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Ashley Mellinger Jan 2022
I can't really rhyme very well,
or write.
so... apologies.

[verse 1]
finally asking for some help
and swallowing my pride
friends won’t listen to me
and I’m stabbed in my backside

scared of my own shadow
and watching my every move
giving it my all despite
knowing you’ll disapprove

there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.
there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.

[verse 2]
writing my own hero
that I thought I’d always need.
giving him the deepest,
darkest flaws inside of me.

broken hearts and promises,
makeshift therapy.
run into burning buildings
always voluntarily

working from dawn to dusk,
told secrets I cannot keep,
work always follows me home
so I cry myself to sleep.

writing to escape this ****** reality
while I sit in silence
and question my sexuality

there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.
there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.

[verse 3]
sleepless nights, stick & pokes
unblocking my ex
bloodshot eyes, fake smiles,
fill the void with meaningless ***

always stopped when I said no,
but never heard a yes.
stepped outside to call his wife;
left me a crying mess.

total disassociation
lie, say that I’m fine.
googling ptsd
but denying what I find.

exploited daddy issues,
making myself small.
the silent contemplation
of ending it all.

there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.
there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.

hey, what can you say?
we were overdue.
but it’ll be over soon.
just wait.
ba-da-da, ba-da-da, ba-da-da-da-da-da-da

— The End —