The wall without end,

without gates and hope, carries --


many illusions.

I've lost your voice.
The world has gone silent.
All I hear are endless
echos bouncing from the walls of my mind.
I only wish to hear it
One last time.

Trapped in my mind
A prison I can't escape
Unable to move
Can't speak
I see it and hear it all
But unable to respond
I see your tears as you cry
I hear your prayers at my bedside
But I am trapped in my mind
A prison I can't escape

Treble hook,
Trap my mouth,
Take me out of air.
Discard what you don’t like
There’s truly none to share

I also know why the caged bird sings.
He does so because the bars were forged in hatred,
and the whole world has turned into a simple room,
as when your eyesight only reaches the horizon,
and you can’t walk past it anymore, you forget
there was anything ahead of it. The caged bird sings
because he thinks he chirps the truth, yet they are lies,
propaganda repeated from who first captured him.
The caged bird sings because blindly repeating
what he once heard like a mindless parrot
gives him a fake sense of freedom,
even when his only prison is his own mind.

i love both my parents
but i prefer spending time with just my dad

he lets me do what i want
he very rarely says no
he does threaten to beat me for looking at him funny
but we can move past that

my mom says no to nearly everything
she criticizes and nitpicks everything i do
she makes me feel like im constantly in the wrong
it's like i have no freedom when she's around

shows my priorities, huh?
that i'd much rather be beaten then trapped

I lived in a vast darkness.
A fragile silence that even choked sobs could break.
But the black glass of quiet shattered,
When you battered the door.
Its hinges screamed,
Just as you did.
I cowered in the corner when I heard the bottle explode,
From where you threw it.

Then it was a blur.
Threats to give me a "real reason" to cry.
More glass smashed against the oak, before it collapsed onto the tile floor.

A sudden clarity filled me as I heard the click of a lock.
You had trapped me here.
The dark I had once longed to be in became a cage.

I screamed.
Begged.
Clawed the wood until my fingers bled and the paint peeled.
But you stomped away,
Leaving me in a suffocating blackness.

Time had passed differently then.
A day had become weeks,
But also a second.
Hunger consumed me and I was left to rot in my own filth.
The acrid smell from the bottles on the other side of the door burning my nose.

I don't know how long I was in there.
I don't know if I'll ever find out.
I don't know if I'll ever be the same again.

I still sleep with a light on,
And I still sleep with my room door open.
And I refuse to open the hall closet
That you put me in as a punishment,
For accidentally breaking a small vase.