thump-thump. thump-thump.
my heart. still beats.
i am. alive.
my blood. still runs.
am i. awake?
or am. i dead?
thump-thump. thump-thump.

thump-thump. thump thump.
my blood. still runs.
i am. alive.
my breath. is quick.
am i. alive?
or am. i dead?
thump-thump. thump-thump.

thump-thump. thump-thump.
my breath. is quick.
i am. alive.
my mind's. racing.
am i. alive?
or am. i dead?
thump-thump. thump-thump.

thump-thump. thump thump.
my mind's. racing.
i am. alive.
my hands. they shake.
am i. alive?
or am. i dead?
thump-thump. thump-thump.

thump-thump. thump-thump.
my hands. they shake.
i am. alive.
i try. to breathe.
am i. alive?
or am. i dead?
thump-thump. thump-thump.

thump-thump. thump-thump.
i try. to breathe.
i am. alive.
i can't. get air.
am i. alive?
or am. i dead?
thump-thump.
thump.
thump.

Do you hear that sound?
Thump thump thump...
It’s put me to sleep on many nights
Thump thump thump...
So strong that it calms the wary mind
Thump thump thump...

Held in a special place made for me
Thump thump thump...
Made for me?
Thump thump thump....
Yes, there can’t be another explanation
Thump thump thump...

It’s become my safe place
Thump thump thump...
It’s become my happy place
Thump thump thump...
It’s become my place
Thump thump thump...

Do you hear that?
Thump thump thump...
My very own lullaby
Thump thump thump...
My heart beating in his chest
Thump thump thump...

thump thump
                              thump thu thump
thump thump thump
                               thump thu thump
thump thump thu thump
                               thump thu thump thump
thump thump thump thump
                               thump thump thump thump
thump thump thump thump
                               thump thu thump
thump thu...*
                                *thump thu thump
*-

Hey! pal, don't make me your idol
just leave me alone
you'll be on your own, but I
don't care, that's not my problem
take it elsewhere
quit breathing my air, and just
die for all i care

love bleeds love
hate, cold indifference

it seems that the hero check-mated
his pawn for silent relief
consumating belief that they're

Strong enough, to get by alone
he's turned off his phone
the pawns pleading unknown for his

help

hey! this is the song of your season
its based on your reason ing
reckoning eyes
ignoring the skies
as we stare at our feet
just ignoring the beat of that

thump thump
thump thump
thump thump
thump thump
thump thump

Hey! pal, I'm trying to help you
I know what you've been through
I've cut off my hands too and
I know I've a right to your problems
I'm telling you
that you are mine too
and I will pursue because

Love bleeds love
hate, cold indifference

well it seems that the victim's persuaded
his defector is jaded
his soul's been blockaded when

the wounded hears that his friend needs a breath
he mistakes it all
for a wish for his
death

hey! this is the song of your season
its based on your reason ing
reckoning eyes
ignoring the skies
as we stare at our feet
just ignoring the beat of that

thump thump
thump thump
thump thump
thump thump
thump thump

Hey! now you're both in the wrong
this isn't your song
and the melodies long er than
either could ever realize
both need to survive
for peace they should strive because
love bleeds love

hate is bred in cold indifference

well, it seems that both sides have traded
all the love in the world
for cold bitter hatred

all the suffering ignored of
the bleeding and pleading
souls that implored you to

stop

hey! this is the song of your season
its based on your reason ing
reckoning eyes
ignoring the skies
as we stare at our feet
just ignoring the beat of that

thump thump
thump thump
thump thump
thump thump
thump thump

Well it seems that the  spectator failed you
He wants to help you along,
sing you his song but his
words failed to silent screams
as they were cut from his side
he bled and he cried (or died)
reticence gave way to indifference...

Thump
Thump
Thump
Is what my heart is doing right now

Thump
Thump
Thump
Goes the headache I have

Thump
Thump
Thump
Is the rhythm of my life

Thump
Thump
Thump
Is what my head did into the wall way too many times

Thump
Thump
Thump
Is the definition of my life

Thump
Thump
Thump
Defined by The Free Dictionary
              "The muffled sound produced by or as if by a blow with a blunt object"

Thump
Thump
Thump
Is what my soul did when you dumped it by the wayside

Thump
Thump
Thump
I am the blunt object that hit you
Like kicks in the shins
Over and
Over and
Over until
You couldn't
Stand up

If one word
Could describe me
It would be
Thump

I tell everyone that
you broke my heart.

