She shines at me from across the room
her reflection caught in glass
a radiance like the moon
and in its beauty I bask

She ushers me to sit and wait
and rest my weary mind
I tried to resist it was getting late
for love I was trying to find

She tells me I need not worry
that everything has its time
I mumble that I am sorry
I just wanted to make her mine

She looks at me with glint in eye
her love beckons me forth
I do my best not to cry
this love its all yours

She sings to me beneath the stars
a melody for a captured heart
the song of love that forever lasts
yet soon she has to depart

Taken in the bloom of youth  
now it's God's love that beckons
for he gains what we loose
all angels must return to heaven

Now she calls on summer breeze
and gently brushes my face
tell me why she had to leave
my life without a trace

I am both chaos and order
as I build with bricks and mortar
my fears fade and I grow taller
for I have faced chaos
now I embrace order
but one means nothing without the other
as love means nothing without a lover
so you begin to hate instead of trying to discover
that you need both to have balance
for without peace you have violence
and without sound we have silence
accept all without judgement
don't dismiss show encouragement
turn the other cheek
show them you're strong and not weak
that they're wrong when they speak
as you can't both be right
so let them be left behind
as you walk out of sight.

Still searching for something...

I silently shifted past silhouettes of strangers for I am a shadow formerly named.

Someone said you felt the same, a sorceress seeking solitude inside a spire, a safe haven for all those stolen souls.

She was of the sea and softly spoke to me sowing smoke in weaves but I knew of no vowels that could commit her senses and yet sentences slowly slid from my mouth stolen by gravity towards the south where soldiers slept beneath the sands of sorrow.

Surrounded by sounds shifting from silence to song something sang sweetly secreting secrets only the stars dared keep.

So I buried my past somewhere in tomorrow somewhere I would never reach nor no longer seek for slumber is my only ally as I succumbed to sleep for the final time surrendering my soul to the valley of shapes and signs.

I have so many voices
so I speak for the voiceless
the ones who believe they're worthless
because they too deserve this
to experience love never ending
so let's stop pretending
that it's just for movie stars
on the silver screen
men are not from Mars
we are all in-between
this rock and a hard place
a rose between two thorns
all part of this human race
since the day we were born.

Let's stop running and stand still
for if we truly look
then we will truly feel
the greatest gift ever given
is the fact that we are living
in every moment we are breathing
this magical life we are receiving
for it can't be bought or sold
it's worth more than precious gold
yet this gift was free
didn't cost a penny
so let's give as we receive
then we can all have plenty.

I still remember all the stuff I did
when I was just a little kid
such warm memories
of chasing squirrels and climbing trees
running free and flying kites
I would never flee getting in fights
so much energy riding bikes
no such jeopardy going on hikes.

I would sit for hours
and imagine I had super powers
where I could fly
across the fields
and wave at passersby's
on tops of hills
I used to read so many books
and didn't care about the way I looked
please bring back that small child
so once again I can truly smile.

I believed the world was full with good
that everybody had some food
I guess my parents protected me
so reality I couldn't see
when really its filled with so much bad
where half the world is starving
and the other half sad
why would anyone want to have a child?
to raise them in a world so desolate and wild.

Sometimes I wish I was still ten
but this is now and that was then
I may no longer have my innocence
long since squandered for independence
free to travel where I could only dream
and see the things I've never seen
so I may not smile so easily
or still laugh as freely
but I can love you dearly
for now I understand
so clearly
what it means when you hold my hand
and what it's like to truly kiss
I now know what love really is
not a word thrown about in playgrounds
but something grown from the heart that pounds
only when you are around.

So if I had my time again
to live my life from the age of ten
I wouldn't worry about the little things
or care what the future brings
I would seize every opportunity
Instead of living my life so fruitlessly
I may only write nothing but the truth
but it means nothing without my youth.

When all I receive is silence
when I no longer read your words
when I can't hear your voice
I can only fear the worst
when I'm no longer important
when I'm still not wanted
when my messages go unanswered
a seed of doubt is planted.

