It was nothing like I imagined
and was everything I wanted it to be

We drove. And drove.
Our destination was a party
We ended up in a field

Everything that had come before
Melted away in the sweet darkness
And yet was as present as the rustling wind

Our shoulders brushed
Our shivers mingled in the frozen air
We were shaking, but we were at peace

Everything past, everything remembered
Forgotten, yet knit together
The pieces picked up, held so close

The roof of my car
Silence, laughter, tears
We owned it all

Holding as tightly as possible
Aching, clutching for more
The space between and around us

I can't explain what happened then
I don't think you could, either
But we went back there again

We drove. And drove.
Nothing declared
Everything (and nothing) understood

Such beauty I've never known
Than the stillness of that night
Everything and nothing.

Sometimes I feel like I’m floating
The things I hold on to so dearly don’t seem to stick
Or rather those whom I hold so dearly
Or rather him
I don’t have any big, existential troubles
I was always loved from the start
It isn’t that.
Everyone wants to share dreams
A hand to hold
A heart to warm
All the clichés.
Good things happen to me
Or rather great things
Even great people
Yet, sometimes I feel like I’m floating
I have a glad heart
Tinged with sadness
Unsure of that caress
So I escape to the gardens
My feet firm on the earth
To feel my skin glow in the sun
To breathe my being out into a whimsical escape
I have learned--
I am learning--
It’s all ok, everything in stride
Always one more stride
To round the corner
To see those eyes
That warm spark in the eyes
That sure caress
I may recognize it
It may be new
But one thing I know
Whatever the result
It’ll be ok

there doesn't have to be wrong and right
who we are is not a fight
pointing guns with trembling hands
waiting for the other to understand
love is more than a heavy heart
we're on the same side

there doesn't have to be yours or mine
always walking a thin line
slinging arrows of black and white
lying on tear-stained sheets at night
there is still magic to be had
we're on the same side

do not date a girl
who writes.
she will internalize
everything,
carve poems
into your eyelashes
instead of
kissing them,

she will analyze you,
calculate age
from the rings
your coffee cup
leaves
instead of refilling it.

she will memorize
the way your
lips curl around steam,
but not that you
take it
two sugars,
no cream.

she will read your
palm instead of
holding it
against her chest.

she will not
blink
when you leave,
because she is
already
romanticizing it.

I lose you
like I lose my mind-

effortlessly.

"Half-sick of shadows"
Yet incessantly longing for the night
A shadow-wrapped liaison
Our skin uttering what we have not

Half-sick of scars
Yet longing to kiss yours
Both of us healed, both of us unsure
Both longing for the clinging dark

Sweet nighttime
Love-drunk revelry
Hands tangled in my hair
Your hands clinging to my thighs

Moonlit heat
Love lit obsession
Lips caress my teardrops
Your pleasure curves my spine

Grasping hands and knowing hearts
In the shadows we find the truth
In the darkness,
In the shimmering stillness,
In the sweet nighttime.