It's here...
The time has come,
yet my feelings unmatched
to how i thought i would handle it.
this pain that dwells,
a haunting like no other.
Permanently ingrained,
stitched to my soul ...
the raw thought,
rolling your name off the tongue
in the past tense.
They're not just tears.
My eyes, they leak.
Uncontrollably.  
Hitched with the breath that plays repreat.

You push on...
But how?
the new day starts,
the old pain persists.
I don't want to miss you.
Let me keep loving you, still.
I know you no longer suffer,
but right now it's transfered.
I struggle to breathe
Struggle to sleep
Struggle to let your memories creep in.
I don't want to miss you,
But I'll never stop loving you, still.

i want to disappear
from this world,
this planet because
i can not be reminded
of you, anymore.
all this reminiscing and
memories are just too much
for my empty soul.
i ignore you and try
to forget you,
but it's impossible.
i want to avoid you,
and maybe i am succeeding
at it,
but i also want to find you
because you seem to
disappear lately, too.
all i need is closure,
because without it
i cannot move on,
and maybe,
i do not want to,
maybe i want to
love you until
the end of time,
but i also want to
forget you and
escape the spell you
had cast on me.
i don't want you
to invade my thoughts,
anymore.