I used to be number one
but now I'm too far gone
Do you still feel the same?
Can you even remember my name?
The words you do not say
used to tell me so much
but now they mean go away
now it's please don't touch
leave me to my resting place
I no longer want to look upon your face.

I know you have your reasons
yet the heart endures many seasons
be it spring or summer
now it's past autumn into winter
so cold without the glow you give
so hard for me to live
your winters breath
is all I have left
another cold silent night
without you by my side
I wait steadfast like a tree
for you to stand beneath my canopy.

I impaled a jelly baby with a cable tie
if karma has its way that will be how I die
something mundane and completely stupid
like drowning in a shallow puddle
or skewered by an arrow from cupid
don't worry though I won't put up a struggle
I will slip quietly to the great beyond
then you will have a reason not to reply
there's no cause to repair a broken bond
when I'm living the high life in the sky
I probably won't be wearing a halo
on account of my foolish pride
but I will still attempt to say hello
greetings to you from the other side
so if you notice your books are falling
as if taken by a sudden gust of wind
it will just be this idiot calling
trying to contact a long lost friend.

Your beauty is like a prism,
but all you see is a prison,
trapped in your mind you envision,
a future without relations,
surrounded by temptation,
when all you want is love.

So you bury your feelings,
and hide your emotions,
drowning your demons,
in magical potions,
shying from attention,
avoiding affection,
because you've already been hurt.

Yet I understand you,
for I wore the same shoes,
which is why I still fight,
trying to restore new,
so others can adore too,
your prism of light.

My head betrays my heart
my actions betray my words
I am neither wise or smart
so forget what you heard
forget the myth
I'm none of that
all I have is this
there are no facts
for i only exist
as a collection of thoughts
in my head
in your head
I disappear when I go to bed
I exists not in sleep
only death knows my real name
only for her do I weep
I seek not fortune and fame
just the silence of truth
but it's not a choice I can make
for how do you choose to loose?
to let go of everything that's fake
the superficial world
the artificial machine
I just want to be held
I just want to be seen
cradle me in your arms
let me trace the lines across your palms
so short a life line
a thought ignored the signs
how could eyes be so blind
you lay before me naked
and I left you in the cold
I forsook everything sacred
even though I wanted you to hold
to curl up next to you like a fire
a woman's best friend
walking across the wire
like Churchill's merry men
been warring with myself for years
you got caught in the crossfire
everything seemed so weird
slightly askew
tell me dearest what's right and true
lead my heart like compass
lead me to you.

To dream is all I ask....
to escape is all I need....
to bask in the golden glow whilst time fades silently into the past
oh yonder morn please wait for me
for I exist between this world and next
neither here nor there but in the fractures of space between
a silent stone cast upon a sea of dreams
the ripples awake me now and I am no more.

This poem was written to help others
for all my fellow sufferers
remember that in the darkest gloom
set inside your four walled room
will only last mere moments
it will all be over soon.

Remember all the good times
and why you are alive
this is what I have to do
just to survive.

What doesn't **** you makes you stronger
to live your life a little longer
as you grow older you also grow fonder
of this soul you were born under.

Now as the pain subsides
and the cloud slowly edges away
I think to myself I'm glad
I lived to see another day.

I am what I am
a man with no plan

but I don't understand?
  you don't have a plan

I don't have a plan
what's to understand?

What about your hopes and dreams?

I just dont know I screamed!
Why do I need dreams to succeed
and what is success anyway?
Why can't I just live my life at play

because you have to take things seriously

seriously, but why?

Imagine all the regrets you will have when you die

regrets about not having a plan?
but what if I die before I can fulfil my plan
now its me that doesn't understand
how can I write a story
if its constantly unfolding
it sounds kinda boring
to already know the ending
I would much rather sing
and why do I need a career path
when I would much rather laugh
all this planning seems so daft!

But you have to be a responsible adult

you mean like a banker that steals?
or a soldier that kills?
or a politician that lies?
or a butcher that cuts up animals with knives?

no! no! those are just the extremes!
you got to have dreams!

