Tori Thornsbrough

Tori Thornsbrough Jan 2017

Every time i hear your voice my heart feels at home like its found its place in a world where home is not known, but its the slight brushes of your finger that lets me know someone out there cares- cares for what i have to say and what i have to feel. I thought I was alone fighting my inner demons on my own but one look into your soul and i found a person who's able to calm my constant fears while simultaneously making me excited for whats to come. You engulf my senses swallowing me whole. I can't even breath without wishing you were mine and mine to hold. In between the glances from opposite sides of the room I've slowly realized that I love you and I'm scared to tell you out of fear that you wont and I'll end up without a home in a place where home is not known.

Tori Thornsbrough Jan 2017

The one I pushed away

My heart literally hurts
My chest is in pain
Life without you
Will never be the same

I can't blame you
Because I did you wrong too
But now that it's officially over
I don't know what to do

We started out as friends
As I denied my feelings
You came to me
You wanted more, with more meaning

I did but I was scared
When you tried to be there, I left
I thought you were better than me
The best man I ever met

As time went on
I regretted my actions
Got caught up in my insecurities
They stopped me from acting

I couldn't believe you chose me
When I knew you deserve better
So I carried on,
As if I never met you

I finally got the nerve
To look you in the eye
Such a beautiful man you are
It shook me inside

I tried to mend what I tore
But the damage was done
I came back too late
You found someone

I'll never forget your smile
I'll never forget your kiss
But your presence in my life
Will forever be missed

Here's to our lost happily ever after.....

Tori Thornsbrough Jan 2017

Depression

Depression is running through my head.
These thoughts make me think of death,
A darkness which blanks my mind.
A walk through the graveyard, what can I find?
Black shadows walk in between the graves,
How many lives have not been saved?
Six feet under, if not more,
How I'd like to go down and explore
The feeling of lying in a box.
I can't get out, is it locked?
Is it day or is it night?
Are birds singing or have bats taken to flight?
I know one day this is where I'll go,
Am I afraid? I don't think so!
Will I be able to explore the feeling of death?
After I've taken my last breath?
Or will I be a shadow in between the graves?
Will I know how many lives have not been saved?
After this life is there another one?
With a different moon and a different sun.
I won't go to hell as I'm already there,
A place full of sadness, a place full of despair.
So there's nothing to live for, no future, no past,
So I might as well end it, end this life at last.

Jan 2017

Victoria Jennings

Frustrated Love

I don't want to love you
But my heart doesn't understand

I can't have you
The love we once had is gone

When I look in your eyes I almost feel it but then you turn it off without a second thought

I however cannot turn off my emotions or my love

And I hate myself for the weight of my love

And I hate myself for being jealous over what's probably nothing

You're not mine
I cannot get jealous

I need to find someone who loves me but I just can't seem to find anyone but you that I can love

My heart is stupid
My mind is screaming
But I'll still turn up in your bed
Still dream of another life
One where maybe
All my dreams come true.

Over thinking making me jealous. I hate that person and I hate that I do. They just frustrate me. And I wish I didn't always love you so much.

Tori Thornsbrough Nov 2015

My Wall

I have built my wall

I have built it high.
I have built it to shield me when I cry.
I have built it to stand through every storm.
I have built to keep me warm.
I have built it to stand tall.
I have built it to never fall.
I have built it to hide me.
I have built it for only me to see.

I have built my wall.

Tori Thornsbrough Nov 2015

Nothingness

I know I'm not worth it.
I know I will never be good enough.
I know I'm alone.

You don't need to tell me I can't do it.
You don't need to tell me you don't love me.
You don't need to tell me to cut myself.

I'm a cutter.
I'm a waste of space.
I'm a mistake.

But I know this and it will never change....

No matter what I do. No matter where I go. And no matter how forgotten I may become...
No one will ever love you more than me. I am forever in love with you. I am yours. Every part of me is yours.
How you use it, well thats up to you. Just know, it was left in your hands.

Tori Thornsbrough Oct 2015

I CUT

I cut because I can see my pain slowly fade away.
I cut because I know things will never be okay.
I cut because my heart will forever be broken.
I cut trying to hide all the feelings that remain unspoken.
I cut because my life is killing me inside.
I cut because it’s something long sleeves and fake smiles can hide.
I cut because I feel alone.
I cut because no other path has been shown.
I cut because it just feels so right.
I cut because the scarlet blood shines so bright.
I cut to feel in control of the pain deep inside,
I cut because it is the only thing in which I can truly confide.
I cut because I feel like there is nothing left to do.
I cut because my heart is slowly breaking in two.
I cut because I know I’m not worth it.
I cut because I’m sick of peoples ****.
I cut because life *****.
I cut because I no longer give a ****.
I cut because I am dying,
I cut because I’m done with the lying.
I cut because it helps me know the bad guy,
I cut because I hope to eventually die.
I cut because people hurt me,
I cut because it’s easy not to let them see.
I cut because no one cares,
I cut because I am afraid of all my tears.
I cut because I hate life,
I cut because I am addicted to the pain of the knife.

Maybe you will finally understand.