There are leaves covering the ground.
Shades of sage green, cardinal red, and russet,
reminding me of the involuntary nature of transformation.
Mother Earth has created a perfume that sits densely in the air.
A  glorious aroma that is smelt solely through the soul.
Ferns and mosses are such underrated wildlife.
Surely the flowers are worth marveling over,
but it is the moss and ferns that lay the landscape of beauty.
They are the backdrop and very essence of this earth

Your mother bought me this jar of sweet, sweet honey.
That is the way she showed her love,
Through gifts and giving.

I've been taking teaspoons each morning,
Small reminders of life's sweetness
Even without you.
It covers everything in its tracks with faint hints of sugar.
Candying all things it comes across.
You did that too -
Made things sweet.

There's hints of honey in all things again.
And you're not here to share them with.
I hope you're still finding spoonfuls of sweetness.
And if you can't find them,
I hope you are making them.

Thoughts from the table at Paris Baguette.
Be your own soulmate.
I’m not sure who I am without you anymore.
I hate mental illness, but you just as much.
You are weak -
And I am no longer sorry.

Today I changed my razor without your reminder.
And cleaned my coffee cup immediately after finishing it,
instead of leaving it to "soak".
I cleaned my sheets
and folded my laundry
(the true bane of my existence)
and said good riddance to any lingering residue of you.
Slowly,
I am finding myself further and further away from the idea of "we".
I have forgotten your scent -
the one I once treasured and awaited each night.
Your small hairs stopped making surprise visits to my pillow.
I am sure they are here, as they will always be;
just more distant and less noticeable.
I am a million things but sure,
yet here I am,
no longer treading water - but staying afloat.