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Diana Santiago Jan 2020
It just isn't in me
Doesn't feel like it's right
Although you hurt my heart
In plain vast open sight

All the years I spent hoping
Some of them big, some small
They fed my attachment to you
You swiftly obliterated them all

My friends viewed me as insane
Thought I was losing my marbles
Over some non existential connection
Words about you on paper I'd warble

I should hate and detest you
Spit on the images of your face
Set on fire the part in my heart
Where you occupied a big space

I won't allow your dismissal
To shatter me into pieces
My soul will fend off the wounds
Till the memory of you ceases
Diana Santiago Oct 2019
What happened to your eyes?
Blankness was residing in them
A force field built around your perimeter
Their protection of you my condemn

I kept hoping for approval
Some sign of validation
Yet you had nothing for me
Only a serving of rejection

Gluing your eyes to an animated screen
Shutting out the action around you
I being caught in the mix
My insecurities coming to a brew

So now I'm the invisible woman
Transported to a state of sullen
My feel goods suddenly taken
Hopes for your love disheartened
Diana Santiago Sep 2019
Dark wave pulling me under
Dark wave filling my lungs
Dark wave ceasing my breath
Dark wave holding me hostage

Battling them wicked demons
They puncture the fabric of my soul
Using their horns to injure and harm
Leaving my sanity in pieces and shreds

Opaqueness and void paints my everyday
Grey fog envelops my clarity
Storm clouds gather to drench me
And whisk me away in it's murky waters

I don't know who I am
I don't understand why I exist
If there is no purpose there is no point
Living is just a waste of time
Diana Santiago Aug 2019
I hunger to stamp a kiss on your cheek
Pucker my lips and taste your skin
Leave your imprint on my mouth
Of your sweet **** melanin

Your cheek so high and defined
The color of Cafe Au Lait
Smooth like satin sheets
Flawless like a bright clear day

Craving every part of you
But your face I long to touch
Tracing you with my fingertips
Aching for you so very much

Should I someday have the pleasure
To have your cheek pressed up on mine
I will bless you with my kisses
Our hearts forever intertwined
Diana Santiago Aug 2019
As a little girl she always knew
That she lacked something special
Her own mother reminded her constantly
And the lass is now a grown woman

Adult experiences confirmed what was true
That she was just ordinary and dull
A woman with no it factor
Invisible to all before and around her

She's heard and hears stories of other women
Who use their wiles on hungry men
'If only I had that gift I'd feed a hundred of them'
Instead she's bypassed like she's not even there

Old age is catching up to her now
She may as well be thin air
The only ones who see her are other women
But never the men she dreams of

Ordinary is boring and typical
Nothing exciting about this creature
She might as well be dead and buried
Along with any hopes of truly being seen
Diana Santiago Aug 2019
His hair so rich and thick
Spiraling upward higher and higher
Voluminous in appearance
Bold in its statement

Copious curls demanding attention
Natural, beautiful and free flowing
Standing tall to whomever it encounters
Sunlight beaming into its brown hue

It tells a story of bloodline and culture
Narrates history, prejudice, acceptance
Perseverant by nature
Resilient against criticism

I worship his hair from a distance
Yearning to feel it in between my fingers
Kiss his strands one by one
Inhale its scent like aromatherapy
Diana Santiago Aug 2019
Something's gotta change
A force that will finally break the ice
This glacier that separates us two
Your stare an expert at the art of entice

There's a tenacious guard within me
To which your presence overpowers
Instilling fear yet excitement
Erasing my need to cower

When will you finally decide
To give in to your interest in me
Take the initiative, make your move
Release my inhibitions free
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