I died awhile ago
   froze to death in snow
   lost in dream's flow
   still alive to and fro.
   Can't quite be still
   like a corpse until
   devil robs the till
   of my own free will.

When I'm hungry
or just hungover
I'm madman angry
spurned French lover
willing to punish you
as I fly into the Sun
my wings won't do
Icarus come undone.

When did our lust volcano
cool leaving just Pompeii's
scorched memories whole?
Summer now Winter days.

I'm breathing dust
and sweating rust
lost all of my trust
poker hand a bust
drowning in riptide
always wrong side
sorry your son died
bury my fears cried.

Time for retribution
payment for cruelty
human absolution
grandpa's promiscuity.
Drunk bar stool Romeo
charms into their *******
poor mans pretty hero
everything is fantasies.

I could not attain velocity
    to escapes war's gravity.
    Never found land of free.
    No more real geometry.
    Wished who I used to be,
    no now what I had to see.

All that you adore
is all that I abhor.
Except our only child
born inside the wild.

I popped her cherry
proud boy boasted
sacred ****** Mary
beer cans toasted.

Lust had her way
Love broke again
**** another day
no more ******.

It's mathematical
an eye for an eye
always practical
tongue for a lie.

I need my penance
you silent collateral
the final death dance
eat my mortal soul.

I'm a familiar stranger
abandonment father
your forgotten danger
my estranged daughter.
You buried me already
I haven't quite yet died
the hate remains steady
I never really tried.

Road map to my heart's center
  where all broke pieces collect
  tear it apart never any better
  for all quiet but silent neglect.

raindrops upon the window pane
coffee on my undershirt stain
a laugh and a little bit of pain
my face Picasso's **** refrain
bits and pieces of my old brain
all that matters will still remain.

The dog who knew silence
the man who knows shame
the screaming violence
self hatred always came.
Years gone I never forget
cruel madness blind light
my sadness true regret
the noose forever tight.

Early evenings he was a hoot.
In his cups beers and butts
another cheap shot to shoot
aimed at pretty bar stool *****.

Hungover monster at 6 am
angry at the entire universe
God and Satan great amen
hair of the dog cures a curse.

Too late to mend a fence
it's time for vengeance.
Damage is already done
bring your biggest gun!
Don't dare miss the fun
if you must, die in the sun.

Silence and noise
destroys my poise
up and down again
the madness within
shadow in noon light
it is my final flight

Sacred *******
black crucifixes
an altar boy
the priest toy
lesbian nun
so much fun
spank girls
warm curls
flag unfurls
****** pearls.

Day to day
in every way
death on shoes
brain of *****
ants and gnats
Batman's bats.
Electrocute flies
and white lies.
Truth threshed
stretched flesh
on my crying
eyes Q is dying.

I live below the Thunder
the floor beneath I wonder.
They walk above loudly
a ******* all proudly.
Are you here forever
check out date never?

Her fingernails grow
like vampire teeth
bleed your back slow
when I come I seethe.
The hottest heartbeat
explodes in lust flame.
You're my kindest treat
no sin left for any blame.

Kids in the woods by the creek.
   I remember kissing Susan Tucker
   Cary Grant and the Blond Greek
   big screen no tongue no **** her.
  
   I'm 77 now broke my own heart
   too many times that I remember
   collateral damage from the start
   I face my final chapter December.

Romeo and Juliette
in love never forget
Sharks and Jets dieing
never stop the trying.

Inertia takes a silent toll
tell your sacred secrets
full moon the ugly troll
Eden park's fall regrets.

Come out wherever you are
outside your own inner space
lightening bug inside your jar.
Give a real smile on your face.

Christ or dollars
I'm on my knees
cross or stud collars
but only if I please.

I need redemption,
successful lobotomy.
Am I the exception
or Rose Kennedy?

I pride myself in honesty
after all the years of lies.
No more games don't see
tears as my face just dies.

I lived in rough waters
the puddles of fathers.
Drama's beauty queens
all their broken dreams.
Go marry your fantasies
give it all on your knees.
Another drink I'm healed.
You were made in a field.

I sat in His wooden pews.
I knelt on His Jesus cross.
Reading the Holy news
mourning religion's loss.

We've  been running
in circles no starting
over you're stunning!
I missed the parting.

I love my Katie and Sean
Michigan Avenue red light
dogs are barking 'til dawn.
French leave take my flight.
Kids left as nun's orphans
while I exit my stage right
it bleeds into tear's plans.

I'm a boy lost in lust.
No need for more trust.
More boom than bust
***** turned to rust.

Itches
*******
crucifixes
altar boys
priest toys
lover joys

lesbian nun
so much fun
spank girls
warm curls
flag unfurls
****** pearls

father priest
never inferior
grandpa pope
mother superior.

balanced above circus
clowns and crazy fate
it's just the two of us
always been too late

Finally Jayne
No excuses
I abandoned
my children
like orphans
to crow nuns
without wings
to fly back again
always in love
I ran away to
another cave
called Betsey
named Karen
then Georgina
then Terry Morse
then Lynette
Finally Jayne.

Since birth
I have been
God ******
by original sin.

No clean slate
**** fresh start.
blackened soul
a Devil's heart.

Full moon ripples in the creek
true young love is never weak
from years long gone I speak
rotting vows will always reek

Keep breathing
your life's breath
don't surrender
one more death.

Now I am alone.
Everyone is dead,
too late to atone
still time to dread.

My dear, Savior
Erase my debts.
make me braver,
admit my regrets.
Anyway let me be
in a peaceful place
where I can see
better time space.

He always sat
in a **** fiat
on His throne
no press, alone,
Godly everything
wears God's ring.
Creation progressed
we all confessed
sins big and small
in the confessional.
I told
of my hold
on my *****
vomited sick
white puke
as a rebuke.
God is dead
shot in the head
with my ***
midnight sun.

Cousin Mike more than a brother over years.
You had *** at 14. I kissed them made them cry.
Wyoming was roaming with eager wet tears.
You broke our hearts and used ***** to die.

He died a long time ago
but lives inside us each
he's every inch we grow
never outside his reach.

A forever after universe
breathe his magic dust
infinite prayer and curse
always doubt and trust.

Hold my hand to the end and beyond
  where souls never break their bond.
  No flesh to navigate lust's spasm.
  We exist as one in our perfection.

He snores and farts in sleep.
Unabashed as we kids creep
looking at Grandpa's books
borrowing them like crooks.
Salinger's Catcher in the Rye.
Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby.
Bronte's Wuthering Heights.
Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath.
Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar.
My Endless Night's in the Bar
tanned in neon's sunlight
stumble home in moonlight.

Tie me down use whips
endless cruelest licks.
Nail me on wood cross
Life or death dice toss.

Jesus Christ maybe
born in Catholic guilt
an original sin baby
wrap me in sin's quilt.

Numbers I adore
are God's own drunk
******* on the floor
old small and shrunk.

Words keep raining down
honest sweat tears and blood
caught in a riptide I'll drown
in tsunami anonymous flood.

1+1 = Love?
Marriage Dove
Wedding storm
Love never torn.

****** young but old
my naked slave sold
popping bubble gum.
Tempt old men for fun.

Bring your hearts
to a band in a barn
just fits and starts
inside our tiny farm.
**** me dead again
in our ****** sweat
of the mortal sin
without any regret.