But if I press my fingers hard
against my chest,
a little to the left of the bone in the center
that’s curved to fit the shape of the right side of your temple,
I can feel the steady
thump, thump, thump
of it,
still alive,
still in one piece,
still beating. I think
my heart is stronger than my body
most days,
when I can’t force myself out of bed
because my pillow still smells
like your shampoo and
my heart still beats:
thump, thump, thump.

When my knees give out
because I find your
“Essentials of Strength Training and Conditioning”
textbook right where I told you it would be,
my heart still beats:
thump, thump, thump.

When I stand in front of the fridge,
motionless,
staring at the notes you’ve written
in the margins of the takeout menus,
my heart still beats:
thump, thump, thump.

When I lay down on the floor and
stare at the Casio keyboard under the couch
where you left it,
my heart still beats:
thump, thump, thump.

When my fingers,
still melded to the shape
of your hand,
can’t grasp the doorknob
or my next drink
or the telephone to call you,
my heart still beats:
thump, thump, thump.

I tell everyone that
you broke my heart
but I think
the only thing you left whole
was my heart.

The rest of me is thrown around the room
in broken bits and pieces,
memories littered like body parts
across the hall
and the floor of a room I once called ‘ours,’
but my heart still beats:
thump, thump, thump.

My heart still beats
like eerie jungle drums in the dark,
like a clock and I have a hangover,
like a leaky faucet and a copper basin:
thump, tick, drip.

My heart still beats.

(You didn’t break all of me yet.)

Thump. Thump. Thump.
That's the sound of your heart,
Thump. Thump. Thump.
That means you are alive,
Thump. Thump. Thump.
All of your cells, all of your beautiful cells,
Thump. Thump. Thump.
They are here for you,
Thump. Thump.
You didn't listen.
Thump. Thump.
You didn't care.
Thump. Thump.
You were in so much pain,
Thump. Thump.
The bullying,
The screaming,
The pain
Thump.
Everything, stopped,
Including the pain.

Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
A beating so timed and rhythmic that it's scary.
What the heart wants, the heart gets.
You can't fool it.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Never stopping.
A comfort, but also a threat.
It'll keep you alive, but consume and want as long as it still beats.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Feed it your hate, and it will wither.
Water it with lies, and it will blacken.
Sow negativity, and almost surely it will show through in your actions.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
But wait, there's hope.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Feed your passions and love affairs to the heart and it is content as long as you are.
Feed it your dreams, and it will set your path.
Feed it positivity, and you will see the effects all around you.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Are you aware of the life coursing through you?
Can you feel the energy you feed it influencing you?
I hope so.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.

           m.h.

Head floating.
Thump thump
Thumping in your head.
Thump thump
You can feel every breath
Inhale
Dragging down your throat
Exhale
Each one a different texture
Inhale
Soft and cool, slipping down
Exhale
Climbing up, pushing out
Inhale
Your chest a vast cavern
Exhale
And every nerve attentive
Thump thump
Not being able to speak
Should I?
Nothing is important enough to say
Is it?
You are amplified and too focused
Am I?
Every thought decaying
Thump thump
You can feel the pieces falling
Thump thump
Making your heart quiver
Thump thump
And it goes on for hours
Thump thump
Which seems like years

Thump thump
And you can't hide your fears

Thump
They focus on you

Thump
And latch onto you

Thum
They love you

Thu
Don't let them go

Th
You need them

T
And they

.
need you.

My victory march
*  thump, thump
To my heart's song
  thump, thump
To feel again
  thump, thump
And for the first
  thump, thump
That love prevails
  thump, thump
Of my silent dream
  thump, thump
Tis not a waste
  thump, thump
To feel this way
  thump, thump

Thump
Thump thump
Thumpity thump
And it flips over
Flopping on the floor
Like a ****** up fish
Gushing and gooing
Just everywhere
Oh god
It's everywhere
The blood and thicker things
Thump thump
Thumping on the floor
As though it were
Taking a final breath
Dying, right there, on the floor
(Thump)
****, I'd just cleaned in here
For pity's sake
What is wrong with me
(Thump thump)
Letting this happen
Again
As if I never learn
Always doing the same thing
Over and over
(Thump)
At least, now that we're here
(Thump)
All of this
Will soon
Be
(Thumpity thump)
Over
As my heart lies there
Thumping blood onto the floor
Blood and all of my love
****** from my chest
For all my bad decisions
Every hopeful moment
Each rejection of love
The betrayals and backstabs
(Thump)
All of it
Over
At last.
Silence.

