Girls and ladies dream
Of and desire
A knight in shining armour,
Gallantry and bravery to
Sweep them from their feet
To a happily ever after,

But take it from
One who knows,
No knight that ever fought
For his lady
Had her back,
Has armour shining pure,

It takes sacrifice and
Mental melee - sometimes brutal
To maintain love in this desperate
War called life,
And no man did a hard day's work
Nor fought in war and

Came away unscathed and undirtied,
A true knight's armour,
Though burnished as best may be
And glittering in the sun
Has dents and gouges absent
In a woman's dreams,

Every mistake every failure
Shows in his history and
Cannot be polished out
But that he polishes what remains
Is testament to a true heart,
And a man worth keeping

I dont want to have to rescue you,
Although I always will,
If you call me for aid,

I do not wish to follow you
Over the side into
Waters deep and cold,

Although I always will,
If you call me for aid,

Dont want to save you
From self drowning,
While you fight with me,

Although I always will,
If you call me for aid,

I do want us to swim,
In waters calm and warm,
Together

I always will,
If you call me,

I have always had your back,
And if allowed
I always will,

But I'd love it most
My love,
If you were by my side.

I lost an eight year old,
I don't know where
He is but I'm pretty
Sure he's gone
For good,

Thank God for that small mercy!
He drove me mad
Controlling my ****** life,
Rude and selfish little ****,
Unbearable little ****,

I still have a hurting
Babe in arms though,
Weeping in his pain,
But he is healing fast
As I hold him to my heart

And tell him from
My adult self
That it's okay now,
He is much loved,
And all will indeed

Be well.

Like the moon I have
A dark side,
Just as everybody does,
Even the most amazing
Alabaster lady,

But the most important
Aspect of the moon's
Dark side is not
The darkness but
The mystery,

The unknown unseen
Parts of us,
However my dark has been,
Remains indeed,
Illuminated by

Self knowledge,
A new found self respect,
Self awareness,
Aware of my great worth,
And the value that I bring,

And I finally love who I am,

Now to find the one
Who will admit
They love me too,
Entirely, wholly,
Truly

From the perspective
Of improvement I can see
That there was a lot of
Darkness in me
Or mayhap more an absence
Of light,

I am not  
Nor ever have been
A bad man,
But like many "not bad men"
I have done bad things
To people that I love,

And that does not
Sit easy with me,
But looking deep inside
I can see not so much
That I have changed
As regained my true self,

It is as if that bright pure
Core in me became,
Like the hull of a vessel
At sea
Encrusted with ****
And barnacles,

A lack of awareness of
Other's needs or hurts,
A selfishness and unworthiness
Of action and attitude,
Even towards my kin
And she that I adore,

These things encrusted
My good heart,
My core,
With unworthiness
That dimmed the light
That burns within me,

I am like a sailing ship,
Emptied of loose gear and
Run up on a beach,
Masts hauled down and hull
Heeled hard over,
To expose encrusted planks

To daylight,
Then the indignity
Of scŕaping awày that ****
And in front of one I love
To boot,
But I got my brightness back

And now, like
That sailing ship,
I am newly refloated,
Reprovisioned,
In all respects ready
For sea,

And I wait for
A destination,
And - God willing - a fellow
Vessel to sail with,
Preferably in close company,
Or otherwise

Alone