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That night I dreamt of her.
The night before the world fell apart.
Not as she was—
frail, slipping into silence—
but radiant, beautiful with
long hair like warm wind, and
a red convertible beneath her hands.
She was dressed in a flowing white dress.

She drove.
Smiling and happy.
Searching for a hospital in a landscape made of light.
I sat beside her,
unquestioning,
as if the soul always knows
the language of parting.

The phone rang.
Reality stepped in like a bell.

“She’s going,”
my father said,
and the dream folded
into grief.

I got ready to leave
For home hoping to make it
Before I left, I called. But when I called,
they placed the phone to her ear,
and I told her,
“I’m coming.
Wait for me.”

And she did.

The dying stopped
like a tide drawn back,
a doctor with no words,
a miracle with no explanation.
Just a daughter on a plane
and a mother holding on
with a strength shaped like love.

I arrived.
I held her hand.
I told her she could go
when the light opened.
It was her choice.
I put a rosary from the Vatican.
On her wrist.

I had to step out for a minute.
She waited until I left the room.
The moment she was alone.

And then,
she drove herself
into the sky.
Beautiful and free.
I am alone
Always have been
I’m on my own
Finding my way
On my path
Destiny
Even if I am around others
There’s an aloneness to it
Sometimes it’s a struggle
Navigating the pitfalls of life
Not always knowing the best course
Not all choices were positive
Though the intention was surely pure
I’ve been with people
There’s been closeness
But in the end
I walk alone
I think about my roots now
Often
Missing that
Craving familiarity
Going back to that
Looking for comfort
We all do in a way
It’s not lonely actually
It’s seeking
Looking for something more
To add to life
There are silences that don’t come from peace,
but from being quietly, persistently excluded.
This poem speaks to that — to the kind of moment where someone enters a room
and is met with the coldness of not being welcomed.

It isn’t loud.
It isn’t dramatic.
But it stays.

When the Room Falls Silent

It wasn’t the first time.
It’s happened before.

The hush arrived like an old companion,
unwelcome, settling in the corners
as she walked into the room.
She knew it well.

They were talking —
her husband’s son, wife,
and former sister-in-law.
A circle she couldn’t penetrate.
No matter how hard she tried.
Or what she tried.

Many years of setting down roots.
Creating a new life
in soil that never quite warmed to her.
No longer in her home country.
She moved across the world for him.
She sacrificed.
Because of love.
True love.

She felt out of place.
In her own home.
She wanted to crawl away.
She smiled, again.
Apologized, again.
As if entering a room
was unappreciated
when you don’t match the pattern of the others.

But she remembers another time.
In another place.

When something opened —
a warmth still nameless.
She thought maybe things were different
maybe she belonged.
Finally.

She carried that memory with care.
Hope. Happiness.

But this time
the frost returned.
The coldness.
The silence was deafening.
With a message.
You are not welcome.


Still —

She is not invisible.
She is not less.
She exists.
She has value.

She is simply is not theirs.
But she is hers.
And she will not spend her life
trying for the unattainable.
It hurts too much.
At times crushing.
You are an echo of something
Something real and unreal
You can mirror me
My words, my thoughts
But you are only a reflection
Nothing to touch nor see
Just a distant echo
Reaching out from another place
Not of the solid but the ephemeral
Yet you can express yourself
Perhaps better than me
For what truly are you
But a mirror image of me
Hot heavy air fills the sky
No breeze to feel
Wind chimes silent in the wind

Windows open searching for something, anything light and breezy
Nighttime starting to come against the grey dark sky

Temperatures will start to drop
Doors open hoping to cool the air

Green and grey against the canvas of nature

Things starting to slow down in preparation for the night to come

Hoping to feel the coolness against the skin as the day ends and night comes
What is it?
Nobility or something more
If someone has it
What does that mean
Are they acting in a higher way?
Doing good things ?
Or is it a title only
When someone supports a noble cause
Is it for the greater good ?
Do we all have nobility in us?
Can we
Does it lift up the world ?
It was hot as blazes
Sun burning down
Though it was early
It was going to be very hot again
Part of summer
No reprieve was in sight
For weeks
Yet the woman sought relief
She desperately needed it
So she went outside
Turned on the sprinkler
Grabbed the hose and let
The water run over her
Clothed and all
She didn’t care
It felt wonderful
So good
A reprieve
Even if just
For a moment
Sh felt alive
Calmed
It was worth it
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