I was fed a lie
and as stupid as I am
I believed
and ate it up like honey
until betrayal's claw
fermented and
burst from my stomach
grabbing me by the throat

My crime is that
I care too much,
love too much,
trust people easily,
don't act like a regular man,
and show my wounds
to the people I love.

So I am always misunderstood
seen as stupid
and left brokenhearted,
hurt and alone.

Maybe, just maybe,
I should for once turn into
what society wants me to be—
a man with no heart,
emotions, and care.
One small change
will affect everything else

when I think of regrets in this life
there are more than I could count on both hands and feet
regret is natural and normal and healthy
but some of it is not
the kind that creeps up on you day after day
when your brain isn’t fully involved in something or a conversation and so there is space to fill with memories, ideas, or a bunch of nonsense
or all of the bad things you’ve ever done in your whole entire life
I’m not sure if I’ve ever really told anyone or said them out loud even
the past ruminates in my conscious
waiting to bite me in the most random moments when I least expect it
several sentences in and I still can’t get it out
the words are there right behind my lips but I can’t get them out
I might die one day being the only one who knows

Don't worry, I wouldn't let you get that close. Like you have a choice. Try to touch me with anything and I will end you.

if i play with your hair,
i just didn't know what
to do with my hands.
i'll write a poem and
try not to feel pathetic,
i'll keep hoping or
come to terms with
you not really caring
where this'll go.
storybook ending,
beat the odds,
or straight into a
brick wall. i don't know.
i'll kiss you goodnight
and wonder who
you dream about
when you close your eyes.
we all have ghosts
we want to love us.
naked skeletons in the closet
that our memories dress in skin.
seasons change,
flowers wilt,
lovers leave.
i feel so stupid
wishing that you wanted me.