what a wicked thing i was.
i turned back, anyway.

the devil i dealt with 
wasn’t a devil at all,
it called itself her fate,
took my place by her side
and told her it was time to go, 
everyone was waiting 
down below,

the devil she dealt with 
wasn’t a devil at all, 
i called myself her lover, 
and she loved me in kind, 
and when she’d gone
i couldn’t understand
why she’d leave me behind,

if nothing else
i had to see her
one last time,

the devil we dealt with 
wasn’t a devil at all,
it called itself inevitable
yet decided to let us go,
said it would see us again
one day, together 
down below,

i didn’t think to ask her
what she wanted,
if the hands of fate
were warmer than my own. 
if i had kept on looking forward, 
maybe i would know.

what a wicked thing i was. 
i turned back, anyway. 

                                                       ­                                       "was she upset?"

i couldn’t say. 
she smiled the whole time,
and when she disappeared
it was all she left behind.

I compare everything to you
It really isn't fair
From the way they roll their eyes
To the shade of their hair

I fear that no one could ever come close
To being as great as you
With your wicked sense of humor
And glacier eyes so blue

How could I ever settle
After experiencing the best?
It almost burns my cheek
Laying on a stranger's chest

Although I have been single for months
It doesn't feel that way in my heart
I suppose I will always be emotionally unavailable
No matter how long we are apart

I hate the constant loneliness
So I seek comfort in foreign places
But never find the warmth I am searching for
Just different detached faces

You left a hole inside of me
So large it can never be filled
No matter how many times I wring out
I can't mop up all the blood that's spilled

And anyone who dares come near
Only ends up hurt and broken
Because each word directed delicately
Doesn't surpass the ones past spoken

I guess I need to accept the truth
Happiness is permanently out of range
I am aware it's long after the time to let go
Why am I clutching onto what I cant change?

I have tried to find another fish
But I'm drowning in the ocean
Those who say I could do so much better
Have obviously never handled such emotion

They don't understand the magnetism
The irresistible pull I can't shake
You haunt every nightmare that wracks my mind
Each daydream when I'm awake

I try to look at other men
With the same adoring stare
But I don't have eyes for anyone else
No passion or patience to spare

I know there was a time in my life
Before you lit it up with your glow
But I don't remember how it felt
It was so many years ago

I've grown dependent on your touch
Was in shock when you ripped it away
There are other arms to help carry me
I just wish that yours was here to stay

No other skin is as soft and sweet
Nobody else has a hug as tight
No sweat besides yours smells exactly like home
No kiss except yours could ever feel right

There are other guys as tall as you
They may even have freckles just the same
But even an exact replica
Wouldn't sound like you when saying my name

Once you find 'the one' you know
Pursuit of other endeavors you stop
You can't climb any higher than the peak
And baby you were my mountaintop

You gave me everything I needed and more
It seemed like you barely had to try
We were almost always on the same page
Until out of nowhere you said goodbye

But I still picture your mischievous smile
Every night as I lie in bed
I've attempted to replace your photos
But they linger in my heavy head

And the sparkle ignited in your eyes
When you map my curves with your gaze
Is impossible to duplicate or outdo
Like the goosebumps you effortlessly raise

I wish and wish with all my might
For the strength to be alright all alone
But all I get are leaden feet
And memories that cut to the bone

Everyone says my wounds will heal
It just takes time and I will mend
But it's been 20 weeks of consistent hell
I haven't yet begun to see the end

I wish I could enjoy one moment
Without wistful nostalgia clouding my brain
These hopeless comparisons cause damage
Longing driving me insane

I know I cannot have you
You are no longer mine to hold
Silent treatment has never said so much
Your shoulder never felt so cold

It's hard to imagine you at peace
With someone new by your side
After all that we've been through together
Now you're drifting out with the tide

I am glad you discovered what you were missing
I hope she is everything I'm not and more
But would you answer honestly if I asked
Was it better the way it was before?

I can't get caught in love no more,
Love can get real twisted real quick,
EMOTIONS involved changes everything,
Can't make promises,
Things always happen unexpectedly,
EMOTIONS can get the best of you.

Web of lies get real wicked,
Web of destruction gets real twisted,
Web of love is dangerous,
The webs ties you in deeper and deeper,
Can't help who we get tied into and with,
Our EMOTIONS take over our judgement.

Loving the wrong one can have somewhere you don't wanna be. Loving the wrong way will show you things that you thought you'd never see with your eyes. Love is more fatal than the drugs we take.
Your heart can mislead you,
Follow your mind not your heart.

For concealing myself from the wicked eyes of melancholy , I tightly hug reverie and melt into its fragrance on intertwining with it as a twinkling soul.

Is this real life?
Or is it just another dream
This one is different
This one is powerful
As breathtaking as a miracle
Like a lake
Calm and serene
Is this really what it seems?
Life is confusing
Producing
Curiosity
Reciprocity
Important and given
That smile melting away the madness
Wondrous and willful
Whimsically wearing down my walls
Driving me wild
With it's mild
Wickedness
But I digress
Not sure what this means
Still seems like a dream
But I realize
This is reality
And I'm pretty stoked...

Wicked is your tongue

Saying forgive me

And I am sorry

Love is poisonous

From your mouth

I feel tainted and alone

Each touch that grazes my skin

I wonder if I could just leave

With you hand lingering in the air

Tangled in my shadow

Would you keep drowning

In your insincerity

Or would you finally realize

You will never have me