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The monsters were never
under my bed.
Because the monsters
were inside my head.

I fear no monsters,
for no monsters I see.
Because all this time,
the monster has been me…!
Imprints.
Indelible
imprints.
Every soul
notches a
mark,
an imprint.
Carved
in the
underlying.
Creations
palette.
Realm
of the
unseen.
All energy
leaves
residuals.
Ripples
through
uncertainty.
Through
fie­lds of
probability,
possibilities.
Never
dissipates,
merely
alters.
P­ain and
glee.
Changes
course.
Realities
pop
in and
out.
Here now
gone then.
Always was
in one
form or
another.
Never ending.
Energy is
always.
Conserved.
Existence
never dies.
Seeping through the walls,
Slamming open doors,
Her past haunts her.

Her mouth is taped shut,
With a growling gut,
Shadows taunt her.

She knows that she's here,
With nothing to fear,
Her heart ignores her.

Her lungs force air,
Trying not to stare,
She's in control now.

Scuttering away,
The shadows decay,
Back into memory.
Battling psychosis with PTSD is terrifying but not impossible.
Never ending.
Time.
Space.
Endless.
Worlds
upon
worlds.
Places
as far
as there
is.
All unknown.
Disconnect.
Searching
yet
never
to be
found.
Never
to be
known.
Trapped
imprisoned
within.
Within
the
limitless.
Finite­
boundaries.
Fish
in a bowl.
Limited
scope
struggling
to know
comprehend.
Trapped
within
time
and space.
Imprisoned.
Pigeon holed
for all
eternity.
People notice.
Their eyes and minds,
Focused on you.
Like a street lamp,
Judgment flickers,
Off and on.
You have a reason
That I understand?
No judgement.
You have an excuse
That I can't relate to?
Fix yourself.
Work on yourself.
Blame yourself.
Shape yourself.
Wait.

You are not broken.
There is nothing to fix.
You are whole as you are.
Like Kintsugi
You put yourself back together.
More beautiful than you
Ever were.
I have been taking care of myself for the past 23 years. I am no longer accepting life advice from anyone who believes I'm a project to fix.
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