If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss*

You never breathe a word about your loss,
But every breath you take,
Reminds you of your loss;
And every word you never say,
Reminds me of your hurt

My embodiment of poetry,
I wish you'd let me see,
All the cuts and pain you hide,
I wish you would just be

Your life is yours alone,
Some times I forget,
My good intentions have often hurt you,
And I don't want another regret

Please hear what I feel,
And know that I am yours,
You don't have to be mine in turn,
I just want a share of your loss

Burst into flames,
Remember,
You are after all,
A Phoenix.

Cannot overemphasise the importance of never giving up,
If you believe in a cause, a person, an idea, with every cell in your body,
No matter what logic and books and your friends and the internet may say,
If you have faith in something,
You owe it to yourself, and the object of your belief,
To fight -
Every hurdle in your way,
And if that hope and belief survives every hurdle...









So will you

Because this life is like the vast sea,
And I do not how to swim,
And the anchor keeping me afloat...


*Is you

The sun, the moon, the stars,
The cuts, the calluses, the scars

The strength, the fear, the trust,
The mind, the soul, the stardust

The inspiration, the love, the friend,
The rope, the fray, the amend

Everything together found in few,
My everything and more,*  *you

There is a long road ahead,
Let us walk together

And even when you thought nobody understands you,
Somebody understood

And even when you thought nobody sees your struggles,
Somebody saw

And even when you thought you don't deserve love,
Somebody loved

If I could make an elixir,
To drive away your pain,
If I could find a version of happiness,
Lasting, to always remain,
I'd give every breath I could ever claim,
Every possession that bears my name,
I'd hold you tight until time stopped,
And drink up every tear before it dropped,
raison d'être, my life, my all,
I'd cut off my legs to make you stand tall,
This truth will always stay,
No matter what is thrown our way,
- I will love you till the end of me,
I love you more than you will ever see

Like a star in a dark star-less sky,
Appeared without prelude,
Like a shooting star on a beautiful night,
Disappeared with nothing to conclude

Are there ruins in your head?
Where I see treasures
Is there pain in your eyes?
Where I see hue lit sunsets
Is there darkness in your heart?
Where I see fear
Is there a secret in your laughter?
Where I hear tomorrows
Is there deceit in your words?
Where I see promises
Is there armoury in your arms,
Where I find comfort
Is there anything real?
Where I have built air castles
Is there hope?
In those ruins, that pain, darkness, laughter, words, arms,
all that I am hopelessly in love with

This brokenness,
is our oneness,
I don't want a cure

The shadow ran, as the figure stood still,
The shadow leaped, like it had no free will.

The shadow wondered,  why the figure turned frigid,
The shadow wasn't inspired, it began to feel insipid.

The shadow existed,  because master was alive,
The shadow revelled, in the days master would jive.

The shadow turned, to see if it still reflected master,
The shadow cried; the lights were a disaster.

The shadow was desperate, for master to act,
The shadow was in the deep, it couldn't retract.

The shadow began to fade, as master remained aloof,
The shadow was dead, master pulled off another spoof.

Draw a line, but not in ink,
Charcoal black will let you rethink

The emperor's word isn't set in stone,
Uncertain as breath, the power of the throne

The mighty sea is stirred by a wave,
Don't still your soul, before the grave

I'm thinking of you tonight,
And of how it didn't end quite right;
You'd become a part of me,
Meeting you was like a discovery,
You showed me parts of me
- disguised as parts of you,
And then you were me,
My own, before I knew

My love I called you right from the start,
Little did I know, your home wasn't my heart,
Your un-chosen abode it will always be,
And memories will always be home for me,
You said you would tell me when the fight was done,
And yet, it wasn't exactly you who told me you'd won,
Regardless, I was glad to know,
My baby's okay, even though he won't show,

Maybe okay is an overstatement,
But at least you're getting there,
There will never be a day, where I couldn't care,
And life will go on, sadly, as it must,
And you'll be okay,
I'll hope, I'll trust

And then you laughed,
And then I laughed,
And suddenly that became the only way laughter existed

