I am here
And that baffles me
How much longer
Must i fake;
Must i lie like i
Love to love the love we love
Thats in love because love is a mask that never was.
I am what i am
And that baffles them
How much longer
Will i die inside
Writhing and screaming
Waiting for the world to be what it should be and end.
Like a pickup line to my sanity
Ill rip through the void;
Ill crack; burst apart eventually.
What fears ail me
So intangible yet enshrouding
Blinding me as i walk the coals
Of your speech and reverie
Is it your life im shamelessly
Crouching in the corner of?
Is it your soul im eating
Snake end to end
Unraveling and racing towards the beginning
Just to be at the end.

i envy the stars,
the way you would stare at them and smile
how you looked so longingly toward them
you wanted to join them
and then you tried.
in your trying, you did not reach them.
you stayed here, on this rotting rock, stuck with me.
your smile has gone away forever. you dont laugh anymore.

i wish i had never let you envy me.
like i envy you
and envy the great shining lights that surround us.

Can we talk
about those teens
who saw their lives
draining out of their hands
like sand falling back into the beach,
and instead of holding it tightly
against their chests
decided to blow it away
with the wind;
like a kid blowing his candles
far too fast
and extinguishing the fire
from his only birthday cake
until there was nothing left
to live?

i lie facedown on the train tracks.
the gravel presses symbols into my skin,
but none of them translate.

home is a concept with too many rooms.
i sharpened my alibi
on my mother’s brittle bones
until it fit into a quieter mouth.
she didn't flinch.

the sun unthreads me one fiber at a time.
nothing resists.
blink
blink
blink
each time, the world returns
slightly rearranged—
trees on the ceiling,
windows in my stomach.

i found a way out,
but it only leads back here.
the platform loops
in the shape of an open jaw.
i circled it three times,
then laid down between its metal teeth—
the world doesn’t bite anymore.
it just holds me.

small, warm,
still breathing.
regret nests in the hinge of my jaw.
i keep it clenched, and
it doesn’t protest.
it flicks the lights off
when the rail begins to sing.
it knows the schedule better than i do.

the daylight plucks at my ribs like harp strings.
each note sounds like a name i was never meant to hold.
i buried the moon weeks ago.
she made it difficult to leave.
if you’re still listening—
the train is already halfway through me.

today,
i let the mouth stay open.
maybe the scream will crawl back in.
maybe it never left.

Roses over the farm
With machines to watch
Liberty is a quiet worth, in long marches
With tact to establish, and wantonness to match?

Working for an undue cloud, is like this
A host of wishes so profound...
Without any habit oft heed, for comparative bliss?
Of a human choice, in the shadows of a world

We grow the obvious
And harvest the complex, complete to winks
And stinks of the nowhere, many in seldom to discuss
The wages of simplicity, to know a character of what is...

Arts of the ******, wish for more...
Aches of intellect, service an ideal...
Acts of ingenue, know a craving host for order...
'And the scope of justice in the land, is it all and sanity, to heal?

Wounds of the ley, the avarice of a noble land?
Has stood, and begun the counting
Of a worthier wish than a clash of energy's at hand
With the pleasance of meager insight to keep, is suicide pouting?