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F Elliott 56m

Let it be the Mountain she finds Holy—
not because it sparkles
or sings
or speaks in riddles,

but because its dark loamy soil
receives her bare feet like a memory.

A prairie hill above the sea,
where grasses bow and whisper,
and the wind carries the salt and scent of things
too old for names—
that’s where the house stands.
Not built from stone,
but from time.
And longing.

And the laughter of those
who once remembered Eden.

Let her dig down,
as if the roots of a wildflower
were waiting to rise through her skin,
lifting her slowly from within—
the stem, the pistil,
the fragile yet indestructible bloom.
Let the soil speak to her in silence,
saying:

You are still loved.
You are still alive.
You are not what happened to you.


Let her turn toward the sun—
not in shame,
but in radiant defiance—
and know in that moment
where her help truly comes from.

Let her running to the mountain
be joy, not dread.
Let her ascent be not an exile,
but a return.

Let her wings unfold brazenly,
as the daughter of the living God.
Not tucked.
Not hidden.
Not compromised.

She does not belong to the mountain that mocks love
and feeds on the ruin of hearts.

She belongs here—
where her own flesh and bone
become not only family
but friend,
through the common bond
of the soil that gives life to all who dare to sink into it.

She belongs
where peace lives in warm light on cold nights,
where cotton sheets smell of soap and skin,
and starlight sifts through trees
like the hush of forgiveness.

Let her remember her first love..
before the theft,
before the theater.
Before the wound.

Let her toes remember
what it was to wiggle in the dirt
of something unbroken,
unshamed,
true.

Let her find home again—
not in a place carved out for her,
but in the space she reclaims
with her own rootedness.

Let her petals unfold slowly in the sun—
but only with her feet deep in the mountain's soil,
where others also have planted their lives,
becoming one
in harmony of breath and memory and Grace.

She will not enter into a sepulcher.
She will stand on the mount before the rising sun—
alone if she must,
but never abandoned.

And somewhere in the hush between
the breeze and the soil,
she may yet feel

the quiet echo
of someone still with her.

Let the flower breathe the free air
  and  she  will  sing...


"In an old house on a hillside
Next to the sea
Far from the madness, that folds around me
Peaceful and gentle, like sails on the breeze

In an old house on a hillside
Next to the sea
There's a warm light on a cold night
And clean cotton sheets
Soap smellin' skin and tinglin' feet
With stars linin' the skyline
And shine through the trees

In an old house on a hillside
Next to the sea
And when the autumn comes down
We'll get what we need from the town
And all of our friends will be round

In an old house on a hillside
Next to the sea
Moon white as paper and night black as sleep
With old things behind us and new things to be

In an old house on a hillside
Next to the sea

And when the sunshine comes down
My hair will turn golden
And my skin will turn brown

And all of our friends will be round"

https://youtu.be/FPQyn36gzlY?si=B5mtweJP3pbu6jqO

#MattersoftheHeart
Your words were small,
but they split me open-
quiet knives
dressed as truth.

I carried your words
like glass under skin-
invisible,
but cutting every time I moved.

Every syllable,
a small death I swallowed
just to stay close.

I bled in silence
so you wouldn’t hear
what you’d done.

I’ve never healed right
from the sound
of your voice
telling me
I wasn’t enough.
You hurt me with hands that once healed,
and still, I kiss the wounds you leave behind.

You are my poison and my prayer.
A god I can’t stop kneeling for,
even as the altar crumbles under me.

We are saints of suffering,
bound not by grace,
but by the echo of every scream we swallowed,
just to stay.


The silence.
The sweetness that comes too late
and still tastes like heaven.
I know the cage,
and I decorate it in your name.
Call it temple.
Call it home.

You say you love me
in the same breath that cuts me.
And I believe you.
Not because it’s true,
but because it has to be.
Because if it isn’t,
then what am I left with
but ruin?

We’re stitched together with wounds and longing,
with apologies that rot before they reach our lips.
There’s a hallway in me
I don’t walk anymore.
Peeling wallpaper,
footsteps that don’t echo right.
I think you were there once,
or maybe I placed you there,
like a candle in a burned-out house.

The mind is a liar
with a soft voice.
It tells me we laughed
in that room where the screaming happened.
It paints smiles
over broken teeth.
It places hands on my shoulder
and forgets they used to bruise.

I remember a lullaby
stitched from silence.
I remember warmth,
but maybe it was fever.
Maybe it was blood.
Maybe it was survival
pretending to be love.

Photos rot in the drawer.
I touch the faces like I’m blind,
trying to recognize
which ones were real
and which ones wore me
like a mask.

There are days
when I almost miss it.
Not the pain,
but the clarity of it.
Now it’s just fog,
a theater of soft lies
replaying
with the volume turned low.

I smile sometimes,
but it’s reflex,
like a corpse twitching
as the nerves forget
they’re not alive.
Kaiden 2d
"I want to forget"
Stupid words said by a stupid child,
That deep down wanted to remember.

Now that I'm forgetting,
I try to put it into words,
So one day, when i forget,
They'll remember.
Let's be honest here, there's no "they". No one cares, no matter how much they pretend they do. This one is a draft from a month ago
Kaiden 2d
Did i really lose my innocence,
If i never had it?
For context, i was SA'd as a kid but i was really young and i dont remember anything from before that. The one who did it was my "loving father".
I am going through something,
Something that feels like nothing,
A smile hides it well,
But eyes always tell,
Body wants to lie down
on fluffy clouds,
Soul wants to elope and shout,
Heart wants to drown,
Mind whispers sins-
Urges me to commit fouls,
But Heart howls:
"JUST DROWN",
I am going through something,
Even forgetting to breathe
Written in a moment I couldn’t escape—a memory that still breathes in my silence.
If I am not rage, then what am I?

I tried love, trust, patience, empathy

They were accepted out of courtesy

But discarded like an inconvenience

If I am not anger, then what am I?

I tried so very hard, so much time

Just to receive little effort and no time

Just to be abandoned and misled

If I am not anger, nor am I rage itself

Then I am the pain you gave to me
finish line and i suddenly feel it all
heavy burden i coped with numbness
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