Dancing through hula hoops,
Loopholes of incomplete lies
Awaiting an answer,
Redemption on the other side
But if that is an illusion,
There's no room for confusion,
Facts are simple,
Interpretations are a mirage,
Reality is irrelevant,
I don't trust myself with loving you

These broken brights are singing me a song,
It's like they know where we began from,  
I listen with intent,
They're singing without your consent,
But you make a slip, hum along,
And quickly retract, as if that's something wrong,

These broken brights, carry traces of your light,
It helps me see, through the darkest night,
Your shadow emerges, and quickly leaves,
Caught in the act, a pack of thieves,

These broken brights with a scent of your musk,
Get stronger every evening, my companions of dusk,
You blow off their flame, but they burn strong,
These broken brights are mine, they'll sing our song

I wish there was a reset button,
To be pressed every time someone left,
A 'restore factory settings'
To enable after every heartbreak,
For it seems,
Everyone that plays with this shameless heart,
Takes away a little something,
Never leaving it whole, and not nearly the same,
It's almost like it has to learn how to beat all over again,
It beats to a tune,
And tunes can't handle a lot of resets

Become, and unbecome,
In the altar of love,
Demolish knowledge,
Be a canvas, a sponge,
Let go of need,
Grab hope, for thy beloved,
And thy beloved alone,
Let go of the 'I' and 'you',
Reflect on the non duality,
If you really love,
Do not cheapen the emotion,
Become, and unbecome

You are everything,
That I have chosen to make you

Take me into you, mind and body alike,
Tired of this world, in your arms I seek respite,
You may shiver, of the cold within thyself, and my frigidity,
But still hold me close,
Believe me it's a necessity,
My bones may thaw, in the warmth of your embrace,
And if they don't, at least my tears may melt within you, some cold, aloof space,
You are the alpha and omega, the very breath my lungs inhale,
You are the rhythm in my beating veins,
Tired, of all the functions living entails
So hold me, love, let me be in your arms until time stops,
Don't ask me to move, keep me, just until the ball drops

Clouded judgement,
Clouded thoughts,
Clouded vision,
Clouded life,

Waiting...
*for the rain

Our problem was, very different tastes
Mine was terrific, I mean look at him
His was abysmal, I can't even look at *her

What should I tell you,
That I haven't already?

What I should I give you,
That you don't have already?

Guardian of my sanity,
I have lost everything to you,

What a great loss I've had,
For I've finally found you,

I have nothing left,
No abundance to offer you from,

I am but an empty pitcher,
I hope you will drink from

Eyes on the moon,
Fingers intertwined,
A near complete, peace of mind

My thoughts... Wildfire
Me... Ashes
You... A Magnificent Phoenix

At the desperate hour,
Nothing can matter
When the brakes are being pulled,
But you've already accelerated beyond control
Who will you pray to?
When your God is laughing in your face;
Crying at his reality;
Damning your efforts
Irrespective of intent,
You fueled the fire you wanted put out
What will you do then?

Silent crier,
These words are for you,
Let them comfort you,
That’s what they’re meant to do,
This trouble that engulfs you,
Won’t last forever,
Happy days that follow,
Won’t stay forever,
In the momentary illusion of fleeting joy and sorrow,
Look up to the sky,
Remember there is tomorrow

Every mark I try to make,
Turns into a scar;
Maybe I should just be a wallflower,
live and die,
Till I return to the night sky a star

The magician loses his power,
When you learn his tricks

A throbbing head,
An empty heart,
An abrupt end,
A beautiful start

A black truth,
A white lie,
A still sea,
A dark sky

A severed bond,
A frayed rope,
A sincere prayer,
A dying hope

Why must I write?
When there's so much better,
Prose, poetry, free styling words,
So much more elaborate,
So beautifully knit together,
While I create patchworks of rhymes, and reason,
This silence would ****,
This inability to express to people,
Because paper patiently listens,
Because this desire-less life feels a little lived when pen meets paper,
But I don't write in ink,
Charcoal let's me rethink,
Who knows what's going to happen next,
And if you did, what would you really do differently?
Can you escape yourself?
Wherever you go, there you are

It is going to end,
I am going to cry,
Not because it's over,
But because we didn't try

This life isn't mine,
It was made for you,
These lessons aren't mine,
They were learned for you,
These thoughts aren't mine,
They were conceived by you,
These actions aren't mine,
They were steps towards you,
This faith isn't mine,
It was cultivated by you,

This life is yours,
It is lived for you,
These lessons, these thoughts, these actions, this faith,
It's all yours,
And all I hope is,
You are mine

I waited for your call, but it never came,
I called you then, you insisted we're the same

How can that be true, if you never reach out,
How can I believe you, with a heart full of doubt?