Thump thump
What is that?
Thump thump
There it is again
Thump thump
It's coming from inside
Thump thump
I'm starting to feel alive
Thump thump
Ice is falling from my skin
Thump thump
Is this a sign?
Thump thump
Shall I begin?
Thump.....

I see this face
It's beautiful
Desirable
Inconceivable
Intangible
Fantastical
It's radical
How this image
Takes a hold of me
A *****
Veritably vanquishing
This viciously vile
Vortex
And yes
I feel alive
At my door
I hear as opportunity knocks
Taking the form
Or figure
Of a fox
Slyly slithering
In to my thoughts
Eating away
My cage
And I awake

Was it just a dream?

I don't thinks so......

Thump, thump. Thump, thump.
I lie my head there on your chest
and find my absolute favorite place to rest.
Thump, thump. Thump, thump.
And I've been tested many times over in my quest for peace, but I never would have guessed I'd find it so quickly with you.
Thump, thump. Thump, thump.
Your heartbeat is the rhythm of my universe.

Pat Tat Tat Pat Tat Tat
Rain. Drip. Rain. Drop.
Slowly.
Rhythmic
On the window sill.
Time stood still.
Pat Tat Tat Pat Tat Tat.
Finger drawn across the cool glass.
And then I watched the path I traced melt and fade.
One moment I didn’t want to pass.
Wind rushes in through the cracks.
I pull the blanket closer.
I didn’t breathe.
I couldn’t breathe
I didn’t want this second to slip away from me.
Below, on the sidewalk I see a little boy
With a suitcase so big he has to drag.
Something tells me that’s his only bag.
His father at his side.
But even in the dark,
The worry in his eyes won’t hide.
Even the little boy seems to know the future doesn’t look bright.
Even he knows that things are not right.
Behind them, and out of their view
A woman follows with a little girl who’s missing her shoes.
A worn and torn rabbit dragging behind,
In search of a better life they hope to find.
Rain keeping time.
Like a heart
Thump Thump with mine.
Thump Thump.
Thump Thump.
Thump Thump.
Knock.
I don’t look.
I didn’t need to.
I knew who it was.
And trust me,
I wasn’t answering.
Knock.
Again.
Knock.
The very moment I wanted so desperately to never come,
And I knew it was useless to try to run.
The wind rushed in again and stung my eyes.
Then I turned and saw my baby,
She smiled up at me,
I was happy that at least she couldn’t see.
Thump Thump.
Acceding the stairs.
The men would take my baby away if they found her.
My one chance.
I had no choice but to take.
If only for my baby’s sake.
I pressed my lips to her forehead.
Then swaddled in my sweater
I tucked the bundle under my arm.
She was breathing.
I could feel it.
Her heart was beating
In time with mine.
Her heart was beating
In time with mine.

They took us to the trains.
I made it through the line with my baby.
My heart slowed just a little with that slight hope of maybe.
Thump Thump.
I felt her heart beat.
Her heart was beating
In time with mine.
She was fine.
But then my baby cried out,
And the man called me back.
He asked me what I had under my arm.
I didn’t answer.
I knew I didn’t need to.
There was nothing I could do.
He reached out for it.
I couldn’t refuse.
That was last time I felt the thump.
Her heart with mine.

We arrived at this place
Unknown to me.
And I saw a woman whom I knew.
She asked my where my baby was.
“What happened to your baby?”
And I said “What baby?”
“I don’t have a baby”
“I don’t have a baby”

Pat Tat Tat Pat Tat Tat.
The shower filled with gas.

I can here my heart
Thump...Thump
Always when i get this feeling
Thump...Thump
This feeling of want and happiness
Thump...Thump
It is you that my heart beats for
Thump...Thump
It wants and yearns for you
Thump...Thump
But my brain is bad with words
Thump...Thump
Good thing actions are louder
Thump...Thump
Because without you
Thump
My heart would
Die...

Basically I'm broken, shattered, pulled apart and torn to pieces, shards of sharp shimmering glass amass into a clump of crunching sounds. Crush. crack. Crunch and crumble.

My whole innards begin to tumble, whirr around like clothes in a dryer. Pockets not  checked, so their contents are set. Set to begin a cycle of being flung from side to side, swishing around, drowning in a swirl of cleanliness which should of course, ease the pain and wash away those steeped in stains and cleanse a spirit that's been pulled apart. Like a cotton thread. Slowly being pulled away from a wooley jumper as its caught.

