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Feb 2020 · 116
shame.
sophiesteck Feb 2020
they said i was like a bird
supposed to fly in the air
without a care

so explain to me
why
i
always
fall
Feb 2020 · 60
sorry.
sophiesteck Feb 2020
i always end up saying
"it's all my fault"
even when sometimes it's not
but in reality, and all retrospect
it is
my fault

people ask
"why are you blaming yourself?"
and i always say
that it is my fault
because i add fuel to the fire
i talk **** about people
who shouldn't even matter to me
people i knew would ruin my life

they aren't coming back
i know that
but for some reason i know i'm going to miss it
and that's my fault
i know i'm going to end up
shutting down
and doing something i'm going to regret

so i'm sorry and i know that i'm going to say it
a lot
even if it's not my fault
you'll tell me
"it's okay, it's really not your fault"
but deep down we all know:
i'm an awful friend
i don't deserve such good people in my life
i don't deserve something as special as life after
all the things i caused
our what seemed "perfect group"

i ruined it
i damaged it
i know it'll never be the same
but what's one less person?
Feb 2020 · 81
gone.
sophiesteck Feb 2020
sometimes
i
wish
i
could
disappear

no
one
needs
a
friend
like
me
Feb 2020 · 59
toxic.
sophiesteck Feb 2020
they say "the friends you make in high school
won't matter the rest of your life"
what they don't know, it that they will
they will matter because they know all of your secrets
they know everything that has happened to you in the last four years
they know the people you dated
the things you've gone through
why you got grounded
hell, even the guy you sent pictures to over text
that you ended up
deleting
because you knew your parents would never approve

so when they say "the friends you make in high school
won't matter the rest of your life"
is a lie
they shape who you become
they help influence you because more often than not
you have that one toxic friends
who always talks **** about people behind their back
but you'll never know if they were talking behind yours
the kind of friend that pressures you into smoking
or drinking
because they say things like "you're parents will never know
they're not here are they?"
or the type of friend who pulls you out of bed even when you're
not feeling up to going out because they're just
trying to get you to feel better

yes, they may have been a part of your life
but those nights you spent making bad decisions,
are nights you could have been calling a friend
or staying up all hours of the night laughing your head off
for some stupid reason
yes, they have been stolen away from you
but your slate is wiped clean
once you let those people go and get them out of your life

toxic friends can always be replaced with new and exciting ones
chose wisely
Feb 2020 · 80
goodmorning, beautiful.
sophiesteck Feb 2020
i woke up on the right side of the bed
for the first time in a long time
i had a really good dream
i smiled
my phone rang
for you had been up for a couple hours now

"good morning, i just made breakfeast. how did you sleep?"
you ask me

"i slept great," i replied overwhelmed with happiness

i get to wake up to this every morning
i just can't wait for the day
when i can roll over in bed
and not have to feel a cold, empty spot
you will fill it, and i'll kiss your forehead
and finally be able to say

"good morning, beautiful"
Feb 2020 · 80
falling out of love.
sophiesteck Feb 2020
did i love you by surprise at "hello"
or did i lose you at
"goodbye"

did you love me at "let's meet up"
or did you leave me at
"i fell out of love"

oh honey, so did i
Feb 2020 · 54
tired.
sophiesteck Feb 2020
"you're so strong" they said
"you're an inspiration" they said
"you're perfect" they said
"i'll never leave you" he said
"you're the love of my life" she said
"you'll get over it" they said

"i feel so weak" i whispered
"i want to go home" i said
"i can't get out of bed" i whined
"i want to die" i cried
"can anybody hear me?" i screamed

but nobody heard because they were only focused
on themselves
so much so, that they were hurting
the one person who might have just cared the most

"i'm just tired" i lied
as i crawled back to my bed
the only safe place left
that i had

"i'm sorry" i said
"there's nothing to be done" i said
"i tried my best" i said
"i've made mistakes i know, far greater than
you can imagine
but now it's all caught up
and i can't escape myself" i said
Feb 2020 · 67
best friend.
sophiesteck Feb 2020
"i love you"
is always used loosely
but in my mind
you know
i mean it

"i'll never leave"
is always used as a sugarcoat for the truth
but in my eyes
you know
it's a promise

i told you i'd never leave you
no matter what life throws at us
and i intend to keep it

i don't care if my friends hate you
because what they think
doesn't matter
as long as i still get to hear the jokes you make
and the smooth pickup line you practice on me with
i would give anything to keep it all
close to me

because you're my best friend
and that's all i can ask for
Feb 2020 · 74
previous broken hearts
sophiesteck Feb 2020
right now, you're looking for an answer
right now, you're craving a touch
right now, you're looking back on your past mistakes
because someone decided to take advantage of your soft heart.
you felt for everyone, you were everyone's go-to for advice.
but right now, you're hurting.
right now, you're crying and it's late
because you can't get out of your own head.
you've put yourself through so much ****

now you're finally able to be free
Feb 2020 · 77
her.
sophiesteck Feb 2020
her.
her eyes, you could get lost in them
with just a glance.
her hair, dark as night but her smile
shines like the stars
which complements her so perfectly.
she is beautiful, and I want to tell her every day.
her mind makes her doubt herself but just as so her creativity
helps her escape all the negativity.
her lips always know how to form
the words I want to hear
and I would kiss them all day if you lived near.
her laugh makes me smile
even on my worst day.
they say laughter is the best medicine, but it’s my only medicine.
she is the definition
of an imperfect perfection.
her.
she is all I need.
I think
I might love
her.

— The End —