i have just moved all our pictures
into the hidden folder
the graveyard of memories
my heart aches with endless yearning
sorrow, grief and regret

our love was so short-lived
like a helpless little kitten
that died before it ever got a chance
to fully experience the wonders of life

our love was a flickering candle flame
that burnt so bright
and fizzled so soon

my tattooed golden retriever
my soldier, my love
you said it was "right person, wrong time"
but what if the timing could never favour upon us?
what if we could never find our way back to each other?

I long to weave my thinking into phrases,
before the account of nostalgic moments ceases.
I wish to pen every moment, each picture that I've beheld
and I want to word all of the yearnings withheld.

what is this madness, this endless chase?
to record on a thin sheet all that took place.
Happenings and incidents I try to compile,
is this meaningful or just futile?

For sometimes it feels they'll crawl out of me
and without a glance back, run free.
and I'd not have the strength to stand,
on my wobbling legs and stretch my hand.

I don't know if this feeling's a little gray
I know somethings that have to stay
will not require me to hold tight
yet losing them builds a fright

She loves me, she loves me not.

That is the cycle life had adapted for me to ride, through day and night, then sunshine and rain.

It feels as if a sickening game, what is life daring for me to partake? A dangerous charade where both of us find ourselves staring out into nothing.
—the clock ticks once.. then twice... Not a third.


She looks at me with those eyes so that I cannot help but crave her embrace, it is wrong for me to be so.. selfish.
Must you look at me like that as while slipping you're hand into mine?

As the seasons begin to shift, a whole other cycle once again spirals much like that of an aimless soap opera plot.
Yearning, solemness, jealousy, then departure. Again.. and again...

I am filthy, but please... do not toss me away, you promised.. you promised that if I gave you my heart and soul, the world would be mine through you're eyes.

Yet only half.. of that deal had been transacted, I am now nothing but a robot without batteries.
I am scared..
I feel disgusted...

Just a minute longer within you're warmth before you go, he was right.
I should have stopped and glanced into the other direction that day, the day that you had looked at me the way that turns my stomach in knots now..

Will you be mine? My Valentine?
—no, I know that you love another.
But I can't... I cannot stop thinking of you.

I shall be you're precious doll if you ask me too, I will.. I will even set my heart ablaze so you can sleep without the loud beating of my heart beside you.


So why him? That boy who called you that 'girl in my math class'
He won't be good, just as the boy before him and so on..
I love you, I love you much more than I should..

That being the main reason of my despair, the borderline of why I am now sitting in a corner and slowly losing strands of my very hair.
So please.. please... Please.... See me the way I see you my dear.

I want to feel the warmth like those princess's within those fairytales, you're long hair seeping over my shoulders as I feel the embrace I so desperately desire.
Please...
That is all I ask of you...

Be mine, as I shall be yours my dearest..