Because you know

Exactly what it's like to not be loved back
  Feb 2021 lover
Max
She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."
What's the difference?
lover Feb 2021
curl up into a ball but don’t cry
wear your favourite night gown and make yourself a cuppa
remember the time he stabbed you in the back?
yep that’s why we’re sleeping alone
what arouses your appetite?
we never have to taste that bitterness again
I’ve made up my mind
theres no space in my heart
For you, or anyone to own
A lovely warm cinnamon candle burns on my bedside table
we’re even warmer feeling that we can be our own provider
Play my favourite music, never have to listen to your **** again hah
my heart needed healing it’s a blessing I have to stay at home
it’s safe to say
yep we’re finally moving on💖
there really is a good in goodbye, don't read the end accept that things are meant to die
lover Jan 2021
yes my bedroom windows open but at least it’s not my heart and yes i still leave the light on in case you see it in the dark  yes I know you have to pass it when you drive home alone but I’m not certain anymore if your seeing someone
I wish I could past my test just to lose my drivers license over drug driving ticket that i got just to say I broke the law because with my feet on the pedal and my hand on the door nothing will ever hurt as much as losing the movement I felt when I was in yours
So I’ll sit pretty, in the passenger seat just like I did before yes you’ll touch my skin while I weep a little more hoping in my head you love me and I’ll always be yours because you ****** me there too many times for you to be unsure?
Well you’ll ask me where to? And I’ll say to the stars because the destination is never enough, however far yes I’ll end up in the back seat naked in your palms because if I take my clothes off you’ll remember it’s ours
But as we come to the end. There’s not enough speed in your car for our final destination til’ death do us part
Yes we are Bonny and Clyde but more rogue because you said forever and now you’re just a ghost I hope you remember me that night when I loved you the most because I finally took the steering wheel and drove into a post
Til death do us part. In case  you didn’t know
  Jan 2021 lover
Apro
Why do I feel this way?
Why can’t you just get out of my head?
Why can’t I stop thinking?
Why do I still miss you?
Why can’t I do anything?
Why can’t I just live a good life?
Why can’t I find anyone?
Why does no one care about me?
Why does my life matter?
Why did You do what you did?
Why did I do nothing about it?
Why do I suffer?
Why did I just let you walk away?
Why can I still remember that day?
Why can’t I be happy?
Why can’t I be loved?
Why Do I Have To Keep On Living?
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