Only upon nightfall does she truly feel.
Gut wrenching, heart aching, raw emotion.
The tears fall as if the drought has passed, and the earth cries, feeding her flowers at last.
It is only in the hours of darkness where her soul blossoms open, her deepest desires spilling over. She looks to the moon for comfort, not knowing whether to curse at the stars or ask them for wishes.

I hope it's raining where you are
So maybe I don’t have to feel the darkness of these clouds on my own
Drowning in my stubborn state of mind
Blinded by the thought of your hands and those eyes
All that’s left are the words we never said
Both too afraid of the battle to be won
Limerence has a finger on the trigger
My heart too big for his hollow soul
I hope you think of me, If only for a moment
I let the rain attempt to wash you away
This storm will pass

And so I’ll live with you inside this day dream we’ve spun
Where innocence dies every night
And I wake to the delicate view of your eyes
This made-for-television screens type of infatuation
I’m always tipsy and you’re always begging for more
No bad feelings or thoughts of what’s to come
We only have the music and our two tongues  
With each fleeting moment, we paint our canvas of desire
Igniting flames that flicker, burning with a passionate fire

I dreamt up a fantasy
and spoke you in front of me
Something real
Something tangible
Now I’m left with these thoughts
These god awful feelings
I’ve made you out to be this thing
This salvation piece
Bound to the wreckage of my home
An escape in the form of blue eyes and soft skin
But you’re made of taking my lace off on the floor
And “You look like you could use another pour.”
I attempt to put you back in the box I pulled you from
You stick between my fingers like a thick golden honey
The sweetness lingering on my tongue as I try to get clean
There’s something in your eyes when I bite back
I think I’m the one doing the saving
What a mess we’ve made

I look at you and I don’t feel him
Your cold stare, tequila talking
The way the tales roll off your tongue
As if you were an honest man
And me your aching story keeper

So much hesitation but I’m no fool
From the taste of you, I know the verdict
You take my hand and it’s too late
Call me by my name, let me swallow your pain

The aftermath is something to let burn
Your touch feels like something sinister
I’m craving the feeling of filling the void
Maybe it’s real, maybe I like to hurt

22nd of September, a rush of fall in the air
White caps of the river racing, a sweater
The settling of my bones,
The feeling of coming home

Stop the alarm, take your shoes
It’s time for your daily juice
Laugh and nod, grin and bear
Don’t forget to brush your hair

Lock your door, draw the blinds
It's ok to want to stay inside
Run the water, mute your cries
Sometimes it feels better to lie

Close your eyes, take your meds
Replaying all the words you never said
Always wishing, always praying
A heart full of hope and a head full of dread