Okay, it's caught on a zipper. from an old pair of jeans. Whose paths have crossed many times in outfit combos but now tumbling around together they no longer meld, together. They clash like; tartan and polka dots and conflict each others path to rightful cleanliness.

Basically I'm broken, shattered, pulled apart and torn to pieces, shards of sharp shimmering glass amass into a clump of crunching sounds. Crush. crack. Crunch and crumble

Alas, the thread is now long and wearing thin. It has lost its shape and would have to begin again. Once aired out to dry its a mound of mess, a cotton bundle looking all distressed. It tried its hardest to fight the emotion, the tug, of its strings to maintain its strength; but bowed down to defeat when knowing full well that it was beat. How could it now go on in life when it's torn. Torn to pieces and now ceases to exist in a form that would generally state: It! Exists!
Exists as a life form and a living part, how can things continue to breathe without a beating heart.

Thump thump, beat beat, thud thud. It starts. Thump thump, beat beat, thud thud. My heart.

Trying to mend the cracks with this battered *****. Mangled with regret and forlorn with spite, how can this reassess itself until it is right.

Thump thump, beat beat, thud thud. It starts. Thump thump, beat beat, thud thud. My heart.

It takes time to mend a broken ticker. Time passes by and memories become bitter, tainted with a brush that's tarred, marred with the longing for those moments to still occur. Not for your mind to now blur.
Blur those memories you once held so dear, remembered with a chuckle or a wry little smile. How can you comprehend these again for a while?!

You can't.
You shouldn't.
You couldn't.
So don't.

Thump thump. Beat beat, thud thud. It starts. Thump thump, beat beat. Thud thud. My heart.
broken, shattered, pulled apart and torn to pieces, shards of sharp shimmering glass amass into a clump of crunching sounds.
Crush.
crack.
Crunch.
Reassemble

Thump, thump, thump, thump,
Thump, thump, thump, thump,
Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Son, bare thine heart before God,
Confess you, shame the Deceiver morely,
It is just, it is Godly!

I have sinned gravely,
I have been covetous,
Lo, I seek forgiveness!

Thine sin, though crimson-stained,
Heaven bequest thee mercy,
Cause of thine courage.
Go, sin no more!

Pray, I ask but a favour,
Suffer me not this thing,
Baptism, that I seek.

Though much multitude await,
To be confessed the same,
Grant thou this for faith's sake.

Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen!
Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen!
Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen!

She took the stairs
and followed her mind shaped road to nowhere.
Nowhere had novocaine and a whole lot of what  should not be shared.
Mind trips,
Dulled her to otherworldly stares,
Bruised lips,
And no one in sight to look for her welfare,
Comatose limbs taking her from nowhere to nowhere.
Fogged brain
taking away every bit of care,
But her dulled heart,
Still dare.
Thump, thump, thump.

My heart pounds whenever I see you
I can’t help it…it just keeps going.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
On. And on. And on.
When we stand next to each other, it pounds faster.
We’re standing so close…our shoulders are almost touching.
Thump, thump. Thump, thump.
My hands interlock yours, they’re rough. Cold.
Yet I hold on anyway.
I can feel your hot breath on my face.
It’s raspy, almost. But it’s soothing.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
We’re even closer than before, it seems.
And I can’t stop looking into your eyes.
They’re…so focused. Like a prowling animal’s eyes.
And when our lips touch, they engage in a dance.
No…not a dance. A battle. Our tongues twisting.
Fighting for control. Dominance.
And this feeling emerges in my chest. It feels so warm.
I feel…complete.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Pain
Pain
Pain
There is nothing else
No time for anything else
Pain
Pain
Pain
Within my pounding chest
Pieces fall
Shatter
Pain
Pain
Pain
The shells
Fragments
Embedded
Pain
Pain
Pain
Fragile like glass
Embedded in my chest
Are fragments
Digging
Deeper
Pain
Pain
Pain
The rhythmic beat
That thumps out a song
A song
Of shattered
Life
Of shattered
Love
Thump
Thump
Pain
Pain
They beat as one
As a whole
Fragmented
Together
Beat
Thump
Pain
Thump
Pain
Thump
Pain
T­he broken
Heart
In scattered pieces
Beats
Together
Thump
Thump
Pain
Pain
I endure
The beating
Of
A broken heart
Thump
Pain
Endure
Thump
Thump
Pain
Pain
Endure, endure
As one
My chest
Houses only pieces
My chest
Endures
The beating
Of A broken
Heart
Bleeding
For the one
That broke
It