I do dream
of being free
of being me
no judgements
no labels
just what you see

But what about a vocation?
a location?
somewhere to hang your hat!

life is a vacation
I don't need none of that!

look I am what I am
a man with no plan
you don't have to understand
as long as you can
can what?
just can.

I lost myself to an idea of love
whilst my heart drifted off
on a cascade of crimson tears
they never really fade the fears
lurking in the darkest corners
they're always there to haunt us
so I listen with deep intent
for a whisper of your loves scent
a moment where hearts meet as one
when mine beats not as drum
but as a harp which strings you pluck
my heart was always yours to buck
to buck and break at slightest whim
my love you take on nightly winds
blowing away my earthly desires
as my body it surely tires
and loose myself once again
my heart, my lover, my oldest friend.

I caught you browsing books
like you could ever be caught
for I would dangle my hook
but the line was too short.

A salmon swimming down river
such a beautiful fish
you said you were a singer
to catch you would be my wish.

But I would throw you back
because you don't belong with me
it's great to admire beauty
but all fish belong to the sea.

We've been circling each other for months
two kindred spirits caught in a death stance
I see your vulnerabilities lined up like dominoes
but don't worry I'm here to slay your foes.
A worm is buried in your system
so deep in your head it affects your wisdom.
I will stand by your side always to protect you
I will never leave, hurt or reject you
I may not be the strongest, fastest or smartest
but for you I will work the longest and hardest
until all our demons are dead and gone
as we stand here all alone
on a desert plain, no sun, moon or rain
just two kindred spirits.

Oh what a beautiful day
bathed in golden sun rays
my problems are carried on a gentle breeze
as if blown like cobwebs by a sneeze
so far away.

I can feel the sunlight penetrate the dark recesses of my soul
for yesterday's sorrow
has been banished to tomorrow
no longer hacked to death
by Winter's breath
or torn to shreds
by the thought's in my head
I need only embrace
standing face to face
with the sun
in front of everyone.

I just smile
like every other man, woman and child
with warm greetings
in the outside heating
I finally feel accepted
part of the family
no need to be hectic
for my anxieties are a distant memory
so far away
on such a beautiful day.

If seeing is believing
then I guess you will be leaving
every emotion, every feeling
that you were receiving
behind.

For every person you have ever loved or even hated
you once shoved or even dated
was just a lie
as love and hate are just emotions
a state of being
a set of notions
that don't involve seeing.

A blind man doesn't need his eyes
to see the truth
on them he does not rely
he just needs the proof
as through his minds eye he can realise
because his minds eyes are his real eyes.

For he does not see the wind
but feels his coat being pinned
to his very skin
and can't visualise electricity
but with his real eyes he does see
that the power it generates
is real to he.

Now even though we can't see God
doesn't make him a concept of mans mind
dreamt up by all mankind
all you have to do is read
his very word through the bible
then you too will believe
and be liable to see.

The truth from fiction
the reality from prediction
for every past conviction
isn't a contradiction
as some would have you believe
because they only use their eyes to see.

Now even though you're reading this with your eyes
you're now slowly starting to realise
that believing comes from the mind and being wise
for the eyes are just deceiving
and seeing isn't believing.

I could tell you a story
though it may not be true
about pain so gory
of a heart ripped in two.

In legend it is told
a tail thats spun
upon lies was sold
and now its begun.

There was once a man
that gave it all
without a plan
not afraid to fall.

I guess he was naive
as his heart was on display
attached to his sleeve
and on it she did prey.

For he met a girl
or she found him
like a precious pearl
that shined within.

But also without
for he tried to grab it
and she had her doubts
as it was writ...

That never can such a jewel be owned
nor can you claim another's heart
for all beauty is only on loan
till such a time you must part.

