Who Am I?

If I can ask,
“Who am I?”
Then I am.
But not who.
Not yet.

The echo proves I breathe,
But not the name behind it.
The flame burns,
But does not say who lit it.

I am the question,
Not the answer.
The whisper before the voice.
The step before the road.

To know me
is to walk
without a map
and still arrive.

Always chasing distraction,
Running to keep ahead.
Always to my next action,
My thoughts I still dread.

Studying till I can not,
And then wanting to get drunk.
Thoughts disappear shot by shot,
So I won’t get in a funk.

My feet start to tire,
I sit and breathe.
The thoughts consume me like fire,
Blazing and burning through me.

I try and get up fast,
To escape my own thoughts.
To avoid my harsh past,
But they keep up their taunts.

I'm in shackles, not looking for keys,
No dreams of escape, no silent pleas.
The iron hugs me like a fate I chose,
But this pain, this ache, only I know.

One by one, I break my bones,
Not in hope, not to atone.
Each crack sings like a prayer gone wrong,
A mournful verse in a forgotten song.

They do not see the blood I spill,
The silent wars, the quiet ****.
They think I sleep, they think I breathe,
But I’m unraveling beneath each sheath.

These shackles aren’t just forged in steel,
They’re made from every wound I feel.
And as my flesh gives in to dust,
So does my soul, so does my trust.

Each snap, a scream that no one hears,
Each fracture, stitched with ghosts and fears.
Not breaking free, but breaking down,
Stripped of name, stripped of crown.

No freedom waits at the end of this game,
Just pieces of me too worn to name.
But still I crack, bone after bone,
Tearing away till I’m fully gone.

Let them wonder what silence means,
I was never bound by chains,
I was bound by me.

Amnesia sounds cool,
But there's just too much
to hold onto.

I get told i don’t think

But I’m thinking right now

I think all the time..

Constantly my brain won’t stop

I’m writing these words down that come to mind to try and sort it all out but it won’t cease

I can’t stop thinking

Words are rushing onto the page like a pipe thats about to burst

I keep trying to patch the hole but more water seeps through..

More words.. seep through

Consuming my thoughts till it’s all that I’m made of

All that i think of

Another meaningless day, disrupted by a stirring action,
Or maybe stillness and passiveness carry more meaning.
Chasing eternal ideas, we neglect pressing matters.
Drunk with high ideals, we dismiss those closest to us.
We pour our strength into chasing the true path,
and live in a future that never arrives.
When today flew away, leaving no chance to mend broken pieces,
only the bitter taste of anxiety over the unattainable
and regret for what was left undone remain by our side.

I remember that evening like it was just a month ago
Almost night, the shadows of trees around us,
and our hands locked together.
Time stopped on the clock for a moment.
Like a fish thrown onto the shore,
We couldn’t handle the scale of this new life.
Suffocating under overwhelming feelings,
with no air left inside us.

I close my eyes,
and scenes from the past flash by like an old movie reel.
An apartment block,
a courtyard with iron football goals,
one ball for two teams.
How happy we were in those days,
when our pockets were empty
and our hearts free of envy and rivalry.
I close my eyes, and only one question lingers:
When did we lose our feelings in a flood of meaningless worries?

When the spring winds fell into my lap
and my stride began to fatigue
and the taste of new days
often soaked in reminiscence
became too difficult to stomach
I tied the skyline around my soul
and made curtains from the sun
to shade the windows from the grey
of afternoon storms
when all the speeding and whirling
thoughts fall into my lap
they intertwine with a breeze
drifting from place to place

I'm picking up

       What you're putting down

                   You didn't have to throw

                                     it

                                     at

                                     me.