We walked each other home
And then found
A home
Outside of each others hearts.

I sometimes stand near her side window.

Smell her cooking's.
Hear her lover's loving.

I leave quietly.

No longer at
Home. There

But still at home in my wilderness

Is a
try
try
try
try
try
try
try

and
try

I went home yesterday.
And I learned there's no
Home
Left to come home to.

There is no space for who I was.

Sometimes a person's leaving allows for new life to grow.

I don't trust this new home either. I can feel the mold under a new coat of paint.

But perhaps I am jealous.

Because my parents have each other.
My siblings have parents.

And I don't have Any Body.

As a child I was better at spousing, mothering and daughtering.

Today I am lost.
Journeying perhaps.

Becoming.

Dreams are
hopes
            others have deemed unrealistic.
And
have then warned
you
not to give voice to.

For the devil
will lay his
clawed fingers and
black eyes. On
the delicate fabric of.
hope.
So dont ****
your dreams,
they say. But
keep it Silent.
Secret.
Shamed.
They so fear the
devil that
they **** their own
dreams. Sacrifice
their motivations and the most beautiful Privilege
of being
human
on an altar of
idols. The human
ideals.

I keep my truths like swords
safely in a scabbard
and pull them out in dangerous times
when my honor's nearly shattered