I hate the word suicide
probably because I can relate to that pain inside
so whenever I hear that word
I pretend it's something else I heard
like vending machines
or if those that vend can also dream
do machines really dream of electric sheep?
and instead of snoring do they actually beep?
is the food not dropping another form of rejection?
even though it's taken my money into it's collection
these are the sort of things I question
as I think of vending machines
instead of my suicidal tendencies.

My pen is my sword
and my strokes are broad
to cut away
at death and decay
the ink is the blood
that I have shed
my thoughts so real
you have read
to allow you to feel
my pain instead.

I write what I know
not for show
or to impress
I invest
my heart and soul
into every line and verse
my agony is real
every word I feel
or have felt
for this deal
I have been dealt
not aces
but deuces
yet I still reduce this
to a single atom
how can you fathom
this much pain
the mental strain
that it takes
from the moment I wake
till my last breath intake
I forsake all happiness
for the sake of anything less
then victory.

Do your ears deceive
or your eyes what you read
I will do anything to succeed
I was born battle ready
my arm grapple steady
for my life’s course
was already set
as my life force
is not easily met
no sat-nav needed
or teachers heeded
for I have featured
in so many battles
and always succeeded
could you take a fatal blow
to your temporal lobe
without being K.O'ed?
'cause I'm still walking
fighting fear with fear
still grinning ear to ear
I have no equal or even peer.

I am a black dot on a piece of paper
a single mark within the infinite
you have already erased her
all that’s left is sin and dirt
this skin does hurt
the pain is real
it’s a slow boring
that’s reduced me to kneel
my words are boring
but I continue to write still
maybe I will find the answers
somewhere between the lines
if only I could have asked her
instead, we only drew knives
to cut away at each other’s flesh
to reveal the emptiness inside
now her surname is death
and I’ve run out of places to hide
so slip your ring upon my finger
let my breath taste like winter
for I am just a black dot
a single mark
what you forgot
left in the dark
a tired writer
she had all the strength
I am nothing like her
I can’t even repent
I know I was meant to learn
from all my mistakes
but all I do is burn
amidst all that is fake
I can’t change the world
I couldn’t even change her heart
just a stupid boy that loved a girl
now a black dot a single mark.

What if life is just a video game?
- or a feature film told frame by frame
What is our single aim?
- to seek respect, fortune and fame.
How many golden coins make a life?
How many respect points for a house, kids and wife?
What if we choose to wander off the path?
- to play it just for kicks and a laugh.
Is the character i inhabit just a mask?
- to hide from realities grasp.

How long must i continue to play life's game?
- constantly running from danger rather than facing the pain.
Sometimes I drift through levels with ease
or sit here wondering will it ever cease
if only real life was simple as entering cheat codes
or switching over to an easier mode
so I can have invulnerability and never get hurt
instead of sitting here on constant alert
sometimes i wonder why I've opted to play
when i can just eject myself from life's disc tray.

For Mario his main aim is to rescue Peach
likewise my true love is out of reach
not in distance and time
but in resistance of mind.

...and so the end credits begin to roll
as the hero nears his goal
but the many battles have taken their toll.

Yet still one final boss left to destroy
what tactics shall I employ?
- go out in a blaze of glory
and explode like a supernova
Thus is the end of the story
no life left, game over.

I have fantasies
where you belong to me
not as a slave
or a bird in a cage
but as a promise
something exclusive
shared between us
a capsule of time
where you'll always be mine
two hearts of one mind
to love more than simple words
to fly free like the birds
not contained within a cage
or what I write upon a page
an ode to love is just that
words strung like Cupid's bow
I plant them and watch them grow
into poems forged from love
and cast into solid gold
to form a band around her finger
where it will be till the day is old
when memories no longer linger
we may not be able to reminisce
but I shall always remain
this is my promise.

I wore my England shorts today
as a form of camouflage
so that I could remain at large
amongst the crowds of yobs
it's amazing how they can afford so much beer
without having jobs

a group of them approached
asked if I had a light
I said I never smoked
but there's a torch app on my phone
which is pretty bright

then one of the three
roared at me
It's coming home!!
to which I didn't reply
as I went back to my phone
afraid it was some form of mating cry

Lovers are like vampires they either bleed you dry or grant you immortality with a single kiss.