We never had a deal, but I always honoured my part,
Why did you stop? Rather, why did you ever start?

You said beautiful words, that resonate in my mind,
Were they empty? Or did reading between lines turn me blind?

I want to hold you so close, that we're almost one,
I want to do so much, but these thoughts I must shun

Why am I attached to you, like a caterpillar stuck to its cocoon
Was it meant to be, or did I feel too much too soon?

I don't want to be the beast of your burden, an ***** you're forced to sever,
But I don't want an existence without you, the thought makes me quiver

We mattered to you, at one point, I think that's true,
That time has passed, I'm getting around the new you

You'll have a change of heart some day, that's all I can hope,
I'll hold on as long as I can, until you cut the frayed rope

Weary from all the breathing,
Exhausted with the shreds of conversation,
Worn out of the pretence,
Drained with all the thinking,
Just...





Tired.

You have always been loved deeply and widely,

I was never loved widely, but I was more than content with the depth of your love,

I loved you beyond the depths of the ocean, but for you, the width of the sky wasn't enough

You're going to warm me up,
Or burn me down

I tried to write a poem on how I feel right now,
And all I could scribble was a paraphrased House quote,
*I feel nothing. And it doesn't feel great

It's 4.47am,
We promised each other we'd try to sleep at 3.08am,
But I'm consumed by thoughts of you,
And this happiness and affection that'***** us out of nowhere;
Scares me.
I fear not a change of your heart,
For I've been there before,
Walked on that shaky floor,
I fear inadequacy,
You meteor of a person,
I want you to have the best,
And with no intent of self deprecation,
No tolerance for being told I'm worth it,
I know I will fall short,
I love you more than any emotion I've ever known,
But I want to feel okay about you loving me too.
Good night

It won't stop for a minute,
It won't keep pace if you slow down,
I didn't need more proof of its insanity,
When I realised,
This world keeps spinning, around

My precious heart,
You make me smile
So burned and bruised,
Still laughing all the while

The stardust that makes you,
Is one of a kind,
Rare just like you,
Impossible to find

How lucky am I,
To breathe the same air,
To witness a glimpse of your magnificence,
To know, you're there

A clean slate,
A fresh start,
A happy life,
Wishes for you, straight from my heart

I have known euphoria
- it's the sound of your laughter
- With or without me,
To see your happily ever after

Chiseled the rock, over and over,
A beautiful sculpture was to emerge,
Patiently carved, with diligent hands,
Only not to hurt the natural design

Carefully worded,
An essay, a story of a warrior king,
With spellbound pen and captivated heart,
Only for words not to fall short

Beautifully composed, melodious song,
With brilliant lyrics and music alike,
To soothe a heart, and cure a mind,
Only for playing at the right volume

But the rock stopped giving up its chips,
The essay stopped making sense,
The song lost its melody,
All to 3 words - leave me alone

There was a light, shining brighter than the sun
I should have basked in it, but I stared too long,
...And I was blind

I just want to tell you I love you,
Over and over,
Until your nerves know, that when they hurt, I hurt too
I know we don't know what tomorrow will bring,
But I love you, and here's the thing,
Tomorrow could be a bed of roses, or a basket of nails,
It doesn't matter,
I just want you to realise,
That if we face it together,
It'll be okay,
And a single sunrise, or a million to go,
As many as there are in store,
I want them with you
I love you

Do you know how much you mean to me?
You'd probably say you do,
Missing out on the variable of relativity,
Which makes you mean a little more to me everyday,
Baffling my own capability, my own sanity

*//Thought Whispers

There's just one you for me,
There's just one me for you,
Hold on tight,
We'll see this through and through