do you really know me
do you know what brings the spark into my eyes
have you gotten the chance to understand me
and why I take long sighs as if life could ever give me a break
or do you want to keep going along with your misconceptions and what you’ve branded me to be in your mind and your story
see what drives me
is getting past the first impressions
car rides of full silence
I want to know all of you
what brings you joy
your favorite food
what makes you laugh
what still makes you sad
we can’t change the past
but I can continue to write my story
so this idea of me that you have that I’m arrogant
and lonely
I’m fulfilled in many ways but you are the mystery that became very confusing
when you retire from the games
and look past the appearance and ask the right questions then you’ll see why my heart shines more than my smile
I can write my heart away but telling you this is a story for another day this will never be a good bye but a see you around
You can drag me along and try to make me feel as miserable or you send me away to where ever you feel like I belong
I’m not perfect absolutely
You take parts of me and things you think you know and think you have it figured out and for that
You’ll never really know who she is

Play the song on Sunday morning

Cause I want to be all that you need
hoping the road leads me back to you


may their be romance in the air every day
until our bones become old and shatter


I hope that I’m all that you see
give me a sign and let me know
it’s you I need you

driving through the streets late night
by sun up be at a beach
on the way watch the moonlight
don’t need people just need to be free
don’t need clubs just need peace
don’t need money just need
my mind on dnd
cause right now I just need to shut down
and pop up like windows 30 I’ll wake back up when they make iPhone 40
times passing and all I can think is
be still
let god wrap me up in the times of chaos’s
my trauma response is shutting down

I try to sleep early
but I can’t sleep
I try to get up on time
I’m barely making it up
With you running through
My mind
I feel like I’m going backwards a bit
and that’s kind of scary
I hope I did grow
And don’t have to experience the same pain twice

God didn’t want me to go backwards
But a part of me feels like you need to know this
He says to me now child turn away and refrain from this , it is only hurting you and him.
So I’ll say this in the purest way possible.
She is the girl you once knew
She is the girl who made your dark days renewed
She is the girl who’d wait to see you and then laugh with you
Hours felt like seconds
Who knew earth could  be shared by two
You taught me so much
How no matter how you care and how much you cry they’ll never change or take accountability
No matter how many years you try to reach out
Their will never be a response
It’s like the image I get in my head
The ******* the floor crying and banging on the door screaming let me in but the door remains shut
So my breathes are now counted
Because as time goes on this earth really never felt like home
My life had no meaning to you
I’ll always be too ghetto for you and you’ll always be the boy who was well off and only wants what he wants and when wants and never care for the damage caused and what was torn apart. You split me into two and then wonder what happened.
Please continue to reject me , treat me like a black sheep and tell me how I could never be loved. One day I’m gonna hug god and say thanking for allowing me to feel so much pain and so much joy. Thank you god for allowing me to see things from your perspective and not the world.

Let’s suffer in silence
smile bright
and cry inside
and let our hearts crush
and then wonder why it hurts so much
and then tell others we’re alright
we moved past it all but the worst part is
we can’t stand to look at one another
the fear of looking into each others eyes
and you’d wonder if it’ll give you life or rip your heart  into shreads inside
I’ll tell you this
every time I saw you and you didn’t see me
I use to isolate myself
and go through breathing techniques
so my heart didn’t break it raced out my chest
and then I’d cry and wonder why
the boy I loved became the boy I feared
here it is to the boy I once knew

yeah words do carry weight
you know what did it for me when it came to you
I could stare at you all day even when you were shy and quiet but when you spoke and when you had something to say I would sit back and take something away
a man of a few powerful words
so please uplift me do not break me

Sometimes I just wonder
Is that why you never
act on it
Or take action or charge
Listen to me very clear
Despite our challenges
Dear god knows how I pray for your well being and for you to remain protected against the world that can be so evil and cruel
I’ve seen how the world had already consumed
You we meet for a reason and theirs a reason why you can’t forget me so listen
You will have to disappoint people
You will have to walk away from many
You will have to close doors
You will be rejected by several
But do not ever let that define your future
For every lose their was one win coming to you after you work on it and trust me when I say
You are no ordinary person

if I could freeze moments in my life
it would be moments of you and I
where I felt the most alive
now we roam the earth heart split into two
hoping it can just been given away
all that know me
Know that deep down I feel like
I’ll only feel peace when I die
Cause right now I don’t want to think this Saturday I just want to sleep my life away

I guess what I’m waiting for is a direct sign
maybe like when the sky’s falling
and the sky falls
( chicken little )

I guess I’m waiting for you to describe me
in your words
only things you and I would know about

I’m waiting for you to submit yourself completely
it’s all or nothing with me baby
it’s the risk you have to take
maybe I’ll elevate you
or change your life

ask yourself this since me
have you smiled the same
or does it feel like you died inside
when we parted ways

trust me if 25/8 staying in bed with you was a choice oh honey I’d take it and with you only everyone else can stay in the sidelines

be my home away from home
no matter where we go
far outside
your always near
a place to call home

I want a love that feels light
A love where I think I can trust you
Where I don’t have to question if I’m enough
Where I can never tire you
And you never get bored of me that love where we are old and you still open the door and I smile even with wrinkles I want a love where you still get nervous when you see me walk into a room and don’t know how to act
I just wanted a love that would last
A love that never comes around twice
How I sit and dream but it’s ok god is with me