i remember a secret i was once told
of all the things you tried to hold
but they slipped away into the night
fading between the shadows cast by the mornings light
the next day they were merely a memory
but you never forgot that pain in reverie
trying to grasp what was lost
in the hopes that when you find it next
it will not rot

but when i saw you there, i knew
what i found was something that drew me in
what i found was an idea lost
ill-begotten by my own memories, past
of all the people that gave up on my heart too

we all become broken at some point
feeling so lost and empty, disjointed from the world
our very bones and heart aching alike
and sometimes when our worlds are shattered
all it takes is time to pick up all the pieces
the little things that mattered most
sometimes lost to the gentle wisp of breath we exhale
a sigh of relief that at the very least
we can finally have the chance to let go
and begin anew

but when i heard your cries and felt your tears
when i saw you smiling with empty fears
that all good things i have to share are fallacies to endure
i knew then that you already had my heart
you were the one i was looking for all along
and i just wanted to embrace every quality of your person
every scar and every bit of pain, i intend to simply take away
and replace it with a warmth to set you aflame
so you may shine brighter than the sun

i know we all sometimes forget who we are
and in those times we fall harder upon our knees
whispering ill omens of fate or fates which can not be
but trust me dear they're right there, for you
from me, they're all i wish to give you, please
just to find a place in my heart that will never let you go
and never let you down, with open arms
i just want to finally give you a place to call your own
i want to give you all my heart, and call it home

I thought I saw you yesterday
Just walking down the street
But it was only someone who looked like you

I thought I felt you last night
Hugging me close so I wasn't afraid
But it was only a dream that I soon woke from

I thought I heard you this morning
Calling my name from the kitchen
But it was only my sister using a funny voice

I thought you were with me just now
Telling me everything would be okay
But it was only the thoughts inside my own head
Missing you

my heart used to wonder about all

of the foreign places we’d visit and the

translucent stops we’d make in cute bookstores

where you’d delicately place me up against a creaking

bookshelf and rest your lips between my legs.

you were supposed to help me save the world.

I was supposed to drink salt water from your ocean eyes.

instead we’ll sit in a room together blind folded,

our tongues no where to be found,

our hands holding each other,

and our hearts loving one another other,

all while not knowing where we are.

And still,
in the complete silence,
the universe
whispers your
name
and I
stretch out my fingertips,
searching for
you in the
overwhelming

darkness.

love -
an emotion filled with desire
well i desire you.

its you i want
breathing your deepest drowned secrets in my ear
telling me you never loved anybody this much
stroking my hair in the hot, hot sun

love -
an emotion filled with trust
well i trust you.

its you i want
knowing when I'm not ok
kissing me to wipe my tears away
thinking of me when you're not here with me

love -
an emotion filled with affection.
well, i wanna affect you

its you i want
thinking of me when you're with her
missing me when you're all alone
dreaming of me because you aren't here.

where are you?

i love you.

I needed you where are you
I needed you who are you
I love you where are you
I love you who are you
Im yours where are you
Im yours who are you
Who have I fallen in love with
And love where have you gone
Your no longer here by my side
Where are you
Im yours I need you
I love you
Where are you

3.36 found my eyes open
Alone in a bed, a drought amidst
Cracking thunder and abusive rain.
My farflung thoughts dodged droplets
As they struggled to reach you.
You were dancing with Jupiter,
Quickstepping through asteroids and waltzing over elden craters
Creasing the face of our peaceful watcher of the night.
As you passed by, I
Reached for you, attempting to defy the tethers at my feet.
I glanced down at them--realized they looked like hands;
Hands I knew held me from you as if
You were some toxic drug and they were doing so
"For your own good," like they would know
What good you could do for me.
Can they not feel my desert heart
Nor see rain forest eyes?

You were scheduled to return yesterday,
Then today, then hope slipped from my scope
Pointed to the stars, searching for your
Blazing trail of fire. The sky is dark.
Still I say my prayers
That, in your brilliance and splendor returning,
The pyre consumes you not.

Where is everybody?
They keep telling me they are here
here for me
but they never are
lies and broken promises
I’m starting to doubt
is anyone out there?
truthful and actually here?

*(s.m)