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Ashwin Kumar Feb 2022
You know the famous saying
All good things come to an end
This applies to weekends as well
Or in this case, Sundays
Because I was forced to work yesterday
Due to a massive project
Which will keep me occupied
For a good three weeks
Including two Saturdays
Hence, all the more reason
To positively dread the start of tomorrow
Ah yes, the infamous Monday
Something that terrifies me
More than climbing Mount Everest
Or entering a lion's den
Or earning the wrath of a cobra
I can go on and on
But I think I've made my point
Yes, Mondays are bad
Especially if you've enjoyed the weekend
As much as I did
Notwithstanding working on Saturday
So, do you want to know
What makes tomorrow twice as bad
As any other Monday?
Firstly, as mentioned earlier
I am working on a big project
Probably my biggest in the last three years
Secondly, while the going has been smooth so far
Things are going to get tricky
So far, all I have accomplished
Is pure research
But now, I'll have to start calling people
And these are not recruitment calls
Which are relatively straightforward
On the other hand
I am entering pure sales territory
Which may not be a big deal
For most "normal" people
But for someone who is autistic
It is a different ballgame altogether
In fact, it is like steering a ship
Through the Bermuda Triangle
And finally
The biggest roadblock
In my long and treacherous path
Is not the candidates
Not even the client
But my accursed laptop
Whose ability to perform under pressure
Is even less than that of South Africa
In a global cricket tournament
Ashwin Kumar Dec 2021
There are times
When you work your hardest
When you burn the midnight oil
Yet, it is not enough
Because, the pile of work besides you
Grows taller and taller
Till it outgrows Mount Everest
As you process this
And arrive at a decision
That the first thing to do
Is to take a nap
In order to clear your head
And ensure your mind is fresh
You receive a call
From that hated client
Your nemesis-in-chief
For years and years
A client that has pushed you
To the very brink
On a number of occasions
A client that has kept you on your toes
Only to pull the rug from under your feet
At the eleventh hour
As you take the call
You hope against hope
That they are bringing good news
But your hopes are brutally dashed
As they inform you
With apparent smug satisfaction
That your candidates
Who have been interviewed
After more than a month of inaction
Are all rejected
Thus, you have to start all over again
And ****! Just like that
All those months of hard work
Have gone down the drain
And that is not all
This is merely an addition
To the gargantuan pile of work
That lies on your desk
As you take another look at it
You feel ready to pass out
To all those who've read till here
This may come as a shock
However, the reality is
This is just a day in Recruitment
Ashwin Kumar Nov 2021
For days and days
Weeks and weeks
Months and months
You work the hardest you can
You burn the midnight oil
You sacrifice a lot of things
That you hold dear
Whether it be cricket
Whether it be mobile games
Whether it be online shows
Whether it be exercise, even!
After all your sincere efforts
You are surely bound to think
That success would follow you
However, you are in for a rude shock
Far from being rewarded with success
You are instead punished
With failure after failure
As your efforts go down the drain
One after the other
Until all you are left with
Is a massive pile of zeroes
A reflection of your  rejection
By the candidates
By the clients
And, last but not the least
By your laptop itself!
Recruitment is such a devil
Ashwin Kumar Aug 2021
Another day goes by
When you work your hardest
And yet, you are left with nothing
To show for your hard toil
All those hours you spent
Searching for the right profiles
All those hours you spent
Calling as many candidates as possible

Another day goes by
When the world of Recruitment
Lures you into its *****
With a lot of false promises
Only to grab you
In a vice-like grip
At the eleventh hour
And try and choke you into submission
In the same way
An anaconda coils itself
Around its hapless prey
And squeezes it to death

Another day goes by
When you toil away
Like there is no tomorrow
Searching for candidates
In every nook and cranny
But, with every candidate
It is the same story
They are not interested
Not for this particular client
A client which calls itself "mid-market"
But is actually rather small
Some candidates are quite friendly
Some are just polite
Some, downright rude
And others don't even bother
To pick up their phone
The bottomline is
This client just won't sell
And as yet another day goes by
I wonder what have I done
To deserve such an unwanted burden
Upon my hapless shoulders
A rant about a very difficult (Investment Banking) role to close with a small client of ours that candidates mostly say no to.
Ashwin Kumar Apr 2021
Are you a human being?
Or are you an agent of Satan?
Are you capable of any good?
Or is it utterly pointless
To keep such expectations?
You live only for money
And your employees are mere tools
To be used one day
And thrown away another day

Are you a human being?
Or are you an agent of Satan?
Your employees sacrifice so much
By burning the midnight oil
Every day, every week
Every month, every year
Some of them have to do it
Just to make ends meet
And you deny them
Such a basic thing as salary
For an entire year

Are you a human being?
Or are you an agent of Satan?
During these mad times we live in
With many people dying
And many more getting infected
You still care about work only
Of course, your employees are just robots
But, if they are robots
Why are they getting infected as well?

Are you a human being?
Or are you an agent of Satan?
With every passing day
The situation is getting worse and worse
As the virus is spreading everywhere
Including amongst your employees
Yet, you still act like Emperor Nero
Who was content to play the piano
While his beloved Rome burned
Is it not your duty
To create a safe environment
For all your employees?
Should you not make it a priority
To ensure that they all work from home?
Instead, your lust for control is such that
You would rather prefer
Your employees to risk their lives
Just so that you can watch over them
Just the way the monster Cerberus
Guards the gates to Hell

Are you a human being?
Or are you an agent of Satan?
You may be a Founder of a company
But you lack basic goodness
And unless you mend your ways
You and your husband
Will die a dog's death
The sooner that day comes, the better
So that your employees
Can start leading a normal life again
Free from your evil influence
This is a rant to the boss of my best friend, in whose company many employees have been infected with COVID19 and she still expects everyone to come to office.
Ashwin Kumar Apr 2021
When will you ever be satisfied?
Work, work and work
That's all you want us to do
Never mind that it's a Saturday
That we have a life of our own
That we have a family
That we've already burned the midnight oil
With no rewards for our hard labour

When will you ever be satisfied?
We all know the famous saying
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Do you want us all to be Jacks?
Are we humans or machines?
What ever happened to work-life balance?
We work for hours and hours
In front of a computer screen
Is this fair to our eyes?