If my heart is my compass,
then you are true north,
the first and the last,
the only set course,
you are also the east,
and the south,
the most and the least,
my home and my house,
the only one to which I invest,
because you also are my west.

For you are the present,
the here and the now,
the reason I don't relent,
the why and the how,
if there was a question,
you would be my answer,
the name that I mention,
as you are simply her.

If home is where the heart is
then with you is where I shall live
for without you I have no home
without you I'm all alone.

I've given you the key to mine
so that you will never get lost
that you can always find
your way home at any cost.

As through my hearts entrance
you will find your resting place
for its with you I entrust
my love that's encased.

Its key you did take
so please don't be careless
nor my love forsake
and leave my heart homeless.

Oh learned friend where did you go?
t'wards heavens peak beneath the snow
to bury your heart atop a mountain  
where bitter wars had once raged
there many men were also slain
a battle yourself had been engaged
in loves fair and fortuitous name
hurry not to claim a maidens hand
for though beautiful the pursuit
all is and will render to the land
and any requests silenced like mutes
for if words can no longer be spoken
and the ink of quills runneth dry
then hearts will no more be broken  
nor can such lips utter another lie
only sweet truth radiates from being  
as will loves voice finally be heard
for all that remains is the seeing
of God's unadulterated word.

I am a soldier of fortune
but my fortune is not ruin
or even gold
it's life that I hold
in my hands
as a soldier of God
I stand before you
to reveal man's duplicity
of our so called democracy's
the elected officials
yet the only thing official
is there are so many issues
with man-made governments
so many wars
and so much poverty
another lost cause
for all to see.

I have no allegiance to parliaments
and presidents
or the flags they fly
***** rags soaked in the blood of those who've died
and the tears of families left behind who cry
my only loyalty is to God and his theocracy
to expose mankind's hypocrisy
how nation rise up against nation
and man against man
for God is our only salvation
how do you not understand?
I do not need a sword and a shield
as Gods word is more powerful then anything you could wield
It has the ability to change minds
and to save lives
the ability to expose true intentions
and dispose of Satan's inventions.

Satan's sinister ploy
to cause havoc and destroy
the lives of many
that follow his worldly governments
enticed by riches of plenty
for his entertainment
like puppets on a string
they do no thinking
just further sinking
into depravity
lets pray its over soon
that God ends their blasphemy
and brings them to ruin
so I no longer have to be
a Soldier of Fortune.

Back and forth it goes around the room
been here all day and now its noon
just me and my homies laid back, relaxing
each one of us lyrically waxing
as we take turns to do a line
heads down to the grind
eyes are looking a little puffy
**** this work makes you hungry
got me some major munchies
as I grab another pretzel
writing poetry with a blunt pencil.

My names Derek
I'm a zombie
meet my friend Eric
he's also like me
a walking corpse
dead behind the eyes
we met at the shops
surrounded by flies.

Where the dead meet
by the frozen food isles
looking for our pound of flesh
blood splattered on the tiles
mmmmmm so delish!
empty stands
just frozen fish
we use our hands.

Nothing can quench our hunger
or satisfy our desires
not the fishmonger
or the burning tires
for this is anarchy
as we feed
gone is our sanity
so watch us bleeeeed
we are all zombies!

How I hunger for the taste of your lips
as we meet in the night like two passing ships
I would lay anchor in your bay
and spend the time to and fray
until your bough breaks
or dawn chorus wakes
then I would be on my way.

With a farewell greeting
for our fateful meeting
as our love like the night was fleeting
remembered only in tale
a sailor's fable
of two passing ships.

Heartfelt promises
from loves young novices
secrets told in haste
tears shed that have gone to waste
no smart sensibility
open hearted vulnerability
giving it all away
with these three words that they say
the meaning lost in translation
the heavy cost of this relation
not a notch on the bedpost
but a knot in her throat
pretending to cope
relying on faith and hope
down on bended knee
not in proposition
but to he who sees
for this is our religion
praying to the man upstairs
cameras connect our adjourning stares
the artificial eyes
that glance at the sky
waiting for the rain
praying for a change
in circumstance
so once more they can sing and dance.

