You’re
in my head
Still

You
never left
though

Yet
you are never
here

I
Begin to see
Clearly

Yet
Still I
Seek

Never have I wanted someone so much
Never have I felt so alone
This is all I know right now
And it’s everything I don’t want to feel

You take away the pain
Of every hurt I feel
Consuming my mind
Looking to heal

The outlook is blind
Future dark
Present does not exist
Makes me tired

I try yes I do
To right the wrongs
But always reminded
That I can’t compete

You, you are elevated
I look up and see
Yet here below
I admit defeat

I'd rather give you
real ones
and real kisses
and real love

We could make it real
one day

So why bother wading through diluted water
to only half wet your feet
when all you want is to be
submerged

Love

         Loss

               Life

                      Learning...

                        ­              still learning

the most dangerous
drug of them all

I don’t miss...
waiting for you
to tell me you love me
Just before sleep
When it wasn’t hard for me to say it to you at all

I don’t miss...
Being angry that you paid me no attention
That you never touched me like you used to
never smiled when I kissed you
let alone kissed me back

I don’t miss...
Running into the darkness
To find a light of my own
To find a space in the void that would welcome me more

I don’t miss..
Crying for the mistakes I made
When all I wanted was to feel what we had at the start

But our start has now become our end
And I’m learning to begin again
Even though the pain is greater than before