I have signed a form
That I can’t turn back from.
I have raised a hand

Of which

cannot be undone.

I have held a blood-stained blade
That’s ruined another,
Scars, wounds, words and all,
Isn’t red a horrible colour?

Isn’t red a horrible colour?

I have made a deal with the devil
And it's given me a choice:

Be the monster
I always have been
Or
Fix myself
With a roll of dice,

Stain my hair
Bronze, silver and gold
Or
Dig through the dirt
At my feet,

Bite my tongue and
Hold my throat
Or
Clasp my hands together,
On my knees.

Isn’t red a beautiful colour?

Collaterally damaged.
I took damage to my system.

Using the grit of my finger nails to claw myself into a stable position.
Observing the impact through my palms.

My hands discolored—not bleach.
Discolored.

A damaged nervous system, navigating it like the amazon.
The goals I went to and from are all forgotten because of my accidental backpedaling.

Riding a bike backwards is inferior.
Only going farther away from your destination and all the way back to your shelter.

With all these task in hand…
The success ladder a loopy event.
Like climbing Jacobs Ladder but without the visions of angels and streams of light.

Slumped against a wall
Around the back of a
Home,

A week without a rest
and just
A lifetime to
Go.

A golden crown rests heavily
on my head,
Achievement rests light on
My heart,

Bracing for the second when
I start
Seeing stars.

Success is sacrifice,
And sacrifice is pain.
What is a winner without
A life of cruel shame?

Happiness is temporary,
Climbing the ranks is
Life.

I look at fate,
Fate looks back at me,
And I accept the hardship
with

A smile.

Many a mistake, I've made
But that need not necessarily be bad
Because, a lot I've learned
Whenever I've failed
I feel I can handle anything
And need to fear nothing
Because, I've seen the worst
Though I'm yet to see the best!

Many a mistake, I've made
To my struggles, you'll see no end
Often, do I trip and fall
In my court, never is the ball
But I'm slowly improving
My personality is developing
Yes, I haven't tasted success
But I'm certainly a work in progress!!

Many a mistake, I've made
But I know I'll come good
Only a matter of time
Please, give not a ****
About my past failures
See my improvements
Big and small
I rise after every fall!!

Many a mistake, I've made
But the world won't end
After all, life is up and down
And I'm definitely not alone
We all make mistakes
In fact, that's the best path to success
More important than learning what to do
Is learning what not to do!!

Many a mistake, I've made
But immensely, they've helped
I am battle-hardened
And will go to bed
Knowing I've done enough
To handle the rough
Soon, will the smooth come
Again, only a matter of time
I repeat, many a mistake, I've made
But ultimately, I've learned
That's all that matters
Thank you for your patience!!

So much losses had me losing faith,
so much setbacks had me doubting if there's ever going to be a way,
so much potential seems driven away,
so much efforts that never yielded to gain,
so many struggles with no success attained.
But we can't give up just because we fail, right?
For what's faith without loss? What's breakthrough without setbacks?
What's potential if there isn't a trial?
What's success with no stories of struggles?
It doesn't fit, so I will iterate again.
Hopefully, God will be on my side.