When will you ever be satisfied?
We handle multiple roles
We handle multiple clients
We run a huge risk
In upsetting a few clients
In order to satisfy your favourite client
But will that particular client
Justify its enormous price tag?

When will you ever be satisfied?
We never get our incentives on time
Yet we rarely complain
We patiently put in all the hard yards
Waiting for months, in vain
At the huge risk of burnout
You will never be able to replace us
Yet your lust for control is such
That you will never be satisfied
This is a rant to my boss who has been driving us mad for the last 4-5 days; including making us work on a Saturday.
Ashwin Kumar Mar 2021
What do you know, really?
About the midnight oil I burn
About the sacrifices I make
About the long waits I endure
As you find numerous excuses
To delay my salary and incentives
About the pain I endure
In order to share resumes on time
Even as my stomach muscles burn

What do you know, really?
About what goes in my work
About the amount of time I spend
With my eyes glued to the screen
Searching every nook and corner
For the ideal candidate
Even as my eyes protest vociferously
About the calls I make
Hoping to convert every one of them
Into a successful lead
But instead ending up in rejections
Even as the pressure mounts on me
To find at least two good resumes
By the end of a long day
A tedious and totally exhausting day

What do you know, really?
About the various situations
I have to deal with in my life
About the efforts I put in
To ensure that work is not affected
At any cost, whatsoever
About my Asperger Syndrome
And the difficulties it puts me in
Whether personal or professional

The list goes on and on
You may be a Founder
And me just a team member
But as far as my ordeals are concerned
What do you know, really?
A rant to my boss about not understanding my side of things.
Ashwin Kumar Jun 2020
Every week, every day
Every hour, every minute
You pile on the pressure
The same way a python
Slowly, but surely
Coils itself around its prey
The hapless rabbit struggles hard
But its efforts are entirely in vain
As the python tightens its grip
And chokes the rabbit into submission
The poor prey can only pray
As the serpent opens its mouth wide
And devours the rabbit whole

Every week, every day
Every hour, every minute
You expect us to close roles
At the speed of light
As it were child's play
As they say, ignorance is bless
While a pandemic is raging
And many people are losing their jobs
And many more, their lives even
All that matters to you is money
Money, that you don't pay us on time
And yet expect results from us
After all, you can't have the cake
And eat it too!

Every week, every day
Every hour, every minute
You take us for granted
You expect the impossible from us
But have you ever realised
The pains we go through
In order to satisfy your unreasonable demands?
Have you ever considered the fact
That we are also human beings?
What would you do
If we decided to abandon you?
It is easy to lose good employees
But a herculean task to replace them
Your firm would be finished for good
You would end up bankrupt
And there would be infinite time left
To reflect on what may have been
Had you been a little more understanding
A little more considerate
A little more human
A poem dedicated to my boss. Enough said!!
Ashwin Kumar May 2020
How cruel can you be?
How heartless can you be?
Every month, every week
Every day, every hour
Every minute, every second
You subject your employees
To nothing but abject slavery
In the name of hard work
In the name of targets
But in reality, just to satisfy
Your unquenchable thirst for money
Your insatiable greed for power

How cruel can you be?
How heartless can you be?
You expect results at the speed of light
But you do not provide your employees
The necessary resources
After all, do you think
They are all Harry Houdinis
Capable of pulling rabbits out of hats?

How cruel can you be?
How heartless can you be?
Your employees burn the midnight oil
And brave Hell for you
Some of them are forced to do it
Just to make both ends meet
And you have the sheer nerve
To deny them their pay
Which they have so richly earned
After weeks and weeks of toil

How cruel can you be?
How heartless can you be?
Mark my words, the time will come
When you will pay for your deeds
Till now, you have been lucky
Fate has been on your side
However, things will soon change
Your company will be in free-fall
You will be in debt
With nowhere to turn
As your employees will desert you
One by one
Not even a Houdini can save you then
This poem is a message to the owners of the company where my best friend works; she has not been paid the salary since June 2019!!
Ashwin Kumar Oct 2019
Are you a human being?
Or are you an agent of Satan?
Do you value human life?
Or do you consider it disposable?
Do you understand love?
Do you understand kindness?
Do you understand empathy?
If not, are you fit to run a company?
Are you fit to be a boss?
Are you fit to be an HR?
Are you fit to work at all?

You have been blinded
By your fanatical zeal for results
By your overpowering greed for money
By your insatiable lust for power
For you, employees are robots
Tailor-made for your animalistic needs
Which cannot be satisfied
By any sane human being
For the sake of your whims and fancies
Which change at the speed of light
Several innocent lives are being ruined
Today, it is the employees who are doomed
Tomorrow, it could be your husband
The day after, it may even be your daughter
And this vicious cycle will go on and on
With no end in sight
Therefore, for the sake of humanity
It is only just
That you are banished from Earth
Down to the all-consuming darkness of Hell
Where you will rot, for eternity
And the world shall be happier for it
The title is fairly self-explanatory!
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