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Lost Girl Jan 2017
One.
Salty tear creeps down my cheek.

Two.
Hands balled in fists ready to fight the battle.

Three.
Reasons to say goodbye to those I used to love.

Four.
Walls, that I used to call home, are now the death of me.

Five.
Fingers ready to grasp the blade and make a deep cut.

Six.
Prayers to God begging Him for help and asking Him for mercy.

Seven.
Voices in my head telling me to be stronger than my depression and anxiety.

Eight.
More voices telling me to give up because all I am is a worthless piece of trash.

Nine.
One. One. Call the ambulance because I am about to die.

Ten.
Commandments taught me that thou shall not **** but killing I shall do.
You'll survive. I know I did.
darktowers Apr 2016
When she all alone in here room
She cry's
When all you got are these four walls
Not so hard feel so small
How come no one stopped her
When she said
Mabe I'm better of dead

Now here I am wishing
I got there in time
To stop you
But here I am
With gun in hand
Wondering if it will be enough
Stop voices in my head
Destiny Odeh Jul 2015
Dear Mum,

I fell in love with an angel,
Although these feelings run deep but I can't tell.
Nothing hurts like loving from afar,
Because she doesn't love me the way I love her.

Her deep seated issues made her weak.
With the blush of innocence on her cheek.
At different intervals I would stare at her for long,
She was the beautiful theme of my song.

Nothing gave her tranquility like a blade and a cigar.
Her face like a Hollywood movie star.
But her arms were a gallery of secret scars.

Loving wholeheartedly was her undoing.
An imperfect being - A human so broken.
And the final nail in her coffin,
Was seeing her lover's lifeless body in the morning.

The words "Live Forever, Fly Away!" scribbled with
his blood on the mirror next to his arm.
A bottle of ***** on the sink, empty bottles of xanax
and a blade in his right palm.

Trapping herself in a room with no door.
Suffering from a kind of depression with no cure.
She gave up on everything.
Had nothing left, but emptiness within.

She got on a ledge and tried to return home; to the sky.
She ruffled her arms once more, as if she could fly.

She fell.

Tear drops bounced off the skies and washed her blood away.
I didn't weep for the moments we never had. I shed a tear
for each word I never got a chance to say.

Three tear drops ran down my cheek, lubricating my lips.
- "I love you".

After midnight; under the cloak of darkness, watching the stars dance.
I solemnly whispered to the heavens seeking guidance.
I say a quick prayer begging God for repentance.

Taking a deep breath, I exhale slowly.
Waiting for a miracle, a sign, an epiphany.
Just anything to stop me.

I found Dad's old revolver under his bed.
Please forgive me as I place it against my head.
I hope in this life you will someday understand,
The reason I'm pulling this trigger is to hold my angel's hand.

Yours Forever,
Elijah
My Scarlet Amora Jun 2015
I can't breathe
Let me breathe
There isn't air anymore
I can't breathe
No one hears me
I have such soft screams
But I'm still screaming
I'm still a person
I think I should stop
That's my problem
I never know when to stop
Why can't I make decisions
Sure I'll do that since you suggested it
Who am I?
I am the walrus
Yup I'm gone
And it's so late
remember when we use to stay up all night
I think about that all the time
I can't get back on my schedule
I need to just let it go
But I can't
How many sunrises did we watch together
How many cigarettes did we smoke
How much closer were we
to each other
to death
And now I've run out of air
Maybe that's why we didn't sleep
Because we knew our time was numbered
You say you saw this coming
I really didn't to everyone's dismay
I thought I was making a choice
And then I couldn't do it
But I couldn't do it now either
I can't keep jumping person to person
You both should have left
I wanted that
But I'm afraid to be alone
I'm afraid of myself
And I'm afraid of the dark
silence is my biggest fear
And my farthest goal
I miss my clocks
I miss cat
And I miss you
I can't believe I don't remember what you smell like anymore
That's ****** up
Can I smell you
or is that a no
I'm suppose to be learning how to read social cues from people now
I can't only have one emotion they said
More like all of them combined
I think I've lost it
Dude you broke me
But its okay
I like this
Broken means I don't have to worry about breaking
Maybe you were right
It wouldn't be the first time
JM McCann Jun 2015
I remember when you were my friend, when we talked about the future
and our plans. I wanted to get one good dose of life and went to the mountains.
You wanted safety of your survival and went to exchange your rights
for extra harnesses.
You began to search for survival and found the highway.
The neon blue signs
advertising just that.
You will feel comfortable, very comfy cause when you see the same
things at 10mph at 100mph whatโ€™s the rush?
You will survive for a long time never too long what you claim,
happy to see where the world goes.
The bug on your windshield will be your biggest problem.
Your foot will begin to slip and you will turn off the highway.
Yet the bumps on the exit ramps will be more than bumps,
slowly flattening your tires, destroying the and you leave worse than when you
turned off.
Not the ramps fault itโ€™s just things were designed this way you saywith a shrug.
Slowly your organs will start to show and you will survive for a long time
but nothing more.
You will see how ugly a heart really is, a blob of red keeping you alive.
You will see your mortality in the mirror.
You will feel the harnesses, once so comforting begin to dig into your skin.
The lines from the harness more clear than clothing.
You will have food, water and a place to hang your hat
but it will never be your home but you will survive for a long long time,
too long.ย ย 
The suicide nets prevent the last line of control and you will survive for
a very long time, far too long.
You will bounce off the nets and be gently be taken back to the highway.
Hope you enjoy and any feedback is more than welcome!
Purple Rain Apr 2015
I sit and cry,
I could tell you why,
But you probably wouldn't care
You would just sit, and stare

Well I can not bare,
Much of any longer
I thought I would become stronger,
But that was a lie
The insides gone
I'm crying out
As the outside is a future untold,
I'm no longer a person of the word bold
I just realized the outside cold
And I'm crying out
My Life that is unworthy of such a mold of destruction
This is a beautiful face that you can not replace,
So now,
I am on my knees,
and I am pleading out
I am so much crying out
Even though you act as if you can't see me,
Just because you know you will never BE ME.
Instead of letting me float away,
Why don't you help me stay.
For I am a feather trying to find my way.
Moon Shine Jan 2015
There is no hope
There is a scratch on my throat
There is a home in my prison
There is a blur in my vision
There is a boy in the bars
There is a there is a life in afar
There is a lonely sea
There is a night when it's waves are tall enough to drown me
There is a paper bag on my head
There is a hat made with lead
There is a rope
There is no hope
There is a pain in my stomach
There is a wingless butterfly taking it's plummet
There is a lock with no key
There is a mystery
There is a note missing
There is a sorrow hissing
It's something never wrote
There is no hope
- Jan 2015
You're not the one to blame for
You don't have to leave
You don't deserve it

I'll take you're place
Dont die because of me
Not a poem
- Jan 2015
I love feeling this way
I love feeling this pain
I love feeling like trash
I love dying

I'm so glad you're out of my life now
I'm so glad that I don't have to deal with you
I'm so glad I don't have to feel this weight
I'm so glad I can die

We can dance with scarlet ankles
And dress in silver lining
We leave our mark in our hearts
But I don't want to do it with you

But I'm still sorry
I just don't know who I'm sorry for
s Dec 2014
I'm sitting on the edge of a cliff just waiting for the ground underneath me to
g i v e
Maybe if I was more grateful.. maybe I just need to stop being so selfish and
g i v e
I should just take my life and let someone else have the responsibility. I will just
g i v e
g i v e
g i v e
Its all I can do other than taking.
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