Live young
and love strong
for nothing created from the heart is wrong
even if you feel the pain
it proves its real
you're not insane
for every moment suffered in grief
will come a day which brings relief
so don't allow your heart to hesitate
or allow the twists of fate
for its course to dictate
take charge of how you feel
because people will tell you it's not real
they will say give up the fight
that you can't afford to chase the light
but it's that light that keeps us alive
without it we're just dead inside
an empty machine
without love we just sleep not dream
counting down the hours
till we shut down
pushing up flowers
from an earthly mound.

Sunshine my lover
it's darkness under covers
so turn on the light
let's pretend it's not night
sing to me the morning chorus
the night owl will only bore us
pretty though the nightingale
the stars remind us we are frail
yet one star shines brightest
one star knows not what night is.

We shall marry in the morning
whilst the merry birds at dawn sing
father time walks down the path
if only our union could last
as honeymoon begins to fade
beneath the afternoon shade
please don't give up on me yet
it's not time for you to set
allow me an endless summer
let the autumn stay in slumber
hold tightly onto leaves
caress me with your summer breeze
shower me with golden rays
need not count down the days.

I cannot survive another winter
it's already been once since her
my bride left just after noon
I lost my lover to a crescent moon
all that remains is her reflection
no longer looks in my direction
passed long ago over the horizon
heaven and earth divided by a line
you belong above no longer to be mine
farewell my sunshine.

We are all following footsteps in the dirt
all hiding from the hurt
just running scared
they told us to be prepared
but prepared for what?

How can you prepare for the unknown?
for who knows what grows from the seeds we sow
the future is uncertainty
when dealing with reality
all plans are futility
as we free-fall to gravity
through the clouds
its all just sights and sounds.

Beyond every horror and darkened room
just round the corner death does loom
but death is nothing, what ceases to exist
how can you be scared of nothing, why do you resist?
One day those footsteps will suddenly end
and there will be no reason left to pretend
in that moment it will all be clear
that the footsteps you were following was actually fear.

It's fear that holds us prisoner
each night and every day
it's fear that roots us to the spot
or makes us run away
it's fear that binds our tongue
when words we want to say
it's fear that clouds our minds
that keeps mankind at bay.

There's nothing to fear but fear itself
how I wish there was something else
to justify the hurt inside
to explain the pain that abides
the very thoughts that repeat and grind
constantly upon my mind
like clouds of acid rain
that slowly drive a man insane
oh death your bitter taste i feign.

They say talking to yourself is a sign of madness, but who cares what they say no one else can hear them.

I'm not perfect
so much chaos lurks beneath the surface
I feel so useless
so worthless
I have all these thoughts and feelings
that are festering within
maybe I should be kneeling
asking forgiveness for my sins.

It's so hard to be good
when I'm surrounded by bad
It's so hard to do what I should
when I get so mad
with frustration
at my situation
the fact that it's my own doing
that I brought about my own ruin
only makes things worse
I dig my own grave
my soul I cannot save.
Now the die has been cast.

If only I could travel back to the past
to my ten year old self
back when I was innocent
before I worried about wealth
before I viewed adult content
before I knew what *** meant
he would be so ashamed
how I've blackened his name
but even though I'm so ****** up
we're still the same
buried deep within
just sleeping.

He would point out the obvious
to which I am oblivious
follow your dreams
the ones you had before your teens
forget that your brain has taken you hostage
and focus on the positive
the people that love you
and the love that is new
the ones that are closest
then you will make progress.

Maybe I just need that talk
to tell me I'm not a complete wreck
that I can be salvaged
that none of us are perfect
I just have to fix the damage
then maybe I can manage
to continue my journey
I guess its kinda funny
the things that I thought made me free
are the same things that have undone me.