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Que 2d
I wake up creaking,
stiff and wanting to cry,
from pain or sadness,
I'm not sure.
I wake up not here:
still dancing in lilac fields
where nothing seems to matter,
where you disappear
and my stress follows.
I wake up not wanting to;
wishing I could turn over
and rock myself back to oblivion.
I wake up cursing
and I know it's a new day.
I know the sun comes back around
but fate seems like a *******
and it won't let me in
am I going to be great
or am I just here?
I wake up waiting.
Will you ever let me love you?
My angel arrow, my fire fuel
Will you ever love me?
Was I such a fool?

You look into my eyes
You see a blinding light
I look into your eyes
I see a pitch-black night

Unrequited, allocated to your hundreds of friends
Obsessive, impressive; your love just pretends
I wait for this fate that brings you back to me
And I wait almost eternally

You build me up; you bring me down
And you somehow blame it on me?
I've made the door and its lock
And yet you've thrown away the key

But I'm alright, I'm okay
I sit on these steps and wait for you
But I'm obsessive, I'm crazy
And I wish it wasn't over you
silver springs
Zywa 5d
We're waiting, sadly

the angels hang there, over --


our iniquity.
Poem "die sigbaarmaking van allerlei strooptogte" ("the making visible of all kinds of raids", 2022, Antjie Krog)

Collection "Stall"
"I will fall in love with you
over and over again
I don't care how, where, or when
No matter how long it's been
You're mine
Don't tell me you're not the same person
You're always my husband and I've been
Waiting.
Waiting."
These are lyrics to a a song written by Jorge Rivera-Herans, creator of Epic the Musical. This song is how I feel about you, ☀️. You will always be mine. I love you.
Kya pareshaniyan hai yeh intezaar,
Na Khabar, na paigham, na iblagh

What distress this waiting is?
No news, no message, no communication

Aate jaate hain duniya waalon magar,
sakht sozish rehta hai seene mein, yeh intezaar

People come and go in the world,
But a sharp pain remains in my chest, this waiting

Ache aqwaal karte hai bekhauf se,
Lekhin ghari tik tik karta hai, yeh intezaar

They speak words of comfort fearlessly,
But time ticks away slowly, this waiting

Mahine beet gaye mausam guzarte, kya barqarar?
Aatish-e-rut mahol dil mein, yeh intezaar

Months have passed, seasons have changed, what remains?
The fire of longing in my heart, this waiting

Ab yeh jazb aur zakham-e-rooh kya faida?
Shukriya kehta Nacheez, yeh intezaar

Now (after all of this), is there any benefit to this intense passion and spiritual wound?
Nacheez says thank you, in this waiting
H May 21
I reached out to you yesterday.
You had just told me how you felt,
You said it felt difficult.
I felt it too.

Three weeks it had been.
The silence echoed.
I questioned myself, had I done something?
I waited and waited…

I asked to meet up again,
You didn’t respond.
The day before you sounded different,
Then I heard nothing but my own heartbeat.

I had been over the moon.
I thought you might like me.
Do you though?
How am I to know.

My friend saw us,
Were you asked about it, and it felt too much?
Or were you honest…
You just felt like you were gonna mess something up.
Written to process what happened
Rose May 19
today was like most days,
we lay together in my bed.

skin to skin.
heart to heart.

your head resting on my chest,
our breaths syncing onto one rhythm.

you held me so tight,
with such love and care.

the only difference today,
from all the days before,

was that today,
you wiped my tears as they fell.

and today,
i wasn't your girlfriend.

yet you still looked at me
with the same love in your eyes.

maybe even more.
is his arms is my favorite place to be
Rose May 18
if roots can wait,
beneath the earth,
for a rain they cannot live without.

and if the stars wait,
lingering in dusk,
just to see the moon once more.

then i,
full of burning ache,
can wait too.

I will wait for you.
I'd wait for him in every lifetime
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